Stressing the Negative Reviews

Negative reviews. If we haven't yet gotten them, we soon will. All of us. Authors, singers, actors, painters, cooks, mechanics - every one who does anything ever will be subject to critique and criticism. The trick is to laugh it off and not let it bother you. If your palms sweat and your heart races at the words of someone who has consumed what you've created, if you read those words and feel your soul shrivel, don't read reviews. I'm not kidding. Reviews aren't for the creator of a thing, anyway. Let me attempt to impose order on my disorganized thinking:

The question as it was posed suggests that one of my peers struggles with a heightened stress response when a negative review comes in. I'll start by saying this is normal. This is expected. STOP READING YOUR REVIEWS. Not because you're having a stress response, though this advice will help lower your cortisol level, honest.

Reviews are coded messages that don't come with decoder rings. They're also not meant for the author. They're meant for other readers. I'll start with the last one first. Reviews by readers and official reviewers are meant to help readers find books. They're to help readers find your book in particular and let them know that you don't kill the dog that shows up on page 112. Reviews are to help readers decide if the trigger/content warnings in your book are something they can handle. Is it true you're going to get some snobby git who questions your intelligence, sneers at your story, and awards you a single star? Yes. Ask me how I know. But it's also true that the person who wrote that review already bought your book and paid you in money, time, and energy for the privilege of taking a swipe at you. If that stresses you out, work that stress off by walking that check to the bank. Seriously. Don't read your reviews. What's the point? The book is done. It's released. You've set it free into the world. It isn't yours any more. It belongs to the audience now. (Barring obvious glitches and techie errors, obviously - I have fixed things that changed a story based on realizing I'd made a pretty big narrative mistake.) If looking at reviews is a problem for you, get another author friend to read them before you see them and remove the snarkiest. What are author friends for?

The decoder ring comment. In my experience, rarely do negative reviews mean what they say. The one star review I got on an award-winning novel went something like: "I don't know why everyone is giving this book 5 stars. It's nothing new or interesting." Sounds like a negative review, doesn't it? Except there's a message hidden in that terse little slap at my wrist. That coded message is "I had a book like this in my head but not the courage to write it. How dare you." How do I know this? Well. Factually, I don't. But when I read the original comment, I can almost hear the dismissive sniff. Then that 'nothing new or interesting' jab suggests the reviewer does have an idea that's new and interesting along the lines of what I'd written and had published. Once you begin seeing the misery and recrimination underneath negative reviews, it's easier to laugh them off.

As a bonus, let's get tight on a definition of a negative review. What is a negative review? Too few stars? Someone pointing out problems in the story or hating on a character? I'd argue that if a reader writes a review that you can act on - someone says your heroine's eyes were green on page 3 and then they were blue on page 85 - you can find that in the text and fix it. If the critique is actionable like that, it's not a negative review. That reader helped you. Thank them and move on. You'll develop a loyal reader that way. If a review is vague and whiny 'the author can't write their way out of a wet  paper bag' - well that review is useless, isn't it? Any time you see insulting statements without any constructive critique attached, you know you're dealing with jealousy. Bright, blazing, bitter green jealousy. And if someone is jealous, they want what you have. Doesn't sound like they really think your writing is all that bad, does it?

So to manage the stress of negative reviews, simply don't engage. Your sanity and your muse will thank you.

Bad Reviews and Rejections

 

Is there anything worse than seeing that dreaded one star review appear below your book? Or get that dreaded “No” in the mail? 

For authors, I don’t think there are many things that are worse than rejection. We spend months or maybe even years on our manuscripts, polish them up, read them countless times, put beautiful covers on them and send them out into the world. 

And then...

We wait. For some authors, the wait is short. For others, it is excruciatingly long. 

Seconds slip by into minutes, which somehow become days. And then, it happens. 

Someone, somewhere in the world, has read the book. And they decided it just wasn’t for them. 

It has taken me a long time to realize that part of being an author is recognizing that not everyone is going to appreciate or enjoy our art. That’s just the way it is. Art is subjective, and no matter what we write, it won’t make everyone happy. 

Still, knowing that we will receive bad reviews is very different from actually experiencing the reality of someone taking the work we’ve spent countless hours on, and saying it is garbage. I wish I could tell you that as an author, you won’t ever get a bad review or a rejection. But I’d be lying to you. The terrible truth is, you will. We all will. I have, and I will again. 

How we choose to cope with them is up to us. 

First, let me say this: Never, ever engage reviewers. 

Especially not bad reviews. It will never end well. 

This is the golden rule. 

Do not engage reviewers. 

Reviews are not for authors. They are for readers. I know that sometimes we get a bad review that makes us itch and we want to say, “But wait! That’s wrong! You just didn’t understand ____.” 

But believe me. Any type of answer is the wrong one. You can, and probably will, make the situation far worse by replying to the reviewer. Don’t do it. Do not engage them. 

Just don’t. Please. If you take nothing else away from this, take that with you. Don’t reply to reviews. They aren’t meant to be personal, and they are almost always directed at the work, not the author. 

Remember this: whether it was a bad review or a rejection, it means your art was not a good fit with that particular reader. It doesn’t mean it was bad. It just wasn’t the right fit. 

When we get that one star review or that rejection (God forbid they show up on the same day), we have a choice to make. Are we going to let this rule our lives and destroy our productivity for the day (I’ve definitely done this), or are we going to try to be adults about it? 

While I’ve been guilty of choosing option A, there are much better and more productive ways to tackle bad reviews and rejections. Here are a few things that I personally find helpful. 

Of course, the easiest thing to do would be to not ever look at reviews. Right? That would make sense. If you don’t see them, you don’t have to do that. If you are able to do that, I applaud you. 

If you’re anything like me, however, common sense falls to the wayside when you want to see what people are saying about your book. In that case, read on, fellow author. 

1. Cuss a little. There are no rules saying you can’t do this. In fact, I find it helps. Get it out of your system. In private. Without anyone watching. Call the reviewer all the bad names you want and walk away. Take a break. Give yourself time to heal. 
2. Since you’ve already gone ahead and looked at reviews, take a look at some of those good ones. Copy them. Print them out. Frame them. Just because your work wasn’t the right fit for that dreaded one star reviewer doesn’t mean it’s bad. Other people probably think it’s amazing! Take that to heart. 
3. If you really need to write something out in response, do it on a piece of paper and then burn it. Don’t let that response see the light of day. But get it out of your system. 
4. Go look up your favorite book on amazon and read some of their one star reviews. Every book has them, it’s just a matter of time. 
5. Remember why you write. Everyone’s story is a little different, but we all have that reason. Let that be the driving force behind everything you do. Let it push you. 

And then—and this is the really important part—dust yourself off. Get back on the proverbial horse. 

Don’t let a bad review or a rejection stop you from pursuing your dream. Let it be a learning experience and grow from it. 

You are stronger than a bad review or a rejection. 

Happy writing, friends! 

Elayna R. Gallea is an author of young adult dystopian novels and new adult fantasy romance novels. She lives in beautiful New Brunswick, Canada with her husband and two kids. She is an avid true-crime lover, and in her spare time, she eats copious amounts of chocolate and cheese. If Elayna isn't reading and writing, she can probably be found watching The Food Network. Elayna and her husband have dogs and cats and enjoy touring their beautiful province whenever they can.

You can find her at: https://www.elaynargallea.com/

Reviews, Rejections, and Other Opinions

You want to know how I handle rejections, critical reviews, and other opinions? The facial expression of this photo of me in Ireland (at a 14th century monastery ruin) pretty much covers it. "Whaddya mean NO?"

Yes. You're going to get a lot of Ireland photos for the next couple of weeks cause I came home with 200+ and frankly, there's jack all to take photos of around here in the sweltering heat where everything and everyone is just melted. 

Listen. I don't know what it is about my make up - or my particular mental dysfunction - but most of the time, rejection and shitty reviews don't get me down. I've got a mental filing system for rejections and bitey reviews. 

First file: Crooked photocopy rejections and rubber band rejections. These are the easiest to blow off. They're meaningless rejections. These are the ones that come in so fast or so anonymously that it's obvious no one read my material. These aren't rejections. These are cries for help. Whoever sent them is so overwhelmed, they've closed to submissions without saying they closed to submissions. No problem. That's not really a rejection. They never even looked at the baby to tell me it's ugly.

Second file: Whiny one stars. These are the reviews people leave on a book that make me laugh and/or wonder aloud if they actually read the book I wrote. The second cousin to that review is the one star that whines 'man, this is nothing new or interesting why does everyone else like it?' Both of these reviews say more about the people leaving them than they do about my writing or story. Again. Easy to blow off (or leverage for a reverse psychology advertising campaign in you're into that sort of thing.) The first one is pitiable and the second is whining because their 'nothing new or interesting why does everyone like it' cry is code for 'I had an idea like this! How dare you write it!' Ask me how I know that and I'll show you the story I started in 8th grade (and never finished) that sounds a whole lot like the movie ET that came out a few years later and was a far better story anyway.

Third file: Rejection with cause. Critical reviews with specifics. NOW we're getting into the daggers to the heart. These rejections and reviews come from editors/readers who obviously read my work and read it thoughtfully. They've identified problems or issues I failed to address or that I hoped no one would catch. Occasionally, someone will catch something I was entirely blind to in a story. I'm pissy about the first and grateful for the second. I get het up about having issues and problem identified *when I knew about the issues and ignored them* - but note. I'm not mad at the person who called me out. I'm mad at me for thinking I could get away with it. Dumb move, author. For the people who call out issues I didn't see, I still get mad at me for not seeing it, but I'm grateful to having my eyes opened to it so I can fix it. It's possible I give myself a 24 hour pity party after it all hits before I have to adult up and fix my mess.

Fourth file: This one stings, y'all. This is BIG pain. Rewrite on spec and STILL get a reject. Not winning contests when a story finals goes in this folder, too. This one is when an editor asks for revisions on spec - they're asking for work with no guarantee that they'll acquire when that work is done. Of course I have to take the chance. I'm going to invest that time and that energy knowing that it may still not be good enough. It's that sunk cost that hurts when I feel like I got SO close (both in edits and in a contest) only to have what feels like the prize yanked from my fingers at the last second. Of course the 'prize', whether statue or contract, was never mine to begin with, but dang if my fingertips didn't brush if just for a second. The other tough aspect here is that when a rejection finally comes or a book doesn't win a content, there's no why. Typically, the editor won't go into reasons why the rewrite didn't hit the mark. They just say, 'not going to work for us. Good luck.' and contents say nothing at all. That twists the rejection knife becuase there's no clear action I could take to make my writing better. Again, I'm allowed to sulk like I'm three. But only for so long. Then to get past this, I have to turn my eye and my thoughts to what's next - the next goal, the next target, the next whatever it is. 

I suspect, for me, that having a new goal to move toward is the secret to recovering from rejection. I need activity - some new shiny to chase. I do have to give myself space to wallow in messy reaction. Based on my brain, I know that I have to sit with something emotionally loaded for 24 hours before the gears will shift. When those gears shift, ideas start rolling. The 'what if' thinking starts up - it's like having a relentless five-year-old in my head throwing "What if this happened? What if that happened? What if we . . .?" At that point, I'm not longer focused on the rejection. I'm focused on solution. Which may include getting spiteful and saying, "Fine. Your loss. I'll self-puh."