My Cringeworthy First Writing Efforts

 A praying mantis friend found her way onto my skirt the other day. Just one of many special blessings coming my way lately!

Our topic at the SFF Seven this week is the most unpublishable niche story we ever wrote.

Mine isn't necessarily a niche story - although it was of indistinguishable genre - but it was absolutely unpublishable and totally, as KAK puts it, cringe. In truth, it's because I can't think of this piece without that soul-deep cringe, that it springs to mind here. It wasn't even worthy of the word "story," it was that terrible.

See, I'd decided to become a writer. I'd cut bait on my PhD, got my MS, got a job as an editor/writer to build my chops, and was taking night classes to learn. But I hadn't gotten very good at the actual WRITING part. As in, I had no writing habit, I hadn't finished much of anything, and I was pretty much just farting around. Then I heard on the radio that Wyoming Arts Council (I lived in Wyoming at the time) was offering fellowships in literature. They had a rotating schedule between fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. I could either submit something for that year's award or wait three years. Since three years seemed like an impossibly long time then, I was determined to enter the competition that year.

Only I didn't have anything much to submit. But! I decided that I could enter the first few pages of a novel I'd started - the only pages I had of it - and trust that the judges would be so dazzled by the sheer promise of my work that they'd fall all over themselves to give me the fellowship.

Cringe cringe cringe

I have no idea what those judges thought of my fragmented pages of nothing. I obviously didn't win, nor did I receive any comments. Only much later did I realize just how delusionary I'd been. 

But you know what? Many years later, I did win one of those fellowships. It just took time, lots of dedicated work, and pulling my head out of my delusions. 

The Unpublishable Cringe

 This Week's Topic: The Most Unpublishable Niche Story I Ever Wrote Was...

First, I ought to be very clear that the story was unpublishable not because of the niche but because my writing at the time was, uhm, underdeveloped? Raw? Cringy? Okay, okay, okay. Horrible. I admit, it was horrible.  It was a grimdark romance short story written to the guidelines of a general fiction contest sponsored by a leading writing magazine. 

We will ignore the red flags around the contest because this was 20ish years ago. While the magazine is still around, the publisher at the time has long since folded and the magazine was subsumed by one of the Big 5 publishing houses. Hopefully, if they still run contests under the magazine's brand, they've cleaned up their act. Nope, I'm not gonna look and see. This topic isn't for Achtung Contests, Baby. Just do a web search for "red flags and writing contests." That'll get you plenty of results.

Back to the topic at hand: It is simultaneously hilarious and humbling to review my earliest works. To catch the glaring mistakes at first glance is, in fact, a good thing. It shows that I've grown as an author (and groaned too; there's lots of both). That I tried to shove a 90k story into 2500 words is, perhaps, the first warning siren. That I didn't know the reader's expectations of either genre so there was no attempt to deliver on the promise makes the story a certified wallbanger (if you happened to endure the craptastic writing to make it to the end). Character dev? Pfffft. A plot? A through line? Ahahaha. Staaaaaap. About all it had going for it was setting and dialogue. 

Oh, you want to see a sample of it? Oh, so, so, sorry.  That file "magically disappeared" along with Windows XP. Yep. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 😇