Sex in Fiction: Don't Confuse Intimacy w Tab Placement

Let's talk about sex, baby.

 ~Waits for the earworm to take root~

In fiction, much like real life, sex typically happens as an evolution of romance, a demonstration of power, an act of manipulation, or an emotional balm. Whether the sex is graphically detailed, faded to black, or a two-sentence spurt depends on myriad factors rolling around the author's head.

For my books, sex of any flavor comes down to whether it suits the character in "this" moment of their story. It's entirely possible that where the reader enters the character's life does not coincide with a sexually active time for the character. Sex shouldn't be shoehorned into a story any more than it should be actively avoided. Similarly, don't confuse intimacy with sliding Tab A into Slot B. Sex isn't a foregone conclusion in every intimate relationship, nor does sex require there to be a healthy relationship before/during/after it happens. However, unlike real life, sex in a novel needs to serve a purpose, to "show" something about a character and that character's relationship to their world.

When it comes to my protags, a critical part of their character development involves establishing and managing intimacy. Whether that intimacy leads to romance or to uncommon friendship depends on the protag. Since I write series rather than stand-alones, building intimacy takes place over multiple books. The question of sexual desire is answered fairly early. If sex is in the protag's future, then, sure, flirting happens. Sure, there will be caresses when merited. A toe-curling kiss may happen in book 3, but that's no guarantee that beds will be breaking in book 4.

In my High Fantasy series, my protagonist understands the primal drive of intercourse, but she views the act with something close to disdain or contempt. Her history is rife with copulation equating to manipulation or worse. She's not the sort of gal for whom sex is the ultimate demonstration of a soul-deep connection. The only sex described in detail in that series is when the protag happens upon others in the throes.

In my Urban Fantasy series, my protag is hardly sex-averse, but her focus isn't on getting laid. Her last two girlfriends ended up maimed by greater powers, so she's not keen to put someone else on the chopping block. However, there is a romance (re)building between her and another series regular. Crafting that intimacy takes priority over the boinking. Yes, I do hear from readers that "the story was good, but I want sex in my UF books and this didn't have any so I won't continue with the series." That's cool. There's a good chunk of the UF genre that offers high-octane sexual experiences. No harm, no foul. Hell, I'll offer recommendations.

Since I don't write romances (well, not that I've published) a romantic plotline is not the primary plotline; therefore, I can't have sex detract from nor dictate the main plot. The quest for intimacy, on the other hand, provides motivation for the protag. It is integral to the story. And that, I lay out in great detail.

Serving Sex: Only if it makes a difference.

Okay so I was raised in a household where sex was something that happened but was not widely discussed. Not exactly prudish, we certainly had conversations, but most of them were of the Birds and the Bees nature.

One of the very first things I heard with any regularity in the writing field was simply that sex sells. Cool beans and more power to you, but I decided early on that unless the scene mattered tot he story, I probably wasn't gong to mention it,

Most of my dirty scenes are a couple of sentences long.

Which rather amuses me. I happen to be extremely fond of sex. I make mention of it with regularity in my writings. But you know what? I also mention that sometimes characters have to pee.

It's a biological function and I will mention it. But unless the sex A) pushes the story forward, B) has a serious impact on the story or C) proves something I don't find a need to go into details.

Examples: In UNDER THE OVERTREE a character is raped. I mention that she was raped. I deal with the consequences of the situation. I felt no need to write a seen to titilate, so I didn't. As far as I'm concerned rape is an act of violence and shouldn't be used to stimulate anyone. There are consequences to the action and they are far ranging.

In BLOOD RED one of the main characters is literally paid as a prostitute to seduce every member of the religious clergy she can get in contact with. She does an excellent job. It isn't as thanks for all the good deeds. it's set up by a vampire who wants to generate as many crisis of faith as he can in order to weaken the religious faith in the community. She is rather successful in causing multiple crisis of faith. Completely unaware as to why she has been hired and not willing to ruin the cash flow coming her way the character never examines the reasons, but she DOES discover that seducing the people who should be above seduction is a powerful rush.  There are a few MODERATELY descriptive scenes. There are a few VERY descriptive sex scenes I have more sexual actions in this book than in anything else Ive ever written because they are pertinent to the story.

In SEVEN FORGES one of the male characters runs after Swech, a foreigner that he is watching over, in order t make sure that she is not sexually assaulted when she heads for the wrong part of town. What he finds when he chases after her is that Swech is capable of defending herself. She either maims or kills the six men that decide she would make an excellent victim. They are very mistaken in their beliefs.

Swech later "seduces" Merros, the man who went to save her. By seduce, what I mean is she basically jumps his bnes. Not that he's objecting. the entire purpose of these scenes is to make certain that A) Merros sees Swech first and foremost as a warrior and at the every least an equal. And second to show the very strong differences in cultures. Merros comes from a place where the only women who sleep with a man when unmarried are either foolish or prostitutes. Swech comes from a place where, if both parties agree, sex happens. Should pregnancy occur it's the will of the gods and deemed perfectly acceptable. The sex is mentioned. it is not something that is graphically described aside from the fact that Merros admires her shape a few times.

The lack of description has more to do with the fact that I likely will never be able to put into words the complex situations that happen between and man and a woman, and from the simple notion that sometimes less is more. I can describe a sexual act in detail. I can also describe a violent beheading in detail. I rarely feel the need to go far with either event.

Sex: Always, Extremely, and Profoundly

Our topic at the SFF Seven this week is "Sex in Your Novels: When Do You Use It, How Graphic Do You Get, How Does It Change Your Character(s)?"

I answered the question in my post title, so I guess I'm done and go finish trimming the tree!

All right, seriously, I suspect I'm fairly well known for writing the sexytimes into my stories. I sometimes teach classes in Sexual Tension and Sex as a Tool for Character Transformation. I think I've written maybe one or two fiction works with zero sex. Some of this is because my readers expect the sexytimes from me, sure, but it's also because sex just always works its way into my stories.

For me, sex is a profound part of the human experience - and it's also a way to pry open the characters. During sex, we are vulnerable in a way that we aren't in any other facet of life. We reveal our intimate faces to another, and the emotional stakes can be extreme. Sex is a way of connecting with another person, and it's also a way of showing where that character is in their emotional journey.

When Do You Use It

This varies from story to story, depending on the characters, but very often the act of full intercourse happens at a moment of intense emotional crisis. I'm using THE SNOWS OF WINDROVEN as an example, in part because this is a midwinter holiday story, so appropriate for the season. It takes place during the Feast of Moranu, my fictional solstice celebration in my Twelve Kingdoms world. The hero, Ash, is struggling with his own feelings of inadequacy - and that he feels unworthy of the love of his life, Ami. His consuming passion for Ami is a drive nearly beyond his control, so when he lets go and allows himself to have sex with her are emotionally charged moments.

“No,” she said miserably, face pressed into my chest. “You’re right. It was thoughtless of me. I just…” She let out a long breath. 

“What?” I urged. When she stubbornly shook her head, I levered the hand between us to lift her chin. Her eyes huge in her face, she looked fragile and vulnerable. Heartbreakingly beautiful. “Tell me, my sun.” 

“I just really miss you,” she whispered. “I miss us, how we used to be.” 

I groaned, losing everything to her, as I’d done all along—even before I ever knew her. And I was kissing her, lush mouth soft and sweet under mine, then parting and taking me into her heat. I devoured her, frustrated that I could only hold her with one hand, but using that to cup her head and hold her still so I could drink her in. I’d been starved for the taste of her, for the silk of her hair between my fingers and the delicate curve of her skull in my palm.

How Graphic Do You Get

I'm really not sure where I fall on the graphic scale. I write detailed sex scenes, but I also use euphemisms and focus on the feelings and sensations, rather than meticulously detailed blow-by-blow descriptions.

(explicit below)

My Ami might look angelic, but she possessed an uncanny mastery of the sensual skills. Another gift from the goddess of love. I slowed, stroking into her and savoring the way she enveloped me, so warm, an embrace like coming home. She watched me now through slitted lids, blue burning through the lace of fire, her moans like purrs. I bent over her, taking her nipple in my teeth and flicking my tongue that way that drove her crazy. She grabbed my head, bringing my mouth to hers, sucking my tongue in and biting hard enough to draw blood. 

I snarled, losing what little gentleness I’d been able to muster. Holding her in place, pounding into her, my vision blurred into a red haze. A whirl of jeweled stars exploded in my brain, and with a shout of near agony, I wrenched my mouth from hers, sinking my teeth into the vulnerable curve of her neck. The climax vised through me, a rumbling thunder of need that rattled and rocked me.  

Holding onto her like a drowning man, I dropped into oblivion.

How Does It Change Your Characters

Obviously this changes with the character, depending on what's going on with them. But I do believe that every sex scene should have some sort of personal fallout for the characters. Sometimes they might go right back into whatever cycle they're bound up in. Other times they might finally let go of something that's been holding them back.

In the case of this particular scene, he immediately retreats to that same prison he's made for himself.

The pain in my arm finally made me move. Trapped between us, the still-bruised flesh and knitting bones protested being pinned. Reality crashed back with it. I’d fucked the Queen of Avonlidgh on the grand table in the main hall of Windroven. An abysmally bad decision, even for me. 

As if there’d been any thinking involved.

But later

“It’s not so easy as that.” 

“It is that easy, Ash.” She framed my face with her hands. “Just let me love you. Let yourself love me and everything else will fall into place.” 

“Love doesn’t solve everything.” 

“No.” She kissed me. “But it makes everything worthwhile.” 

I sank into her, into the kiss and into the silken sweetness of her embrace. In the soft light of morning, I let myself love her as she’d asked, showing her with caresses and all the rawness in me, how very worthwhile that could be. 

Picture Books and Regency Romances - My Favorite Holiday Books

I have to take this week's topic of favorite holiday books from two standpoints - favorite picture books we used to read every year when the children were little - and Regency romance, which is my personal FAVORITE ever holiday genre. Give me that snowy inn or the big house party at the Duke's estate (any Duke but he must waltz)!

Picture books first. The one that comes to my mind immediately when this topic is raised would be The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett. Her books are marvelous, with all these intricate details in the illustrations, plus the main character in this holiday book is a girl, which my daughters especially loved. I still have my collection of Jan Brett books and when she has a new one released I BUY IT.

Second would be Tosca's Christmas by Anne Mortimer, who does wonderful cat illustrations, and Matthew Sturgis. We're cat people in my family and this tale is holiday fun.

Third would be Angelina's Christmas by Katharine Holabird and Helen Craig (illustrator). We had the entire Angelina Ballerina series but this one is a December favorite.

For myself, my single most favorite Regency Christmas story IN THE WORLD is The Best Gift by Mary Balogh. The story of Jane, a single teacher at a girls' school, who has no family, and goes to chaperone one of her students over the holidays. There's a Viscount rather than a Duke but he waltzes and I just love this story.

My second favorite is The Porcelain Madonna, also by Mary Balogh. There is no waltzing but there's a lovely story...

And my third favorite is The Best Husband Money Can Buy by Mary Jo Putney.  I love everything about that one, but especially the idea of the huge family gathering annually for their Christmas celebration...always room for another couple. And waltzing. Plus the story of how the heroine became rich is based on a real, heart warming episode...

And last, The Wise Virgin from Jo Beverley, which is more of a medieval tale but I like it...

Best Wishes for a very Happy Holiday season!

DepositPhoto

Favorite Holiday Reads

This book has already been mentioned. In fact, I think I bring it up every single time we do the holiday book thing. Here it is again, with good reason. It's my favorite. Has been for decades now. The story is aces. The art is utterly haunting - even though it's cartoon water color, it's vivid and fluid and alive. You feel like you're actually striding the strawberry fields. It doesn't matter how often I read the book, I end up on the emotional roller coaster of the story whether I mean to or not.

So sure. It's a silly little holiday book. A trifle. A book for kids and for kids at heart. And if you read it to one of your favorite kids, the art and the story will stick with you for days and days. Maybe for the entire year until the next time you read it to someone. Or have it read to you.

If you're of a certain age, you recall exactly what it was like to go see E.T. in the movie theater for the first time and to expose yourself to the master emotional manipulation that defines that movie. Red Ranger Came Calling is the watercolor and blue haze of swear words hanging over the fields and frightening the rabbits version. It's sublime emotional manipulation. 

To my mind, that makes it Art. Fight me. Just remember. I have back up.

Photo credit: Faye Heath

Holiday Books

So, I have to confess, I'm not much of one for holiday books.  I certainly would struggle to pick a favorite.

Of course, I do have a deep fondness for A Christmas Carol.  It's a fantastic story, that's at the same time deceptively simple in structure, yet rich and complex in execution. And I kind of love that it went from concept to in-stores in six weeks as a "damn I need some fast money" ploy.  Which: mad respect.

On a simpler level, I love A Visit from St. Nicholas.  It's such a pure and delightful story of Christmas joy, and there was a time when I could recite it for memory.  Now I might stop and stumble a bit if I tried.  But as a story, as a piece of poetry, it's a deep favorite for me. 

I think both, for me, represent something fundamental and pure about my feelings of the season.  Like: hey, here's a little bit of the magic of Christmas, and maybe, just maybe, experiencing it will make you a slightly better person. 

That's how I like to think of it, at least.

5 Christmas Books to Read Nightly

Eep. Just had a bout of mild panic because it's twenty-seven days to Christmas and I couldn't find the books. The important books. The books we read almost nightly but definitely eleventy billion times at least in this interstice between Thanksgiving and Go Day. What in the world did I do with The Books?!

Outside of house is festively bedazzled. Tree is lit (in the lighting sense, though we also do have nog). Mantle is strung with Yoda lights and littered with figurines of mice and chihuahuas in winter clothing. (I have no idea why this is my thing, but this is my thing.)

But the books are the most important part. Because the books are family. We read them together, and recite the funny parts and make up silly voices and ... aha! There they are. Downstairs by the board games cabinet. Well of course.

Now, which books? Oh, right. These ones:

1. The de rigueur no-movie-will-ever-be-as-good-as-the-original seasonal classic.

2. For the emotional heft and modern sensibility, and also because we are a pet-centered family:

 3. Read before 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. It adds context. Also muy relatable if you've ever had the flu on Go Day. Which we have. As a family. Twice. Good times.

4. Of all the versions, I like this one with Mary Engelbreit's illustrations best. Good old Santa, creepy as ever. And yet we all still keep letting him invade our homes in the middle of the night and eat our cookies. We are a weird people.

5. And this one, to cap off the night of readings. Berk Breathed is mostly known as the writer of the long-running Bloom County comic strip, but he also turned out this gem of a book. If you haven't read it, you need to. I don't care what you believe, the message in this book will resonate. Also, that last page. *grin*

So THANK YOU to SFF Seven for putting the fire under my feet to locate these books before The People come home from work and school and such and settle down for a warm winter's read. When they ask tonight, I will be prepared.

Now to practice my silly voices.

Cover Reveal: The Hanged Spy

Yes, yes, yes, our topic this week is "what's our favorite holiday book." Dear Readers, this year, my favorite holiday book is the fourth book in my Immortal Spy series. It drops on December 27! While Bix isn't participating in the holiday spirit in this story, she does have the impeccable timing of helping me hit my personal goal of releasing four books in one year. I may be delivering on that goal by the skin of my teeth, but deliver I shall!

(The Berserkers are all about the winter holidays in Book 3, The Captured Spy, FWIW).

With another amazing cover by Gene Mollica Studios, here is Bix gearing up for her next mission to save the Mid Worlds...

THE HANGED SPY
Immortal Spy: Book 4

Stealing the build specs for a prototype Mid Worlds defense system pits Bix and her team against the pantheons'  elite wet works unit. Bix’s only chance at success rests in the scarred hands of the Hanged Spy…

Pre-Order the eBook Now:

Amazon  |  iBooks  |  Nook   |  Kobo

Paperback available on Dec 27.