Something to Be Proud Of

In May of 1987, I put on a stupidly expensive evening gown that I'd bought (while still in high school) without any hope of ever getting to wear the thing. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you know I have a thing about wildly impractical gowns. Even though my day to day uniform consists of cut-offs, flip flops and a tee shirt, I'm all about every woman buying at least one such gown in her life. I wish I could tell you I'd limited it to one. What I can tell you is that in May of 1987 I finally had a legit reason to wear my silly evening gown out in public. (Yeah, sorry, I have a photo of it, but only that - it's not digitized. I wish. Frankly, it was over the top and slightly garish, but hey. It was the 80s. I was an artiste. O_o)

I got to wear it for a graduation ceremony that almost didn't get to take place.

It was the graduating class from Cornish College of the Arts. My class from the acting department was graduating ten people. Three years before, we'd started with twenty. Of those twenty, only eight remained (we'd gained a few along the way, too.) Attrition was a THING. An acting conservatory sounds like something that ought to be a walk in the park, doesn't it? It was three years of mentally, emotionally, and physically hard, hard work. Long hours. And lots and lots of digging around in your own emotional guts. For a lot of people, it got too hard and they turned away from it.

Yet even for those of us who dug into each challenge, our paths were not necessarily assured. Each year, we had to be invited back to the conservatory in order to continue studying there. We faced three hurdles, GPA, a professionalism score solicited from teachers and peers, and our final hurdle, a frank assessment by the teaching staff as to whether, in their opinion, we had a future in the craft. That last one came down to a yes/no vote. Clear all three and you got to enroll. Fail any one of them and you'd get a form letter explaining that your time at Cornish had come to an end. Don't call us, kid.

Between my junior and senior year at the conservatory, my stats were solid. Yet when my teachers voted on my potential, I split the staff. Half of them wanted me gone. The other half just as adamantly wanted me to stay. The director of the program declined to break the tie and none of the teachers could talk any of the other teachers into changing his or her vote. So, by the skin of my teeth, I got to stay and I got to graduate. I only knew about it because one of the teachers took me aside and told me about it, after. He also told me that the teachers who'd voted to keep me in the conservatory all cited the same reason. Sheer determination and stick-to-itiveness. He said that if success came down to never giving in, I had it in my teeth.

I'd had no idea that I'd made that impression on anyone - that I was determined (I was). I was disconcerted, and maybe a little defensive about nearly being kicked out, but I was also proud. It was another challenge that made me work all the harder that final year. And I was prouder still to get to graduate despite the doubts of half of my teachers.

This story plays directly into what I'm proudest of in my writing. I won't give up. I've stuck to it and will continue to. Slings, arrows, and outrageous fortune notwithstanding. I keep on keeping on. I have story gripped in my teeth, and I am that bull dog that will not let go. There's no graduating this time. And no one voting over my fate. Just me and the stories. Which in some ways is too bad. Because it means not getting to wear another silly evening gown in public.

I vote we create a writers tea somewhere fancy. White tie. Impractical evening gowns encouraged. We gather once a year to celebrate everyone who stuck with writing, no matter what. Determination. Stick-to-itiveness. That's something to be proud of.

Best Editor Sheila Gilbert

People, I'm so proud that the SFF Community has confirmed the thing that I've known for some time: that Sheila Gilbert at DAW is the BEST Editor.  She's now won the Hugo twice (and has been nominated six times), and she is hands-down amazing. 

Plus: CHECK OUT HER ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.

For real.  THE BEST.

Exile of the Seas - available for preorder!

"To say that Exile of the Seas exceeded my already high expectations would not do the book justice." ~Brenda Murphy, Writing While Distracted

Read an Excerpt

Around the shifting borders of the Twelve Kingdoms, trade and conflict, danger and adventure put every traveler on guard . . . but some have everything to lose.
 
ESCAPED
Once she was known as Jenna, Imperial Princess of Dasnaria, schooled in graceful dance and comely submission. Until the man her parents married her off to almost killed her with his brutality.

Now, all she knows is that the ship she’s boarded is bound away from her vicious homeland. The warrior woman aboard says Jenna’s skill in dancing might translate into a more lethal ability. Danu’s fighter priestesses will take her in, disguise her as one of their own—and allow her to keep her silence.

But it’s only a matter of time until Jenna’s monster of a husband hunts her down. Her best chance to stay hidden is to hire out as bodyguard to a caravan traveling to a far-off land, home to beasts and people so unfamiliar they seem like part of a fairy tale. But her supposed prowess in combat is a fraud. And sooner or later, Jenna’s flight will end in battle—or betrayal.

  Available September 04, 2018

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Proud of My Protags

Of what am I most proud in regards to my writing?

I am most proud of the protagonists I write. They're strong women who are flawed but not TDTL. They're decision makers who own their mistakes. They're brave without realizing anything less is an option. They're supportive even when they have nothing to gain. They are relatable...including the one who eats rocks and bleeds fire.

Yes, a lot of female protagonists have those traits these days, which is marvelous and inspirational because it shows the bar for female characters is being raised above the "usefulness to men" standard. More than the maid-mother-whore boxes they used to rattle around in, contemporary character-driven plots with women leading the story aren't about being worthy of dick. (Hell, there's an upsurge of protags who don't even like dick.) It's not to say that romance isn't important or of interest to these modern story-drivers; quite the contrary. Relationships and connections of all kinds are crucial. However, female protagonists are no longer servile lumps of moist clay; they're reaching through the pages to demand more. They're saying, "appreciate my awesomeness or GTFO."

When we're living in a real world where the leadership of the patriarchy is reducing women to the categories of beautiful, disgusting, or animal, it's good to have women leading stories who DNGAF.

If you want to know what makes my writing unique...well, I have a female protagonist who eats rocks. The weird just goes from there.

What Am I Most Proud Of When It Comes To My Writing?

That's about as easy to decide as it is to herd cats at a dog show.

So here's a top ten list, instead. Keep in mind that, as often is the case. Jeffe has beat me to a lot of what I might have said. he's just that good.


1) I am delighted and proud to have collaborated with some amazing people over the years of my career. Seriously. I have worked with a few truly amazing authors.

2) I am extremely proud of the fan letters I've received from people who were moved by my tales. From those who were terrified to those who were touched, I am flattered and humbled.

3) I'm beyond proud to have written in several shared universes. It's like playing in someone else's sandbox and being allowed to play with their toys.  From Aliens, to Hellboy, to Predator, to Clive Barker's Hellraiser and Nightbreed, I have been incredibly fortunate. That doesn't even touch on all of the roleplaying games I got to handle with White Wolf Games and Holistic Designs.

4) I'm proud of the fan art I've received over the years.

5) While I've seldom won an award I have been nominated for several prestigious awards. from the Stokers to the Gemmell and I a remain flattered and honored by each.

6) I'm proud, so proud of every writer I've come across who, for whatever insane reason, took my advice and ran with it and then actually came back and thanked me when they achieved their goals. A far as I'm concerned I offered nothing they couldn't have found on their pwn, but I am delighted for and proud of each and every one of them.

7) I feel a lot of pride when I look at the full list of novels I've had in print. I've been at this for a while now, and I am amazed by the fact that I've been published by many different houses over the years and the notion that I've got over forty-five novels and oen hundred titles titles to my name.

8) I'm proud of the fact that I remain in print.

9) I'm damned delighted to know that my works have been translated into over fifteen languages over the years.

10) I'm proud of the fact that I've done all of that without a college diploma to my name.

There you have it.

Being Proud of Being Different

I'm just back from #WorldCon76, which was a whirlwind of great stuff. I caught a moment of downtime at the lovely Fairmont pool, including a much-needed nap.

This week at the SFF Seven, we're asking "What are you most proud about with regards to your writing?"

It's an interesting question for me, coming out of WorldCon, which is the World Science Fiction convention. While there is some fantasy representation, the con is heavily focused on Science Fiction fandom. It's also an older institution and seems to attract a lot of the "purists" in the field.

SFF fandom can be weird that way, at least to me - and I often feel like an outsider. I sometimes joke that I'm an exoplanet. It's funny to me to discover that I'm as serious a Trekkie as any, though I never got involved in that community. And for me, coming from this blend of SFF and Romance, I'm not really what people who are solidly SSF expect.

And yeah, there's an ongoing perception of Romance Cooties. This one gal came by my autographing table and tried to explain how the romance tropes in Paranormal Romance just hit her all wrong. I explained that I don't write Paranormal Romance - and that it's quite different from Fantasy Romance - and she said "I know, but still."

There's a lot to unpack that way - about reader expectations, internalized misogyny, the perception that positive emotions are less important, that male-gaze sex and romance are fine but the female-gaze versions are "icky" - and none of that is all that relevant to this post. Except to say that it can be easy to from that kind of convention feeling "less than."

Really, any of us can find opportunities to feel that way, right?

Because, the next person to come up to my table said "I didn't know you'd be here or I would've brought all my copies of your books." Then she bought copies of all three that I had so I could sign them for her, and had me sign bookplates for the rest.

It's easy to focus on the negatives and forget the positives. I received a whole lot of positives at WorldCon. People saying I did a fantastic job on a panel, even that I was the best one on it. My fellow SFWA Board members taking time to say how much they appreciate my input on the board. Meetings with friends and fans who think I'm special.

I think that being proud of what we write takes constant reaffirmation. Like renewing vows in a marriage. I've known from the beginning that my choices would make my career more difficult. "Like wading through hip-deep snow," Catherine Asaro told me, way back before I published my first book. I could've tried to change this about myself - or at least about what I write.

I've repeatedly chosen not to. And I am proud of that.

While I'd love to have lines out the door like Seanan McGuire, I also don't want to write what she writes. I love to read her October Daye series. I don't want to write that.

So, what am I most proud of in my writing? I'm proud that I am writing the stories that I really want to tell. I've been called stubborn, but I think my tenacity has paid off and I've found an audience - one that's growing all the time. It's not easy to stand up to the pressure to fit in with the more mainstream, more successful stuff. I feel it in myself all the time. Every time someone says "Romance" with that eye-roll and sneer, I feel it. Every time someone wants to read my books and someone else warns them off because it's too sexy, I feel that pressure to change.

That's part of creating art, whatever kind beckons to us. Creating means bringing something into the world that wasn't there before - so sometimes people don't recognize right away. Or only some do.

And that's okay, too.

When Your Deadline Involves Chasing a Planet

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When you’ve spent millions of dollars building a robot rover to explore Mars and the planets will only be in the right alignment to launch during one small window of time every two years, now THAT is a deadline not to be missed.

If you saw the movie 'The Martian,' you'll recall all the conversation and tension around the launch windows and when supplies could be sent and when a rescue mission could be sent...

I supported the business aspects of various real life Mars missions and other projects at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory during my career there and trust me, the project planning at JPL is intricate and leaves nothing to chance, even building in slack time to handle those unforeseen glitches and gremlins that always arise when trying to do complicated one time trips to other planets. There were literally thousands, if not millions of interim ‘due dates’ in the project plan prior to the actual preferred launch date.

Including dates for all the reviews and other meetings needed to keep an eye on the schedule.

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Do I apply all that rigor to my own career as a self-published author? Not really. I still break big jobs into smaller deliverables and keep an eye on my critical path…yeah, and I also still speak the project language, as you can see. I track my deadlines on my Outlook calendar and on a handwritten weekly To Do List that is constantly changing, evolving, scribbled upon and reviewed. (I need that tactile feedback of crossing things off and eventually crumpling up the paper and throwing it away to start a fresh list.) I HATE missing a deadline or causing others to do hurry up work to accommodate my not building in enough slack time.

Bu this applies to the posts I write for USA Today/HEA, AMAZING STORIES and other platforms, including this lovely, well built, friendly gathering spot.

When it comes to my own novels, I have a really rough editorial calendar sketched out, about a year ahead, to make myself see one cannot perform three actions simultaneously, there are not more than twenty four hours in a day and yes, I need to sleep. So that means I CANNOT expect to get the next novel in my bestselling Badari Warriors series released while also completing another ancient Egyptian paranormal romance, much less also writing the long awaited sequel to my one fantasy romance. Not in the same 30-40 days. And my editor has an iron clad thirty days to go over each of my manuscripts and she can’t edit three of them simultaneously either.

I have a bad habit of ‘magical thinking,’ which Wikipedia defines thusly:  the belief that one's thoughts by themselves can bring about effects in the world or that thinking something corresponds with doing it. So I like to believe I can do three things at once!

At least as a self-published author, I’ll never miss any contractually required deadlines. I just have to ensure the flow of words and books keeps going on a regular enough basis to meet that other hard and fast deadline – paying the rent!

The Deadline We All Face

There's precious little I can say about deadlines that hasn't been said already, and I'm going to hush up in observance of the Queen of Soul's passing.

I will note that there's one deadline we all face and it's non-negotiable. So if there's something that matters to you, you'd better get on it because the world needs whatever it is you have to offer.

I leave you with an article (with a  link to the performance audio) about Aretha Franklin singing opera - something I somehow missed. Had actual operas been sung a little more freely, I think I'd have been a much bigger fan. Modern operatic style leaves me cold. This performance didn't. It gave me goose bumps.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/la-et-ms-aretha-franklin-grammy-awards-nessun-dorma-20180816-story.html