Three Traits of Jeffe's Kind of Male Protagonist

 I'm teaching a worldbuilding master class in Portland, Oregon on August 4, if you're in the area or want to be! Check out the Willamette Writers Conference here. 

This week at the SFF Seven, we're talking about writing male protagonists and how to avoid creating an "alphahole." For those not in the know, an alphahole is an ostensibly alpha male who is actually an asshole, or is perceived as an asshole by the reader. This is a more complex issue than it seems on the surface. The alpha male hero is a popular trope, particularly in Romance, but in other genres, too. The alpha male is a leader, bold, confident, a protector. In some ways, he is often the idealized male. Some readers don't like this trope or have greater sensitivity to certain aspects of the typical characterizations. 

I tend not to take this too seriously. Personally, I like my alpha male heroes like I like my fiction: no relationship to reality required. 

That said, I don't really write alpha males very often, largely because my books almost always center the female protagonist and her journey to complete the quest, etc. The classic alpha male hero doesn't intersect well with that kind of arc. Though I do love to have two strong, determined leaders butt heads and find common ground in love, learning to lead together. 

Three traits of a guy like that?

1. Enough self-confidence not to be threatened by a competent woman.
2. Secure in his masculinity so he doesn't need to "prove" it to anyone.
3. Integrity and compassion that allow him to adhere to his principles and lead with care for his followers.

The Hero's Three Cs

 This Week's Topic: Writing Better Heroes -- 3 Traits of a Non-Alpha-Hole Hero

Oh, how I loves me a capable, confident, and compassionate hero. 

Wow, that's the shortest post I've written. 

Maybe I should elaborate.

The Capable Hero: This guy (and it's just a guy for the purpose of this post, the hero's gender could be female as easily as it could be fluid) has his own thing. His own specialty. He's earned his bones; he's gone through the wringer, screwed up, and learned from it all to excel. Others consider him an expert in his field (whether he considers himself one is a flexible point). Though, if he's not an expert, then he's got the passion and humility to learn that makes up for his lack of knowledge and experience. Now, this hero isn't an ace in every field because that would make him boring, but what he knows, he knows. 

The Confident Hero: Confident not Arrogant. He shows his ability rather than boasting of it. He knows he's capable but doesn't need the adulation of others. He demonstrates respect for himself and others (albeit only others who haven't given him a reason to lose his respect for them, those guys he quashes beautifully). He's not competing with his partner for one-upsies nor is he attempting to fill in as a father figure. He may exude a dominant aura but he's not domineering. He's as equally content to lend a supporting hand as he is to lead the whole affair. He's good with letting others have the spotlight, but if it shines on him, he handles it gracefully and remembers to share it with those who helped him. 

The Compassionate Hero: More often than not, this guy knows when to step back and when to step up. He's a classic protector stereotype without the narrow mind. He handily checks his ego to let others have their moment just as readily as he cares for the wounded comrade, the lost dog, and the elderly. Most importantly, this hero offers support, both emotional and physical, to his partner when it's obvious they need it and when it doesn't seem like it. He understands the value of respect and how allowing dignity can be priceless.

As you can see, the Three Cs of a great hero borrow attributes from each trait and build on each other.  No Alpha-holes here. 

Writing Resources and Tools

 

The photo is from a park in Fremont, WA. They'[re tucked into a place you could all too easily miss them and that's what delights me about them - that they're there patiently waiting to be noticed.

Writing tools haven't changed for me for years now. I've found a cluster of reliable solutions that work for me. And maybe, after all this time of trying to find the one Right thing that would suddenly make writing easy for me, I've learned that no tool on this earth is going to change how or whether I write. That's on me entirely. As a result, I've stopped looking for the next great thing. AI turned out to be a fun little toy for about three weeks, then it, too, went by the wayside. Thus, I've come to say that I don't think tools matter much. How you get words on paper isn't nearly as important as the fact that you do. Sure, a computer, a word processor of some kind, and an internet connection make a writer's life a lot easier, but strictly speaking a paper and pencil is all that's necessary. (Side note: Do you know why you should always write in pencil and not pen for long works? Ink runs. Spill the slightest moisture on your handwritten pages and you lose your content if it's written in ink. Graphite won't fade or run in water. Courtesy of a bit of time as a yeoman for a Sea Scout ship.)

The only item I have to recommend is the only thing I've added to my writing toolbox this year: mentorship. Not entirely because I need training, though there's always something to learn, I need a bit of bolstering these days. Day job, complicated and drama-filled family situation, and general feelings of overwhelm have utterly sapped my ability to produce. I'd lost some of my why. So I approached Jeffe about joining her Patreon group for company and accountability. Already, the group has been a morale boost. It's helpful, too, to know there are others out there writing at the same time I am and getting to offer one another support.

It's okay to not be okay. It's better to remember to ask for help and then accept it and act on it. These things don't sound like tools because our society does a terrible job of setting us up with healthy coping skills. Asking for just enough help so you can do what matters to you is absolutely a tool. Whether you can hold it in your hand or not.

Useful Writing Tools!

As I worked through my writing session this morning I kept wondering what is the most useful resource I have for writing? 

Jeffe’s post yesterday named ourselves as the most important piece. And I absolutely love that. It’s so true because if you don’t take care of yourself your well will run dry and you won’t be able to create. 

But I can’t be redundant, right? Even when it’s a really good point. 

So let’s say you’re taking care of yourself. You’re feeling good. The writing vibe is strong. You’re typing along and then—[fill in word here]. You need a synonym, or you need the word to describe a specific piece of something, you need—the Thesaurus. 

I have the Thesaurus bookmarked and yes, I went to it nigh two dozen times this morning alone. I’m a stickler for not using the same description on the same page. But how do I know what paragraph will end up on which page? Great point! So I aim for no repeats within 350 words. 

All that means is I love the thesaurus. Do I go overboard and find archaic words nobody will understand? Maybe. Did I attempt to avoid repeating Jeffe's pick for most useful writing resource only to nearly mimic KAK's? Definitely. But what's a thesaurus without a good dictionary?!

How about you? What’s your most used writing tool?

The Most Important Writing Resource: You

A new local bookstore, Purple Fern Books, has a lovely display of my books.

This week at the SFF Seven we're asking: What is the most useful resource you have for writing?

Usually with this sort of topic, we talk about reference materials or computer programs. I think this time I'll riff on last week's topic, which included an array of really good advice on self-care and avoiding burnout. I'm thinking about this because one of my Unpopular Opinions is that writers really don't need Stuff. It's one of the lowest overhead creative enterprises there is. Yeah, okay, to submit or publish work, a writer needs access to a computer at some point. That's the world we live in. But no writer actually NEEDS a fancy program or reference books or, or, or...

There are only two necessary resources for writing: a way to put the words down and ourselves.

I mention this because, in our quest for great tools, we tend to forget that WE are the critical component in the equation, the limiting reagent in the magical, chemical reaction that is bringing a book into the world. And yet we don't always treat ourselves as the treasure we are. Imagine if you had a laptop as expensive as the single-use body and brain you were gifted with. How much would you baby that laptop? Do you treat yourself that well?

I think my most useful resource is a rested body and quiet mind. Do I always go the lengths I should to make sure I'm running at top operating condition? Not always - but I try. I often get in bed around 8 or 8:30pm, if I'm sleepy enough, because getting plenty of sleep is key for my ability to sustainably create. Do people sometimes think I'm weird and crazy for doing that? Yep. Do I care? Nope. It's easy to let other people push and pull us to suit their ideas of how we should be, but we are the only ones who know what we truly need. Treat yourself as that expensive, delicate, and precious resource that is most important for your writing and see what happens. 

Most Useful Writing Resource Isn't a Surprise

 This Week's Topic: What's the most useful resource I have for writing?

Is it too glib to say it's Merriam-Webster Online? Believe it or not, I'm not being cheeky when I say a dictionary is my best writing buddy EVAR erm, EVER! A significant portion of my vocabulary is built upon words I've read, whose meanings I've derived from contextual clues, which means there's a chance, a wee bit more than a tiny bit of a chance, that what I thought that word meant ... is not what it means. D'oh! I've given my line editors and copyeditors fits of giggles with my, let's call 'em "curious," word choices. Fortunately, my editors are professionals who use an MW link to suggest a better word for what I clearly meant. (I wouldn't be surprised if I've gone down infamy in their private circles. I'd totally deserve it for some of my slipups.)

Then, there's the great conundrum of "is that one word or two?" 

Hyphenated when it's the adjective but not the noun? 

Homophones will be the death of me.

Contronyms: fun for the writer, annoying for the reader.

That's the British spelling, not the American.

Starts with E, no, I, no E? Whadda ya mean either is an option??

Spellcheck, grammar check, and even AI can't save me from screwing up words. A bail isn't a bale. A slip up is a slip-up unless it's a slipup. There are so many shades of gray and grey that culling them takes time. It's all rather grizzly, or is that grisly? Yep, as an author, a robust, queryable dictionary is my most useful resource. Though, my copyeditor comes a close second. 😇

The Way Out of the Wasteland

 

This handsome dude is looking for his forever human and home. And this totally has something to do with our topic this week. You see. I write my blog posts on Thursday evening for publication on Friday morning. But this man. He had his neuter surgery Thursday. When I picked him up and got him in the car to come home, he went into respiratory distress. Our regular vet was closing down and they'd already sent techs home. So off we hied to the local urgent care veterinary place. An insane amount of money later, we discover that Ramases has pneumonia. Initially, they diagnosed it as aspiration pneumonia, which is dreadful, awful stuff. The urgent care vet wanted the cat hospitalized, so they transferred us to an emergency hospital nearby. We go there. That vet disagrees with the treatment plan and long story short, we get out of there at half past midnight with sick cat in tow. I'm operating on three hours of sleep. 

Drama over the 4th of July holiday has upended my current living arrangement. The ripples on that are slowly building to a tidal wave that I suspect will mean everyone packs up and moves. But in the meantime, HERE have an overdose of uncertainty! 

Whether it's my brain or whether it's rational to feel this way, I'd like to say everything's on fire.

I used to think these were things that needed to be recovered from - as if writing were something that needed to be held in reserve for when conditions were just right. I still suffer from this because I know a little about how my brain works best. But I am starting to realize that 'best' is an unobtainable ideal. All of these events in my life that make me feel like I'm going to explode, pack the cats into a car, change my name, drive into the middle of nowhere, and buy a house for under $200k to live in peaceful obscurity aren't one off events. They're life. My life. There is no calmer. There is no 'when stuff settles down'. This is it. It takes an act of radical acceptance to digest that realization. Then all that remains is to ask whether writing in the midst of all that life makes everything better or worse.

For me, the answer is better. I made writing my retreat - the little hit of dessert you sneak when you think no one is watching. It gives me energy and helps keep me sane. Because it keeps me saner than I would otherwise be, most of my family are invested in leaving me alone while I write. Sometimes. But this reframe isn't necessarily enough to refill an empty well. Silence, technology fasts, sensory walks (where you walk slowly and rotate through observation - what do I hear, what do I smell, what do I taste, what do I feel on my skin, what do I feel internally, what do I see) and any thing else that generates energy for you will help. Maybe you cook the world's hottest chili. Or you build model ghost ships inside bottles. If they make you feel better for having done them, they fill the well. Rescuing gives me energy when I finally match a cat like Ramases to his forever person. So hey. Anyone in FL or neighboring states what a handsome, sweet, spotted tabby who drools when he's happy (and he's happiest when you're petting him and giving chin rubs). I'll even deliver. 

I think the important bit is to know what's important to you. Writing takes a toll. Rest and breaks are necessary. We tear up a lot of cognitive and emotional ground while writing - but it's *different* mental and emotional ground than our life dramas. Leverage that while recognizing that eventually, all those synapses need rest and that rest will not be rushed.

Burnout

Have you been staring at your blinking cursor, wondering how you’re going to fill the page? Have you been sitting down to write only to find yourself doing the dishes or scrolling your socials? Have you been experiencing burnout?

There are numerous ways burnout hits. Which also means there’s a lot of options to work through it—yay! But none of it’s easy–boo. 

I’ve been through burnout, I wrote about it here. And the most important takeaway I can share is that you have to be able to give yourself grace. If you can’t write. It’s okay. If you can’t focus and lose every writing minute you had in the day. It’s okay. If you couldn’t bring yourself to even open your WIP. It’s okay. 

Give yourself grace and avoid piling on the guilt. In my experience, guilt adds to the burnout. Refilling the well takes time, if you don’t have time and are on a deadline check out Jeffe’s post from yesterday. 

How do I take care of my writer self? Surrounding myself in nature refills my well. So does being creative in any way that isn’t writing. When burnout is really depression in disguise, it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone.