Writing Through the Cycle of Despair

Happy Groundhog Day! In celebration of this (dubious) holiday, we here at the SFF Seven will be discussing that THING we find ourselves doing over and over in our books. If that's not scary, I don't know what is.

Just last weekend I did a video chat with an author friend, because I asked for her help with some brainstorming. We also chatted about our current projects and deadlines. Now, she's had multiple books on the NYT Bestseller list and commands enviable advances. She has a large and passionate fandom. But she was at the phase of her current book where she doubted *everything* about it.

I said, "the phase where you're certain the book is not only TERRIBLE, but the one that will destroy your career forever?"

And she said, "YES!"

This is an inevitable Groundhog Day cycle for me. (For those who don't know, this metaphor comes from the 1993 Bill Murray/Andie MacDowell movie, Groundhog Day, where he is trapped reliving the same day in an infinite loop. If you haven't seen it, it's both entertaining and a terrific analogy for working through the same issues repeatedly until we find our way out of them.)

My Groundhog Day writing cycle goes like this:

Baby love -> potty training -> school years -> horrible teen that smells bad and begs you to kill them -> off to college -> adult reconciliation

I know that's a metaphor within a metaphor, but I feel that's on brand for me.

Basically, when I start a draft, everything is joy, cuddles and sweet-smelling new everything. Then there's a bit of wrestling to get it to behave - the potty training phase - but then I settle into helping the book grow up, get smarter, stronger, bigger.

And then we hit the teen years. The teenage phase for the book is when it totally rebels. It drags bad company home. It smells terrible and is generally filthy in every way. It's recalcitrant, miserable to be around, and you begin to wonder if you should kill it and bury it in the back yard to spare society.

That's when I'm utterly convinced that the book is not only TERRIBLE, but the one that will destroy my career forever.

It's funny because, even though this crisis occurs with every book, it's no less a black moment for that. Even though I *know* this is part of the writing cycle - that I've gone through it before and emerged with a good book - each time I hit that crisis it feels new and especially true. I'll actually think (and my friends will point out) that I've gone through this before, that it's a natural part of the cycle and to just keep going - and then the panicked voice will take over and shout:

NOT THIS TIME! THIS TIME IS REALLY IT! THIS BOOK IS SO EXECRABLE THAT IT WILL NOT ONLY FLOP, IT WILL CONTAMINATE EVERYTHING ELSE I'VE EVER WRITTEN OR WILL WRITE AND DESTROY MY CAREER FOREVER.

It even shouts in all caps like that.

I don't know why this is. It's a deeply emotional, even existential doubt that overpowers all rational sense. Sometimes I think it's a test from the universe, a chasm of despair that must be crossed to prove that you want to create the thing badly enough to keep going.

And eventually, if I keep going, the teenager gets their hormones under control and leaves home. Later we can reestablish our relationship as adults, with mutual respect and understanding.

Speaking of which, I have the copy edits in hand for THE FATE OF THE TALA. Barring disaster, I should be able to finish those today, which means the book will be live on the website store by Wednesday at the latest, and then going live on the retailers after that!!

My copy editor called it "A triumph!" Just saying. :D

Getting unstuck when the muse lets you down

In the massive multiplayer online game Star Wars: The Old Republic, if you maneuver your character between boulders or buildings or something and get stuck, you can type in /stuck, and the game will magically transport you to a space where you can move your character freely again.

Writing? Sadly lacks that feature.

This week, our SFFseven topic is the one thing that helps us get unstuck in a story, but I'm going to adjust that topic a little. (Forgive me.) See, once I get going in a story, with a deadline in my pocket and a character arc in my head, I rarely get stuck. That point in the adventure is the sweet spot, the roller coaster at full speed. It's the between-story living that sticks me really hard. I'm talking about especially that stickiest of things: the will to write. Some folks call this the muse.

I've said I write because I can't not. Because I am a thing that writes. Because it's what I love to do. But, true confession: sometimes I'm not, and I don't. Sometimes I get stuck. Here are some things that have helped me, to varying degrees:

• Find the thing you love that isn't writing and do the crap out of it. Dance. Cook. Play games. Walk the dog. Reupholster your dining room chairs. 
• Read something other than the genre you write. When I read excellent books in my own subgenre, I inevitably get the "I can't do it this as well so why even try" blues. But if I read excellent books in another genre, like thriller or horror or literary meandering, I get energized and thoughts like, "This would be really cool if it also had robots. And kissing. Hey! I can make that happen!" And then ideas--and more importantly, enthusiasm--pour in.
• Develop go-to unsticking resources. A very wise and talented writer, Skyler White, has developed a game for getting unstuck. It involves identifying the sticky thing, turning it into a goal-positive, and coming up with ways you would be able to tell if it was getting less sticky. The preliminary documentation for this process is on her Facebook page, The Narrow Shed. I recommend it. A lot.
• Write fanfiction. I'm not even kidding. If you disdain the hobby, consider getting over that, because fic is the single best way to practice your art without the weight of "oh crap, I have to get this manuscript done and shop it and sell it and promote it and build a career with it." In fic you have no pressure. You can just make words. It is incredibly liberating.
• Find a friend who you trust, and who can handle this, and whine. Let that person whine back when they get stuck. Writing can be incredibly lonely, and most of us get low from time to time. But, quick protip: that trusted friend is not social media. Don't whine on social media. :)
• Be kind to you. You are worthy beyond the manuscript. Daily word count, reviews, sales, social media followers--these are not reflections on who you are as a person or, in many cases, as a writer. The pit of stuckness is easy enough to fall down without letting those outside things give you a push.

Hugs, you guys. We can get through all the stuck.