Does My Family read My Books? What Do you Think?

Not my family but they sure look like happy Readers! From DepositPhoto

My immediate family is extremely supportive of my writing, probably because I’ve literally been writing since any of them have known me. I first became published in January 2012 but that’s just one milestone on my lifelong need to tell my stories, starting at age 7.

My late husband and I met in the tenth grade. It was common knowledge among our friends that I wrote science fiction and he was always my biggest booster and champion. After we were married, he’d do whatever it took to carve out time for me to write in the evenings and on weekends (I had that demanding day job at NASA/JPL) although sadly when he died, I kind of put away the novel I was working on for a very long time and concentrated all my energy on being the single working mother of two very young children. He always read whatever I wrote and was maybe the only person I ever let read something while I was still writing it. As a general rule, I never let people read my works in progress. Ever.

My daughters read my books when the first draft is complete. They’ve just always known that “Mom writes” so it’s an accepted fact of our lives.

I’ll never forget the first time I gave them one of my novels to read, hot off the printer in the living room and years before I was published, and I’ll never forget how astounded they were that their mother had actually written all this. They were teenagers and sat up pretty much all night reading the book and really enjoyed it, which was so gratifying to me. My genres aren’t their preferred favorites but as I mentioned above, they read everything I write.

My brother is my extremely devoted fan and reads each book the moment they go up on Amazon after editing and formatting. He gives me a detailed review and critique which is only for my eyes and which I value so much since we grew up together in a house where my Dad loved science fiction and passed that joy of reading the genre onto us both.

My parents both passed away many years ago.

As far as my extended family, I believe they’re proud to have a published author in the family (because they’ve told me that numerous times and I have no reason to doubt them LOL) but no one is a particular fan of my genres. My closest cousin on my mother’s side sort of dutifully reads each new book and then gives them to the local library, which works for me! 

I once sent an assortment of the paperback books, both scifi and ancient Egyptian, to my godparents who are still alive, with an invitation to pass them along to any of my huge family of cousins on my Dad’s side who might be interested. The eventual, tactful response was that everyone had sampled at least one of the free books and congratulations again on being published but gee, no one here is a romance reader really.

And that’s perfectly fine.

People like the genres of books they like and at least everyone in that part of the family was open to sampling mine. (I think my aunt did say something about the story she sampled being a bit steamy for her, which is mildly hilarious because I write pretty middle of the road sex scenes but hey, she’s known me since I was a baby.)

I don’t write my books for my relatives, or my friends. I write the stories for me, to tell you the truth. Then I’m happy to put them out there in the world on the ebook platforms and thrilled that the books have found an audience of readers who do enjoy romance, science fiction and trips to ancient Egypt.

Here are just a few of my 20+ published titles, ranging from the first, Priestess of the Nile, to the most recent, Mateer, and a little bit of everything in between.

Who Reads Me

Happy Friday the 13th! Practice safe superstitions out there, people!

I am developing a new appreciation for sunrises since we moved. Maybe because I'm no longer stuck out on the western edge of the continent where sunrises were hidden by Crown Hill and I had unimpeded water and skies for sunsets. There is chatter now about moving us back to a water-based existence. I'll be interested in seeing what I get in the way of sky watching while on the water here.

This was Thursday morning. Not bad. Unless the red sky at morning sailor take warning screed is true. If it is, I'm screwed.

We're talking about family reading our books. The answer is yes. AFTER they are books. I know I sound like a broken record (also hush up with your 'what's a record' nonsense and then get off my lawn.) I'm super protective of work until it is fully formed. I hate critiques of something that's still gestating.

Let me be perfectly honest here - I have Second Guessing EVERY Damn Thing I Do disease. I don't watch the news because I don't need any help being depressed, I can do that myself, thanks. Very much like that, I can paralyze my writing process with 'Am I Doing This Right' questions without having external voices reinforcing those doubts. So I've learned to say no to all but a very few people (other authors) who I can trust to give me the straight scoop on how a piece of work is or isn't progressing.

And look. We all know that geeks are great, right? I mean I married one and he's a good guy. But he is, at heart, a programmer. This means that B must follow A and you do NOT take detours from B straight down the rabbit hole to Q. Thus, while I love him, I do not discuss my work with him until it's been turned over to the editor. And for all the gods, I do NOT TALK IDEAS WITH HIM. Never ever ever. I *think* it's Margie Lawson who tells the story about talking to her husband about story ideas and the angrier he gets, the more on track she knows she is. This is my life. You cannot talk to COBAL programmer about illogical and fluid story concepts. It's been hard experience for both us, because you know he'd ask what I was working on just to - you know - care about what I do.

We had to give it up. I think he's secretly pleased. But yes. He reads the books when they're published. Funny thing. He doesn't have a problem with them, then. My parents and my in-laws read the books. A bunch of my extended family read the first one, but I do not know whether any of them have read any further. I think they were mainly interested in making sure I actually had gone off and gotten published.

The only comment came from my mother. "Your main character sure does swear a lot."

I haven't had the heart to mention that I do, too. Leave the woman her illusions, right? ;)

But Does Your Wife Read Them?

So, when I met her, my wife was not a fantasy fan.  She literally did not know the conventions of the genre.  So often times, especially early on in my writing process, she couldn't make heads or tails of what I was doing.  What is this about?  Where is this city supposed to be?  Why do you have centuries of fake history?  Why don't you write something like One Hundred Years of Solitude?

Actually, as strange as that last one was, magical realism did prove to be the gateway toward some common ground.  She understood the rules of that genre, and through that I could show her how fantasy worked.

OK, there was also Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings as huge worldwide phenomenons.  That helped, too.

That isn't to say she doesn't read my work.  She definitely does.  But let's be real: she mostly does because it's mine.  She isn't seeking out the rest of the genre.

That said, she's more of a fan of short stories, and Jump the Black is probably her favorite.  She does nudge me, gently, to create a novel-length version of that story.

I think it's there.  I haven't found it all yet, but the novel length version exists.  It'll come.  I've got time.  And I've got someone to read it when it's done.

Dear Mom, Please don't read my books...yet.

Mom (upon learning that I’ve co-written a story that an actual publisher wants to actually publish): Can I read it?

Me: Er, I don’t think you’d like it.

Mom: It’s a romance. I like romances.

Me (silently: Oh, you sweet summer child) and aloud:  Actually, it’s more of a… scene. With three people. Who chat a bit in the parlor and then head upstairs to, uh, not chat. For twelve thousand words. Of nakedly not chatting.

Mom: Oh. Maybe the next one, then.

Hubs: Okay, so I’ve finished reading [the manuscript that eventually became Perfect Gravity – my second full-length novel].

Me: Uh oh, the ending fizzled, dinnit? It needs more guns blazing and cat hissing.

Hubs: No, that’s not what I was going to say at all.

Me: Wait, you and your fancy film degree and years making computer games weren’t going to give me constructive criticism that will definitely make me a better writer after I get over the initial navel-gazingly depressing realization that I’m not quite there yet?

Hubs: No. This one is good. Consider me a fan.

Me, having just received the biggest compliment of my life, sobs and kisses the shit out of that man.

My eldest child grabs a copy of my first-ever published-in-paper book.

Her: This is so cool, Mom. Can I read it?

Me (after slight hesitation for she is yet a Jedi youngling): Er, sure. Just, if you get to something confusing or weird, let’s talk about it, okay?

She cracks open the book and digs in. A couple of minutes later, she closes the book and sets it back in the box.

Her: I’m not allowed to read this book.

Me: Nonsense, I just told you—

Her (interrupting): Three. You have three swears on the first page, and two are the F-bomb. Mom, I’m not allowing myself to read it. And you need to watch your language.

So, to date three of the most important people in my universe have attempted to read my books. One actually made it all the way through. Hey, one of three ain’t… okay it’s a crappy percentage.

But someday I’ll write something without swears or sex.

(Stop laughing, you. I totally will.)

Cursed By Blood (to Read My Books)

Does my family read my books?

~slaps knee~

Dear readers, my father has been checking my homework since I started having homework. The greatest invention of my childhood was erasable ink. Who cared that erasing turned the entire page Smurf blue? I didn't have to re-write the whole tham ding just to correct a half dozen mistakes. Fast forward a few decades and yes, yes my father is still checking my homework. Only now he's the proofreader armed with Track Changes.

And if you think I can have one parent proofread and not the other, then well, pfft, tschtt, pfft. My mother is the avid fantasy reader. There is no bottom lip quiver quite like southern Mama's lip quiver when I send the digital version instead of the print version because--don't you know--it is so much easier for her to read and comment in print. That technology stuff is just too mean to her.

My sister was my CP for my romance books 'cause, as my very wise father once said, "There are some things daddies don't want to know." Since then, I've stopped writing romance, and my sister had my beloved niblings. Her schedule went from hectic to when-do-you-have-time-to-pee, so I don't ask for time she doesn't have to give. She's miffed that she's been removed from my process. It's ire I'll endure for the sake of her relative sanity. Once her children age out of the "Mommy-Mommy-Mommy" years into the "Ugh-Mom" stage, then I won't feel guilty about asking for her time. Until then, No Books For Her. Though, she not only buys them after they go on sale, she gives them as gifts, passes out promo cards, and is edging out my mom as my lead marketer. Her husband is also in on the Sell All The Books program.

Yes, dear reader, yes, it is awesome to be so well loved and supported by family. I am beyond blessed and incredibly grateful.

Does my family read my books?

Some of them do.

A few.

My family is...complicated.

My sister, who was the webmistress for my page for a long time, read all of my books. She still does, but I have to remember to send them to her

My other sisters? Well, I've given both of them copies. They keep promising to read.

My oldest brother? Yes.

My second oldest brother? We don't speak any more. My choice. So, no.

My parents are both deceased. My mother had a full collection of my books and told me she was proud of me, but never read them. She didn't like scary stuff. She read one short story of mine and it brought tears to her eyes and she loved it, but there was a ghost at the end and that rather annoyed her.

Two of my nephews do.

The others might. I don't honestly know.

To be fair, one of my sisters has been known to write erotica and I can't bring myself to read it. not my cup of tea.

The thing is, there's never an obligation. If they read it and enjoy it, I am delighted. If they choose not to read it, that's okay, too.  I used to give copies of all of my books to every family member. One of my siblings asked that i give copies of my books to a good friend. I suggested handing over the copies I'd already given to that sibling, especially since the books n question were limited editions that ran between forty-five and several hundred dollars in the secondary market. I am nowhere near that generous. I'd have to get a third job to pay the rent. Then I realized that most weren't reading the books and brought that practice to a screeching halt. Im good with offering copies to relatives that will READ them, but listen even if they were comp copies (and only some of them were.) you only get so many of those, and they can be put to better use than just gathering dust on a relative's shelf.

These days, I'm more likely to send a mobi file.

If they want to read the book that is.

Two of my limited edition covers. The top one, Bloodstained Oz, was selling for 7-800 dollars in the secondary market before we decided to put out an ebook format. That was for the numbered edition. The lettered edition (of which there are only 27) was selling fro closer to $3,000.00, The mind boggles.

Does Your Family Read Your Books?

We have high winds today and Jackson is feeling the fever - here he is trying to climb the portal post. Spoiler alert: that's as high as he got.

Our topic this week is whether our spouses or close family read our books. I always find it interesting how widely this answer varies among writers - from those who cowrite with spouses, or rely upon them or close family to critique, to those whose families don't even know they write.

Seriously - I have a friend who was a journalist and wrote - and shopped - his first novel in secret, even from his wife and kids, because he didn't want them to know about it if he failed. Which... I can understand. It's an excruciating phase, the one where writers labor for years to hone their craft, often over multiple novels or hundreds of stories, with nothing to demonstrate to the greater world for the effort. A lot of writers give up in this phase, or self-publish in order to have "something" to show for all that work. There are few questions more invidious than "Oh, you're *still* writing that book?"

At the other end are the couples where both are writers and exchange work, or who collaborate together. I think collaborating with a spouse would be trying, although the team writing as Ilona Andrews does it brilliantly. I'm still amused by Ilona's explanation that they don't really fight over the storylines, but one of them might "angrily load the dishwasher."

As for me, my husband David does not read what I write, pretty much ever. Sometimes he hears pieces of stories at readings. But, overall, he doesn't read fiction. I'm okay with this. I think our close families can exert strong influence on us, and not always in the way that encourages to grow.

I taught Tai Chi for a lot of years, including an introductory class in continuing education, and it was always a bad sign when spouses took the class together. Or parent and child. Or sisters. (I don't recall ever having brothers take a class together.) Inevitably, they would start telling the other how to do it. Usually it was framed as being "helpful," but it rarely was. It got so that in partner exercises we'd make it a rule that they couldn't work with someone they knew. This was entirely to pry apart the people who knew each other far too well - and got in each other's way.

So, I don't mind that David doesn't read my work. It gives me a certain freedom to have that headspace to myself. My mom reads my books, but only after they're published. Some other members of my family read them, but largely most of them don't. I'm okay with that, too. Everyone should read what they want to!

Planning Is Ants vs Grasshoppers For Me

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Do you remember the childhood fable about the grasshopper, who played all summer and didn’t think much beyond the next sip of dew or bite of berry? Versus the ants who diligently and constantly labored 24/7 to build stockpiles? And then in the winter guess who kicks back in a cozy burrow with lots to eat, versus who is outside shivering and scratching in the snow? (Where do grasshoppers go in the winter anyway?)

Well, the family joke around my house was that my late husband was the Ant, because he was a very long term thinker and we definitely followed the very wise plan he came up with, as far as his military service, our college, our careers, buying the first car, the first house, having the first baby, etc. This freed me to be myself – I think of myself as more of a cheery butterfly than a Grasshopper actually. I am NOT, in any circumstance, a planner or long term thinker.

When he died in an accident, I had to step up and do my best for the family. I managed to be what I truly am NOT, which is to say someone who plans. If I tell you 2018 is the only calendar in my house or that I access on my computer, you get the picture, right? (And I typically stay in the current month, other than to notate dental appointments.)

Now in the old day job at NASA/JPL, I was involved with schedules and planning for various interplanetary missions. Those suckers are HUGE. Thousands of steps. Millions maybe on the big flagship missions. The planet or planets you’re trying to hit will only be in the spot you need for a certain window of time so you have to start literally years beforehand and know every single thing, including contingencies for the unforeseen, that has to happen.  I didn’t develop such schedules but I have the utmost respect for those who can and do. I sat in probably hundreds of meetings where the discussion centered around the schedules and status. I had to give reports and take action items on my portions of those schedules.

The main thing I retained is the concept of the critical path, which is basically the sequence of tasks that will take the longest to complete to deliver the project. The critical path may change from time to time, based on other circumstances, but there always is going to be one. You can’t let yourself get distracted from keeping your eye on that path if you want to succeed.

Okay, so moving to the topic today, which deals with how you plan as an author, or how you plan future books while keeping up with current deadlines…do you hear me laughing? That is so not me! My critical path as an author is to write the books. Period. Full stop. Since I self-publish, any deadlines are my own and tend to be quite vague. “I’ll get this book out in April.” “I’d like to write four or five books this year.”

I had a taste of mixing self-pub and more traditional publishing back in my Carina Press days, and I have to say – lovely as they were to work with – I didn’t care for the experience. The idea of having a perfectly good book ready to publish that can’t be published for another six months or a year or whatever because it has to fit a publisher’s overall schedule gives me the most visceral reaction of NOOOOOO! I could never work as far in advance as Jeffe does, which she talked about in her post earlier this week. I admire what she does, but it’s not Butterfly Me.

I have lots of “tiny deadlines” but those are for my blog posts (“OMG is it Saturday again already???” Time for SFF7!) and other activities of that type. I do have a yearly schedule to work through with my friend Pauline B. Jones on our annual Pets In Space scifi romance anthologies (award winning and USA Today Best Selling, I might immodestly add).

And we've discussed many times in this space how I am superstitious about my writing process and my Muse and can't even do an outline or I won't write the book, much less know that I'm writing such-and-such a book in 2019 to publish in 2020!

So there you have it and now it’s time for me to flit off again. Have a great weekend!.

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