Handling Negative Reviews with Poise and Humor

Here's a little tease of the cover of ROGUE FAMILIAR, book 2 in Renegades of Magic, releasing at the end of February. Cover reveal coming soon!

This week at the SFF Seven we're talking about the Mentality of Negative Reviews. Specifically, the person who posed the question asked: do you recognize your fight-or-flight response to negative reviews and do anything to stop it?

I'm including the full text of the question because I'm disagreeing with the initial premise. I don't think I have a stress response to negative reviews. It could be that I've been writing long enough (nearly thirty years *gasp*) that I've become more or less inured to negative reviews. I remember a review of my first book, the essay collection WYOMING TRUCKS, TRUE LOVE, AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL, that was mostly glowing - but also said I used adverbs too much. It came from a professional reviewer at a venue I can't recall, and that was long before I realized that many reviewers are aspiring writers who cling to the "rules" of writing with the tenacity of an apprentice seeking the magic formula to catapult them to true wizard status. Mostly I was surprised that, if my professional, experienced editor at a university press hadn't minded my adverbs, then why did a reviewer? I understand now. I also know more about the weird anti-adverb stance some writers absorb.

Mostly. <- See what I did there? Humor is key.

Anyway. Experiencing a flight-or-fight response to a review means that you feel attacked. I suppose some reviewers intend it that way. They like to speculate about the author's emotional life, intentions, or deadline pressure. Authors are occasionally accused of manipulating readers to extract profit. Sometimes our moral integrity is questioned. But that's all par for the course on social media. I think what's most important for writers to do is separate themselves from their work. YOU didn't receive a negative review; the book did. Even if the reviewer specifically attacks the author, they're still not actually reviewing you as a human being, because they don't actually know you. The author is a construct in their mind that has very little to do with reality. 

Keeping your poise, a sense of yourself as a person separate from the work, and keeping a sense of humor about it all is what gets you through. After all, a review isn't a tiger. No one's going to die over a review. It's fangless, toothless, and ultimately dust in the wind.

 

Negative Reviews: Toddlers vs Champions

This Week's Topic:
The Mentality of Negative Reviews:
Do I recognize my fight-or-flight response to negative reviews and do anything to stop it?

I admit that a one- or two-star review is a gut punch, but...whether that punch is thrown by a petulant toddler or a 250-lb champion martial artist makes a world of difference. I can keep my intestines in place and unbruised from attacks by the toddlers of the interwebs. (I eat enough cheeseburgers to give me plenty of padding!) End of day, my reaction to those public tantrums is, "O-okay, nothing to learn here. Moving along."

Folks who want to correct my spelling, get into grammatical debates, or who seek to inflict their religious oppression on others fall under the category of Toddler. I don't waste brain space or emo spoons on those. 

The 250-lb champion martial artist can make me double over with a whimpered "oof" while my insides turn to goop. Once I regain consciousness, I take another read. Why, oh, why would I subject myself to that? IMHO, these readers articulate why they feel what they feel about my book in such a way that shows their love of the genre even if they have no love for my book. Often, on my second reading of the poopy review, I have to admit ...they're not wrong about this or that piece. Perhaps they found the gaping hole in the plot, a sameness of supporting characters, an (unintentional) insensitivity to a marginalized group, or that I was too coy with my clue reveals, which made the mystery fail. D'oh! 

My ego is not so massive that I can't learn. Thanks to constructive feedback and experience, I can now see the glaring mistakes I've made in the first books in both my series. (Sorry, readers! Truly!) Continuous improvement is part of the joy I derive from being an author. 

Now, that's not to say that I believe reviews are written with me as the target audience. Of course not. Reviews are written by readers for readers. I don't respond to reviews--glowing or craptastic. Again, they're not meant for me. Readers with an intention to school me via review are not likely to succeed. I'm a brat like that. 

Don't misunderstand, I value reviews. I'm grateful my work moved someone enough to take 3+ minutes from their day to publicly post their opinion. Naturally, good reviews are better because I'm trying to sell books, but if what I wrote pissed off a reader so much they need to leave a scathing review, that's their catharsis and not my problem. 

Little secret: what some readers may see as a red flag, I might not. What the reviewer is opining could well be what I intended. Some of my favorite reviews call my works "weird," "bizarre," and "unlike other books in the genre." They make me giggle with delight. I write in genres that are rife with roads that have been well-trod, so whenever a reader says I've done something different, I break out the full Snoopy dance. 

A Heroine to Aspire to

You would think, when I suggest a topic, I’d have a response to my own question in mind. You would think incorrectly. So, apparently, do I.

Like Jeffe, I very much dislike picking a favorite anything, so I’ll claim I haven’t. I’ve just selected a heroine I really wish I was good enough to have written. There are plenty of those, but in the spirit of playing by my own rule, I’m just picking one.

I wish I’d written Charlotte Holmes from Sherry Thomas’s Lady Sherlock series. She’s autistic. She’s brilliant, logical, and driven. She’s focused and her energy propels her story. The key to her humanity, though, is that she’s deeply unwilling to face or admit her vulnerabilities. I love the combination of clever intellect and sloppy emotion that she refuses to process. She stonewalls almost all tender feeling, and her reactions are predictable enough that she leaves herself open to being manipulated (by people she believes she’s manipulating.) I love her because she plays a long, long game. It’s fun.

The thing is, I don’t know if it’s the character I admire, or Sherry Thomas’s exquisite writing. Her facility with Charlotte’s character is exhilarating. I admire the heck out of how lightweight the craft feels when I’m reading the stories. I want to learn how to do that – to create someone complex, filled with contradictions that make complete sense within the story. I still have a lot to learn.

What makes your favorite hero/heroine?

We love gushing about things we’re fans of because what’s better than loving something? Sharing it with someone and loving it together! And this week we’re talking about our favorite fictional heroine that we didn’t write. 

The topic says heroine, and I’ve read some truly amazing heroines! But I don’t want to limit my character pool, so I’m going to go with favorite hero/heroine! 

Please let me introduce to you: Kvothe. 

If you’re scratching your head a bit, the author, Patrick Rothfuss, explains this name here. If you’re cheering at your screen, I see you. You’ve got great taste in books. 

Kvothe is a young man who makes dumb, young person mistakes. He had a wonderful childhood, which was stolen from him in a moment of voilence. He learned how to live on the streets. Then he pulled himself out of the gutter and managed to get himself into the most prestigious school. Kvothe isn’t some tough bad-ass strong-man, though he’s gone up against gods and walked away. He’s a lute player. And with those strings he makes magic. 

I picked Kvothe because of all those reasons listed above, but more importantly because he is a young man who has been molded by his circumstances, turned around, and said he wanted to make himself. And he didn’t do it by twirling swords and bashing skulls. He willed his world to be different, closed his eyes, and threw his entire being into making it so. 

I want to live like Kvothe. And yes, I absolutely wish I’d written Kvothe. If you’re in the mood for a thick epic fantasy, check out The Name of the Wind. 

How about you? Who is your favorite hero/heroine and why?

The Heroine I Wished I'd Written

 This week at the SFF Seven, we're talking about our favorite heroines that we didn't write. 

I think you all know me by now, and thus know I don't much like picking favorite anythings. There's a lot of room in my universe for all the stuff I love and I don't really think in terms of ranking. All that said, I just completed a reread of Patricia McKillip's The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, one of my most cherished books of all time. It's a brilliant fantasy novel and one I wished I'd written. The heroine and protagonist is a wizard woman named Sybel. 

Don't pay attention to the stupid listings that call this book young adult (YA). First of all, in 1974 when this book was first published, there wasn't a YA category. Secondly, the only reason this is listed as YA, I assume, is because it's written by a woman with a female protagonist. If this deeply layered, fucking brilliant fantasy novel is YA, then so is The Lord of the Rings. 

ANYWAY.

Sybel is simply a brilliantly drawn heroine. She is a product of her upbringing, isolated physically and in her immense power. Living among the magical, nigh-mythical creatures she cares for, Sybel has to learn to deal with human beings. She is unflinchingly strong throughout the story, cleaving to her own sense of self, even when others try to rip that away from her. In her learning to first love, then to hate, then to move past both, she achieves her own mythic status. Even as the reader follows her self-destructive path, dreading the inevitable outcome, we also believe totally in her reasons, never failing to cheer her on. Sybel is the awkward, bookish, shy girl in all of us, who wrestles with the tumult of the wider world. 

In rereading, I found so many ways this story has infused my own work, though I despair of ever reaching this level. And Sybel is in all of my heroines. Maybe even a bit in myself. 

3 Fav Webcomic Heroines

This Week's Topic: Favorite Heroine (who's not one of my creations) and Why?

I've a deep love for heroines who are competent and compassionate. Funny is a bonus, but humor is subjective so I'll glom on to the straight man (as in the comedy definition, not the CIShet meaning) just as quickly. Flaws are great when rooted in character dev and an untold backstory, but I'll chuck a book if she's pointlessly bitchy, whiney, or TDTL. I just...can't. Maybe I'm too old (reaches for fiber supplements). Maybe I'm too inundated by pop culture's "strong female protagonists" who can slaughter a hundred monsters as an "oopsie, I didn't know I was so powerful" then regress to total ineptitude the moment the dude shows up. That's not to say I need the heroine to be a mature expert from the start. I'm game for a clueless n00b as long as she's not...stupid. I love heroines who stand up for themselves. They don't have to do it with their fists. A concise verbal setdown is a thing of beauty too. (NGL, I stan swordmasters and assassins as well.) Gimme a gal who can apologize as well as show relationship awareness and gratitude while we're at it.  A woman who can outsmart, outthink, out plan, out strategize the opposition? I want her story in my grubby mitts.

So, which fictional ladies have me hooked?  Here are three from my current webcomic must-reads:

1. Empress Navier Trovi from Alpha Tart, Sumpul's The Remarried Empress webcomic
2. Martina/Astina from The Lady and the Beast webcomic by Maginot and Hongseul
3. Vivi from Little Rabbit and the Big Bad Leopard webcomic by Yasik, Sadam, and Mogin 
• the hilarity of the bunny's expressions is worth every paid ep

Book Club Tales

Once upon a time, our community had a book club. The organizer found out I'm an author and talked me into joining the group. We met once a month, as you do. Voted on which books to read. The group always picked two books so you'd have a choice of what to read and then divided the group along the lines of who read what. Then we sat around and talked about them. Indoors. Seated right next to one another. As if we had nothing in the world to fear. It was the before times.

Yeah Covid shut us all done and dealt a fatal blow to the group. Too many of our members were elderly or immune-compromised. In an active community with a population that skews pretty hard to retirees, the book club was a social haven for our neighbors with mobility issues or who are fighting cancer. So even after vaccinations and options to meet outdoors, the group never recovered and there is no book club in my neighborhood these days.

I liked the book club and I disliked the book club.

I liked that one of the books changed a woman's mind about what it means to be transgender. She'd firmly believed it was all nonsense. The book we read got her inside a transgender child's misery and their parents' struggles to comprehend and finally help the child thrive. If a book can engender compassion, that's power and I'm entirely here for that.

I disliked the book club because book clubs only want to read *important* books. You know. Oprah books. Literary books. Genre fiction isn't allowed. I could nominate as many genre fics as I wanted (don't think I didn't). They were never voted for. Not even as alternates. I'd gotten maybe three books into this book club deal and had pretty much decided it Was Not For Me (tm) when the pandemic handled the matter. Though I note that if we'd managed to keep a club going during the pandemic, I'm comfortably certain the members would have been more amenable to lightening the mood with some genre fiction.

My problem is that high school put me off reading literary books. It's just that I paid good money to big pharma and therapists over the years to stop being depressed and literary books depress me. Some of them are brilliant and uplifting and lovely. Water for Elephants comes to mind. But for the most part, literary books aren't invested in character arcs and I want to believe in the power of the individual to change. That's the appeal of genre fiction for me. I have yet to find a book club anywhere that wanted to read Murderbot stories. So I'll stick with genre fiction in my quiet corner of solitude where I can read the happy and the fun. Preferably SF, Romance, Fantasy, PNR, Steampunk - whatever my weird little heart takes a shine to. If I find a no pressure, come as you are book club that wants to stick to guaranteed HEA books, I'd be tempted to join. Until then, Twitter fandoms will be my clubs. 

Book Club Love

I miss my book club. If you know me, you know my book tastes don’t run with the typical book club types. Which was why I started my own with the goal to read fiction and introduce a wide variety of genre fiction to our members: Fictively Reading!

One of my favorite book club reads was Polaris Rising by Jessie Mihalik. Only one other person out of our group of eight had ever read science fiction before. It was one of the best discussions because they were all blown away by how much they got into the story and the characters, which also meant I got to geek out about space operas and what they are and why this one hooked us all so well. 

I think being in my self-created book club was such a good fit because I picked a few books and let everyone else vote on which one they wanted to read next. Had I actually read some of them before hand? Yes, but I wanted to be sure they were really good! There’s nothing better than suggesting a book to someone and they fall in love with it, come back to you and gush about it. And in our book club we all got to do that together! 

Another huge plus of being in a book club: you get out of the house and actually talk to people. As writers we don’t get a lot of face time IRL. And as introverted as I am, I still need connections with people. Meeting for book club was in part excuse to introduce SFF and romance to new readers, but also for our group to get together and catch up on everything that is life. 

*sigh* The good ol’ days. Unfortunately, the pandemic put an end to our book club meetings since we couldn’t actually meet in person. I have been asked by a few of the members if we’ll ever start back up. And you know what, we really should! 

Are you in a book club?