Offering a Hand Up

Mentors come in a lot of shapes and sizes in my life. I can't point to a single person or one single piece of insightful advice. When I look back, I see the long line of people who dropped tidbits of encouragement, advice, and tutoring. I look back across the vast sea of books I'd read that taught me how stories come together. I had RWA teaching me everything I needed to know about writing an about the business. I also had Jeffe trying to mentor me in networking - I was not her brightest pupil. Eventually, it was the people willing to critique my work and talk me through what was right, what was wrong, and how to fix it. I needed someone to take me by the hand and say this is wrong, do you see it? Here's how you fix it. I learned so much that way and I was so grateful for that education.

As for reaching back to help those coming up, I critique for others. Usually it's within my own critique groups, but the real fun is critiquing for contests. I want to help newer, younger writers learn what I learned from critique. 

I needed direct 'this is wrong, see? Do this. Or this.' I have come to understand, however, that I'm in the minority and most people do not want me approaching their fiction in that fashion. So I've had to adapt. I've learned to say things like, what's the goal of the scene? What does this character want right here and why? I guess I've had to learn to lead people to see their own issues themselves rather than have me come right out and say hey this doesn't work here's why and here's how to fix it. It's a running joke with my critique groups that you'll always here me say 'I feel like you have an opportunity here to do xy or z' which is my way of saying hey you missed a potentially potent story thread. I hope it helps.

As for me, I still need a mentor. I need someone who can mentor me in cloning myself so that one of me can do the day job and care for the elderly parents and the other one of me can write and take care of cats and the rest of the household. I'm not sure that kind of mad science is in anyone else's best interests, though. 

In Praise of Mentors

When faced with something you have to do, but don't know how to do, what DO you do? Maybe YouTube a how-to? Cause there are a metric crap ton of vids on any topic you can imagine (and a few you can't). There are arcane and amazingly useful channels out there. Then there are the videos that are clearly some desperate marketing 'guru' wanting to entice you into SPECIAL FOR YOU TODAY pricing on their amazing class that will teach you everything you ever needed to know about <insert topic, including writing, here>.

Some writers have channels that are legitimately helpful, but for writing mentorship, I lean on organizations. The single most cost effective way to learn about this industry while participating in the industry is to pay dues to RWA, SFWA, NINC, and other writer organizations that bring writers with all levels of experience together. Had I not found and joined RWA when I did, I'd still be out wandering in the novelist woods wondering why nothing was working.

Chapter meetings taught me the difference between internal and external conflict. It was at meetings that I finally figured out what voice was. When my first rejection letter came in, my chapter mates broke it down for me, explaining what the editor was telling me and how encouraging that rejection actually was. Chapter meetings and local writer conferences led me to classes and to the people who's working style meshed with and enhanced my own. Do you know how much that would cost if I'd tried to get that kind of support and education from a single person? Far, far more than I had. Then or now.

Writer organizations give you access to an incredibly deep well of experience and information. I can go to the email loops or forums, ask literally any question and have germane answers within a day. All for the price of a membership. In that regard, I am super pro-mentorship. Take advantage of the organizations to which you belong and do what you can to give back, whether that's through serving on a board, or volunteering to stuff goodie bags at a conference.

It's vital to recognize, though, that mentorships have drawbacks. First, no one can do the work for you. Second, when anyone talks 'how to', you aren't getting The One True Way. You're getting the speaker's way. Whatever the teacher/speaker is sharing is what works for them. It may not work for you. When you're the one learning, it pays to keep in mind that you're going to classes in order to try out tools to see how or whether they fit your hand. When you find what fits, seek out that instructor and take every last one of their classes. The point is to take what fits and chuck the rest.  In that way, you become your own best mentor.