Telling vs. showing – when is narrative exposition necessary?

 

Ah, the old “telling versus showing” debate. My pet peeve in terms of feedback because it's often lazy feedback. You can point to any book and identify “telling”, because, well, if we were to show EVERYTHING, we'd be here for decades. We’d have to invent unnecessary situations so our characters can experience things (or add endless dream, vision, or flashback scenes) rather than just saying, "King Tella and Queen Showa's feud had lasted over a decade, ever since the Queen had stolen the King's favorite courtesan." Do you really want me to show this? Because that's a story in its own right … a juicy one at that.

Granted, pages of exposition are often tedious and confusing. Some fantasies start with a whole section of weighty exposition setting out the lore and history of the world, and on more than one occasion, it’s put me off to such a great degree, I’ve given up on the book altogether. Some people love it, but it’s not my jam. I’m more of a throw-me-in-at-the-deep-end-and-explain-stuff-along-the-way kinda gal.

And as part of that, I love a bit of timely exposition, which in fantasy worlds especially, is essential. Readers may need to know that gravity doesn't work the same way in the Sky Kingdom – even if the characters aren’t there right now – or that there are seven gods, or that the magic fled the kingdoms along with the dragons.

I often find this makes the first half of the first book in many fantasy stories feel slow, because of the necessity of creating depth in the world. There’s a lot the reader NEEDS to understand, and showing everything is neither practical nor entertaining. Exposition is the solution – so long as it doesn’t drag and become boring – although hey, we've all done it. No one's perfect. 

A single line of exposition can pack a big punch. For example, “Marcus couldn’t tell if the damnable Alexander had used magic, because he hadn’t paid attention during his five years at the Sparkle Academy for the Magically Talented.” This single line tells us magic exists, the world has at least one magical school, that Marcus thinks Alexander is damnable (ooh, tell me why?), that Alexander and Marcus both have some level of magical abilities, and that Marcus can’t use his effectively, because he didn’t pay attention in school. Is he a bad-boy rebel? Was he saving the world on the side? Distracted by a love interest? Or did the backwards education system simply leave him behind?

The point being, exposition isn’t only there for understanding and worldbuilding, it can drive intrigue as well as helping to build emotional connections between readers and characters. 

Character introspection (when we hear a character’s private thoughts) is also a form of exposition, yet seems to have largely escaped the "telling versus showing" criticism. Characters’ thoughts are often my favorite things to read, because a single line can color my entire outlook on a character and all their actions, not to mention, cast the actions of others in an entirely new light. Perspective is everything, after all.

Again, most things are good in moderation. Telling isn't necessarily bad, but the criticism “telling versus showing” has become something of a cliche. I wish people would instead say why this was annoying to them. Was the exposition too long? Confusing? Unnecessary? Did it take them out of the moment?

There is no right or wrong way to write a book, there is only what is conventional and what is popular, which you may or may not enjoy. No one's word is law, our tastes differ, and thus, there is no perfect amount of exposition. Some readers like to have everything laid out on a platter up front, others enjoy not understanding everything right away, viewing finding out as part of the fun. And neither of these preferences is better than the other, it is just that, a preference. But if I were making the rules, I would ban the criticism "telling versus showing" because, well yes, sometimes exposition is not only practical, but desirable. Surely it’s about balance, as in all things.

HR Moore writes escapist fantasy with dangerous politics and swoon-worthy romance. She’s known for pacy writing, plot twists, and heroines who take no prisoners … and she loves a cliffhanger. HR also started FaRoFeb (Fantasy Romance February), a community for readers and authors to elevate and celebrate the fantasy romance genre. 

You can connect with HR Moore here: https://linktr.ee/hrmoore

Show and Tell Short Hand

Totally off topic, I'm going to brag for a minute. This handsome man with the nearly opposable thumbs is Hemingway, the neighborhood feral. He found me shortly after I moved in. I established a feeding station for him and all was well until  he showed up limping. After a lot of blood (mine), tears, and hoping, and wishing, I got him healed up. I also managed to convince him that he might be a great big marshmallow underneath that tough feral exterior. Last weekend, I delivered him to his HEA - his forever family. Hell of a delivery trip. They're in Erie, PA. You'll note I am not. As I was completing the trip home, his new family texted to say they were sitting with him and petting his belly. I think he's turned in his feral card. 

I'm grateful for the gift of his trust and for his new family. I'm also going to miss him.
 

 

 Show versus Tell. 

It confused me for years. Which one should I use when? Sure, I heard the advice about showing deepening character POV. It didn't click for me until someone suggested I draft everything in first person. That did the trick. It became obvious that immersing myself into the story and the character with a simple "I" brought the world, the other people in that world, and the reactions into much better focus. It became easier to understand that my characters needed to describe what they saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and felt. It helped, but didn't entirely eliminate, major POV violations where my characters assign meaning or motive to someone that they couldn't possibly know without being psychic.

Tell Example: He saw a tree.

Show Example: Cool shadow punctuated by glints of sunlight painted the ground beneath the limbs of the oak into a patchwork quilt of fallen leaves, acorns, and sticks. This passage tells you a little about the character who's taking in all of that detail. Could be someone looking for a shady spot to rest. Could be a squirrel hunting nuts for a winter food stash. Regardless, you probably see that scene. You may feel something from it. 

Lovely, Marcella, but this doesn't address when to use one and when to use the other. Not to worry. I got you. I think.

Showing is for deepening reader connection with your characters and your story. It's for pointing up what's important to the character and to the plot. The detail inherent in showing offers your readers hints about what they should pay attention to - this is where red herrings go if you're writing mystery. It's also where the actual clues go. Showing conveys emotion and sinks deep hooks into readers. Showing lends weight to whatever it is you are showing through your character's senses and experiences. Showing takes a reader by the shoulders and shouts PAY ATTENTION.

Telling is for passing action and transitions. The more detail you offer me in a tell, the more I, as a reader, think the detail matters to the plot. Unless you've poisoned it, I do not need you to show me someone reaching for the dull, aged bronze doorknob that's oddly warm in their grasp as if someone else's hand had just left it. Telling passages are for conveying the most necessary stage directions. He opened the door is perfectly adequate if he truly just opened a door without running into fire, zombies, or a hell mouth on the other side. If the important bit is to get the character through the door to the actual scene on the other side, tell me and move on.

Show what matters. Tell stage directions that do not impact plot or character. How do you keep them straight??

When to Ditch Showing and Just Tell

Coming Soon! THE LONG NIGHT OF THE RADIANT STAR. 

This is a novella in the Heirs of Magic series and occurs after THE STORM PRINCESS AND THE RAVEN KING. It's Jak and Stella's wedding on the longest night, the Feast of Moranu. I think I'll release it on Monday, November 21, 2022. No preorder this time. I'll post when it goes live!!

***

 At long last, Jakral Konyngrr—lowly sailor, gambler, and sometime rogue—has won the heart and hand of Princess Stella of Avonlidgh. Never mind that Stella’s mother is determined to make their wedding the event of the century, he’s happy to endure any trial to marry the love of his life and his guiding star. Very soon they can sail away together into the rest of their lives. Unfortunately the wedding becomes delayed for several months, until midwinter.

Stella—sorceress, empath, and bearer of the mark of the Tala—has been through great trials. But nothing has tested her as sorely as her passionate and flamboyant mother planning their wedding. Even Jak’s steady love and companionship isn’t enough as Stella finds herself crumbling under the pressure of being snowbound in a castle with the press of so many minds and emotions. When she lashes out, she hits the worst possible target, jeopardizing her chances for happiness.

With several kingdoms and a former enemy empire bearing down on them, Jak and Stella’s wedding on the longest night of year might not happen at all… Unless they can create their own happy ever after. 

***

This week at the SFF Seven, we're talking about Telling vs. Showing, particularly we're examining when some narrative exposition is needed.

It's an interesting question, and one very much focused on genre fiction. Many of you know I began my writing career in creative nonfiction. For many years I wrote and sold essays. My first book was an essay collection. At no point in that time - in classes, in critique groups, in discussions with editors - did anyone bring up Telling vs. Showing. It was only after I began writing fantasy romance (etc.) that the concept was introduced to me. I had to learn not to use the narrative exposition that had worked so well for my creative nonfiction voice, but to "show" instead.

Why is this a thing?

The oft-cited example is attributed to Anton Chekhov: "Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." It turns out this exact quote is probably apocryphal. A passage from the article I linked to says:

In May, 1886, Chekhov wrote to his brother Alexander, who had literary ambitions: “In descriptions of Nature one must seize on small details, grouping them so that when the reader closes his eyes he gets a picture. For instance, you’ll have a moonlit night if you write that on the mill dam a piece of glass from a broken bottle glittered like a bright little star, and that the black shadow of a dog or a wolf rolled past like a ball.”

It's salient to note that he's talking about description here. When my genre-fiction editors and critique partners introduced the concept to me, they framed it as a way to deepen the point of view (POV). In genre fiction, in particular, readers love to be immersed in the characters and world, thus the incentive to deepen POV.

I worked diligently to learn to show, not tell.

Fast-forward to my current agent, the insightful and incisive Sarah Younger at Nancy Yost Literary Agency. One day, after reading one of my manuscripts we planned to take on submission to traditional publishing, she said, "Jeffe, I know you work really hard to show, not tell, but sometimes we just need a line or two telling us what the heck is going on."

And she was right. I was so busy describing the glint of light on broken glass that I was failing to explain that this world had three moons.

In the end, as with all things, it comes down to balance. We need both in order to tell effective stories: immersive description and deep POV, along with some clear narrative exposition to ground the reader in the world. 

I'm getting better at it!

3 Tells, No Shows

Telling vs Showing: When is narrative exposition necessary?

Pithy answer: whenever I want it to be. What? I know, I know, "Show Don't Tell" is one of those fundamental "rules of writing" every novice has beaten into their skulls. Like most rules, once you understand the reason such guidance exists, then intentionally breaking it is NBD and often done for effect. 

I write character-driven stories, which means a character learns and grows through a series of trials and events to achieve their goal(s). There are times the reader needs to know why the character is acting/reacting in a particular way, but showing that is a whole other story--literally. Thus, an expository summary (a short summary) is the best way to tell the reader what they need to know to understand the scene. 

Here are three instances where I tend to tell not show:

1. The Character isn't Learning, The Reader Is: If the character is in the throes of learning a lesson, then show the process. If the character is recalling an experience pertinent to the current challenge, then tell.  
2. Perception is Priority: Since I write in close third POV rather than omniscient POV, how a character perceives circumstances, history, people, or locations conveys a lot about the character. So, when I have the POV character tell the audience something, it's because the priority is on the character's perception of their situation.
3. Memories Shape Characters: Those backstory infodumps we have to exorcize from our WiPs to keep pacing and linear storytelling, but we really, really, really need the reader to know what event from the past made the character the way they are in the current moment; those backstories get super-shortened into narrative exposition. Let me emphasize the important word again: short.

Admittedly, my style is to go overboard with narrative exposition during drafting because my priority is to get the story written, regardless of how craptastic that draft may be. Hey, I'm still figuring out the nitty-gritty of the character(s) during drafting; cut me some slack. Then, during edits, I shorten those infodumps. I also ask myself, can I turn this into a showing moment? Will showing be more impactful than telling? Sometimes, the answer is "yep, rewrite to show," and a new scene is born. Sometimes, the best answer is "delete, unnecessary to plot or character." Every once in a while, the narrative exposition stands as initially written. gasp.

To Tell Or Not To Tell

Hi all! This week's topic at the SFF Seven is Telling vs. Showing: When is narrative exposition necessary?

I'm not fond of giving too much writing advice. I really don't like specifics either, like saying when something is or isn't necessary in crafting a story. I think it can evoke fear or a feeling that there is a definite right and wrong way when it comes to writing. The way I see it: Every writer is different. Their storytelling is different. The way they process and deliver story is different. And readers? The diversity in reader expectation is immeasurable.

As a reader, I love novels that give me loads of essential info at the beginning of the tale and make me feel a connection to the world and main characters. But I've also read novels (and loved them) that start with a bang and catch me up on the background later. Different stories demand different methods, and I think that's part of the beauty of the writing craft.

One thing that has helped me with exposition is this question: Does my reader need to know this information right now in order to understand what's happening?

But again, this can mean different things to different writers. I've found myself thinking information wasn't important until later in a book when I realized the author had a plan, and that certain exposition was laid on the page for a reason. I've done this myself. But in the beginning stages of being a writer, plans can feel thin as water. It can seem like EVERYTHING in your story is important, making it difficult to decipher what background a reader requires to understand the story as it's unfolding on the page. This is often painstaking because--until the author knows the story they're trying to tell--how can they know what information to share?

Here are two things to consider:

1. Maybe try not to worry about things like too much exposition until you have a draft and know your story. Once you have a better grasp of how things play out, then go back and trim what needs trimming.
2. Examine other author's work. Look at bestselling and beloved books in your genre (and even outside your genre). Really pay attention to how they deliver background information. This is part of studying your craft, and it keeps you in tune with what your general readership is used to in the current market. You may still do things differently. That's okay. But I do think it helps to analyze well-written works.

So that's my very not-so-specific advice on telling vs. showing. I hope it helps!

~ Charissa