My Favorite Reality TV Shows and Why

I have a love of reality TV shows, but only the ones where a certain amount of technical skill is involved to even get to be a contestant, not the ones where clusters of unpleasant people diss each other, spend money and screech/pullhair/flip furniture etc., and what have you, and also not the ones where a person picks the ‘love of their life’, then goes on “Dancing With the Stars” for a few weeks, after which they break up with said romantic partner. I’ve sampled some of those – a few episodes here and there – and nope, not my thing.

(I do love DWTS itself though.)

I’m a people person, so yes, it’s the element of the human interrelationships that draws me in, but there has to be that other element of skill and meeting challenges under pressure. (Of course like any rule, I do have exceptions, which I’ll get to.) Each season is like a mini series to me, or like reading a good novel.

My all-time favorite is SyFy’s ‘Face Off,’ where makeup artists work frantically on all kinds of challenges (“here’s a weird sound, now go invent the alien that might have made it” or “mix Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz and keep it Tim Burtonesque”…) I LOVE that program. I own all 16 seasons and I binge watch it fairly often. As with murder mysteries where I forget who dunnit as soon as I’ve read the book and set it aside, I often don’t remember which person won what specific challenge, and I enjoy the entire process involved in going from the explanation of the challenge to the final reveals. (I also have a teensy crush on Tait from Season One – tell no one!) I’m in awe of the things these artists can create from L-200 foam, paint and a well placed LED light. (Roy is THE wizard at this.) I have utterly no talent in this area. I’d love to be a guest judge though!

Hey, I write science fiction – I could totally judge. I watch special effects movies with a different eye now, let me tell you. There’s a commercial running currently for a TV service where the characters are paranormal tropes (werewolf, mummy, etc) and the edges on the facial prosthetics are AWFUL! (See, I know these things now…)

SyFy just launched a new spinoff, entitled ‘Game Face,’ where the challenges are much quicker and favorites from all the previous seasons are competing (even Tait according to the previews, sigh). So far I like it!

I’m also fascinated by McKenzie Westmore’s reveal stage wardrobe over the years…

One thing I also love about this show is how collegial the artists are, I think the tone was set nicely in season one and has carried through. No matter how pressed for time everyone is, if someone’s 200 lb. mold ‘locks’ with five minutes to the deadline, everyone drops what they’re doing to help.

I enjoy ‘Top Chef’ and ‘Project  Runway’ in all its many forms as well, although the drama levels on those programs can spike without warning. Not a fan of certain contestants on this season of Runway, let me tell you, although I love love love the diversity of the models. With ‘Top Chef’ I probably wouldn’t actually enjoy most of the refined and rarefied foods they cook - I lack the palate - , but I enjoy the tools, technique and knowledge on display. And the Restaurant Wars episode is always a nail-biter.

Those are my top three, but I also have been known to spend time with “Say Yes to the Dress,”  “Say Yes to the Dress - Atlanta, “I Found the Gown,” and “My Fair Wedding”. I used to adore the “What Not to Wear” program, although the sartorial advice in the earliest episodes became pretty hilariously dated as time went on. But their makeover process was fascinating. A little harsh on some of the participants, who didn’t nominate themselves but were often shoved into it by friends, co-workers and family.

I like the ‘Below Deck’ series set on private yachts for rent in exotic locales. Since I write an interstellar cruise liner in my Sectors series of scifi romances, I enjoy watching the scenarios on this program. Except many of the seasons I get pretty fed up with everyone by midway through and bail on them LOL. It always fascinates me that the show follows a select number of the crew but the boat in question actually has a lot of other people working on it that we never see.

I watch 'The Amazing Race' in horrified awe at what these people can make themselves do for a chance at $1 million. I have a fear of heights and a gut-wrenching terror of sooo many other things that get thrown at these contestants every season. I've been known to stop watching mid-season though if all the couples I liked get eliminated. See, I'm there for the people! 

Yeah, NOT the Author LOL

OK, but my real guilty pleasure? ‘Making the Team.’ In my heart of hearts I still harbor a tiny thought that hey, *I* could be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. (WARNING: Do NOT shatter my dream by reminding me I can’t do a sustained series of high kicks, don’t know left from right, my hair isn’t big and blonde and I’m uh slightly over their target demographic for uniformity of appearance. In more ways than one. I could TOTALLY do it.) Having lived a significant portion of my life in the South, I get the DCC and the entire cheerleading thing. Even if nowadays it’s actually professional dancing and there seem to be a lot of corporate events where they have to schmooze with fans.

On second thought, maybe I should stick with my goal of becoming a guest judge on ‘Face Off’!

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All photos purchased from DepositPhoto

Cooking Up Reality TV

 Acknowledging that TV isn't really my thing, nor are reality shows - unless you're going to remodel a house or cook something interesting. My objection comes from the use of the word 'reality'. In no way do I believe reality shows reflect any kind of reality at all. They're carefully choreographed and scripted to give the appearance of some kind of Jerry Springer-esque slant on reality. Not to mention that most of them feel mean-hearted to me and my life's to short for that nonsense. Got no time for mean. Snark? Hell yes. Mean? Nopitynope.

But. IF I were to be on a reality show, it would have to be one of those foodie shows. I'd get my ass tossed out the door in short order because anyone yelling at me while I'm in the kitchen with access to really big knives takes their life in their own hands. But yeah. It would be food. I like to cook. More to the point, I like to experiment while I'm cooking. I like making up recipes. I like looking for the most complicated dishes and recipes I can find just so I can try them out. It was in the process of experimenting that a family tradition called Christmas Brunch was born. 

Each year, I search for new, never before attempted recipes for a multi-course meal. No one is allowed to know the menu. I'm looking for fancy here and each time, I'm actively trying to close the gap between good food and really excellent food. That goes better some years more than others. My downfall on any cooking reality show, though, would be the fact that I'm not fast enough. Christmas Brunch is generally a 72 hour cycle of prep and cooking for the actual event. There isn't a reality show out there in the world that could withstand filming me while I read the recipe for the bajillionieth time. You know. Just to be sure. 

Did you know that one of the cooking magazines in the US does a yearly rating of all of the cooking chocolates on the market? They do it yearly, just prior to the holidays, because the crop changes that often and the brand that was on top last year may not be the best tasting brand this year. That chocolate report matters when you're making chocolate raspberry molten lava cake. Cooking is chemistry and I've learned the difference between actually building layers of flavor in a soup and just tossing all the ingredients in a pot, turning it on and letting it simmer for hours. I sound all snooty about this stuff, don't I? I suppose I am. My grandmother (for whom I am named) taught me to cook. Then my mother. These ladies are some really tough acts to follow. To tread in their footsteps, I have to seriously up my game. 

Just don't put me on one of those shows where some judge or famous chef comes into my kitchen to enumerate my cooking sins. One of us will die a messy death.

If I had a Reality TV Show...

I don't watch much TV. Shows of the 'reality' variety don't have any appeal to me if they are about the relationships of people because I'm just not that voyeuristic. BUT...I do occassionally love to watch a house renovation.

Long ago I was employed as the Art Director for a realty company. Later, I was an assistant to the sales staff at a home builder, then I was in training to become their sales staff. After that, I became a Realtor. There's an appreciation for homes within that calls to me. Deciding on colors, decor, furniture, art, the whole look and feel of a room and how it blends into another room to create a cozy home...ahhh, yes...I do enjoy pondering these questions and answering them. Proof provided below...

BEFORE:

Ugly wallpaper.

Drab woodwork.

*pardon the tools*

AFTER #1:

Pale walls to match sink.

Refinished and antiqued the wood, 

added new knobs and accents.

New mirror and switchplates to match.

And yes...I did make my own stencils so 

I could do a raised stencil. Love the effect.

*have new oil rubbed bronze faucet

but that's on the honey-do list*

AFTER #2:

The closet door refinished and new knob and accents.

That fabric became the shower curtain for a pop of bold color.

Reality TV: Just The Encouraging Ones for Me

If I were to go on reality TV...entertainment would've devolved to a newer, more frightening level. Champions of Sloth wouldn't get a lot of viewers...unless there were actual fuzzy sloths involved.

I wish I had the talent and the skill to go on Face Off, Forged in Fire, or Ellen's Design Challenge. What the contestants are able to produce? The craftsmanship? The imagination? I'm in awe.

Any show that focuses on how awful humans can be, count me out. No snarky, back-stabby crap. No Masters of Emotional Manipulation. No Smile for the Sociopath. No Lord of the Flies in Paradise. No How to Ruin Your Marriage in Thirteen Episodes. No, no. No. Nope. Nu-uh. Just say no to the Art of Being Vapid and How to Out Shrew Shakespeare too.

Skill-based series, though? I'm a fan. I'm a huge fan of the shows that let us see competitors being supportive of each other, rather than tearing each other down. The Voice and So You Think You Can Dance come to mind. I enjoy the warm fuzzies of artists encouraging each other. I respect the constructive feedback of experts who want the next gen to succeed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have The Great British Bake Off to binge-watch.

No soggy bottoms!

If I had to be on a "reality" TV show which one and why?

Well, that's actually easier than you might think. I'd be on NAKED AND AFRAID. Mostly to see how well I would do. There are no prizes, but I could easily call the time spent on the wilds research for any book I would likely write.

Also, I write horror and the idea of me naked should terrify anyone.

I seldom watch shows like that, if I'm being honest. Though when I do I'm amused. It's a matter of time spent and experiences gained for me.

This weekend I ran off to NecronomiCon in Providence, Rhode Island. it's an interesting fusion of fan convention and scholarly study of the weird fiction traditions, both old and new. I had a blast. I would recommend it to anyone who can arrange to hit the show.

I moderated a panel on Horror and Souther Gothic Fiction with panelists Ellen Datlow, Steve Rasnic Tem, Jeffrey Shaver and Michael Wehunt and had a blast, There is nothing quite as lovely as a panel with energetic and knowledgeable panelists.

Additionally I was on a panel regarding weird westerns. It's always a little unsettling when you realize that you have more knowledge than you expected about a subject. i did some work back in the day for Werewolf Wild West, the RPG from White Wolf Games, and since I did all that research--I did a LOT of research, I guess some of it stuck. Since then I've written 3/4s of a novel called BOOMTOWN that was placed on a back burner when my wife passed away. I was quite literally writing that novel when she passed.  I haven't finished the novel, but I've written several sequels to it. "Black Train Blues," "White Blank Page Songs in the Key of White)," "The Devoted," and, with Charles R. Rutledge, "What Rough Beast."  four sequels to a novel I haven't even finished yet. I suppose I should finish that novel and have pencilled it in for the end of the year. 

That's the Biltmore, where most of the programming took place. 

The Big Reality Show Called Life

Yesterday my car rolled over to 100,000 miles! I was happy I remembered to keep an eye on the odometer and pull over to snap the pics. She's 21 now and feeling frisky!

Our topic at the SFF Seven this week is "If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would you pick and why?"

Those of you who know me will immediately recognize that this is NOT my topic. I don't watch many TV shows - we don't have cable, so anything I see is what we stream - and reality shows are not my thing. My main associations with reality TV shows are ancient ones from MTV days where they stuck a bunch of bratty people into a house to fight with each other. Though I do love the character of Brock Hudson in She's All That - where he's recent reality show celeb, who can't stop mugging for the expected cameras. The rest of my ideas come from more current occasional You Tube videos of various surprising competitors on singing shows and several decades worth of cultural memes.

But I'll tell you what reality show almost all of us are a part of, whether we want to be or not: social media.

I know, I know - I've said things on this topic before, but it continually amazes me how some people seem to forget how many "viewers" they have. Social media is a big TV camera - or, rather, thousands upon thousands of smaller ones - aimed at us, recording our lives. We can control what we display for those cameras, but not who sees it afterwards.

And, as with the basic premise for all reality shows, the more drama, the more viewers tune in to watch.

Recently I've seen some authors complaining in "private groups" about reviews and contest scores. Inevitably a few others chime in, with sympathy or adding their own disgruntlement to the fire, and the conversation escalates. On one of those, I notice there are over 1,100 people subscribe to that "private" group. All other authors. In another, the group is smaller, but again it's a fairly rarified selection of other authors, colleagues in the same field of business.

Not only a lot of viewers, but targeted and invested ones.

Part of this complaining verged into criticizing major review outlets - who failed to review the authors' books or reviewed them unfavorably - with aspersions cast as to which are taking bribes to review other books with higher ratings.

And all I can think of is Brock Hudson, making an ass of himself, and thinking that he's accomplishing something. All the while everyone watching is shaking their heads, rubbernecking the drama.

Reader Appreciation!

I love my readers! Being able to tell my stories and put them out there, and have people want to read them is WONDERFUL!

But I'm kind of a 'write the book, put the book out there, write the next book' person. My newsletter is a basic "there's a new book out" kind of thing. I don't do freebies or giveaways in the NL, nor do I write special short stories for the newsletter audience. Short and sweet and to the point, just the facts as they used to say on the old "Dragnet" TV show. I'm just not a very newsletter-oriented person.

I do giveaways from time to time on Facebook, not very often, or on a blog hop, if I'm participating to support a group. I've given away signed books, coffee mugs, T shirts with various logos from my series, eBooks, free audiobook download codes, humorous plastic robots and faux Egyptian jewelry. When I go to signings I make sure to have pens with my Sectors logo and bookmarks. (Plus chocolate because everything goes better with chocolate in my opinion.) I have fun with it if there's a specific occasion going on.

I DO have two free things going on right now, both in connection with Embrace the Romance: Pets in Space 2, which releases on October 10th. I wrote a rock star romance set in outer space for my entry - I've always had a craving to write a rock star romance because I personally LOVE to read them, but since everything I touch turns to scifi, I didn't think I ever would. But then I did!

So we have a free coloring book that you can download here and we have a free sampler of the first chapter of all twelve new stories available on Instafreebie here.

Here's the blurb: 
The pets are back! Embrace the Romance: Pets in Space 2, featuring twelve of today’s leading Science Fiction Romance authors, brings you a dozen original stories written just for you! Join in the fun, from the Dragon Lords of Valdier to a trip aboard Award-winning author, Veronica Scott’s Nebula Zephyr, to journeying back to Luda where Grim is King, for stories that will take you out of this world! Join New York Times, USA TODAY, and Award-winning authors S.E. Smith, M.K. Eidem, Susan Grant, Michelle Howard, Cara Bristol, Veronica Scott, Pauline Baird Jones, Laurie A. Green, Sabine Priestley, Jessica E. Subject, Carol Van Natta, and Alexis Glynn Latner as they share action-packed SFR stories and help out Hero-Dogs.org, a charity that supports our veterans!

Rewarding Readers

When we talk about rewards, I am never clear who is rewarding whom. Frankly, I'm usually pretty stunned to find I have a reader who isn't related to me by blood or marriage. When I do find that out, I have the disconcerting tendency to say "C'mon in!" And subject said reader to cat photos on Facebook. Is that a reward?

Anything I've ever tried to do - tee shirts, giveaways, silly toys at signings - have felt as much like a reward for me as for anyone who wanted to buy a book, get a book signed, or just come talk to me about books in general. I have too much fun handing those things out. And, of course, there's only so much of that one person (and one pocket book) can do. So then I do my darnedest to make my readers feel special - which they are - I started looking for ways to make them a part of the writing process. Several readers generously answered my plea for beta readers. My newsletter subscribers (you can subscribe here) voted on the new cover for the re-release of Enemy Within. And yes. The cover that won is the cover I'm going with. Never ask readers' opinions and then blow them off. They know what they want. Someone remind me of that if I ever forget it, will you? Sorry. Can't post the cover here - it's still being worked on and I don't yet own the image yet.

I've been fortunate enough to trade birthday and holiday cards with readers who've become my friends. If I travel through a reader's state/town/region, I do my darnedest to meet for coffee at the very least. But again. Buying a reader a cup of coffee and a pastry is reward for me! Who else gets to do that other than a writer? Actors have stalkers. Romance writers have amazing readers we can laugh and chat and geek out with.

And that means that to this point, I have yet to find a reward for my readers that isn't a reward for me, too. Ideas? I'd love to hear them!