Difficult Characters

Once upon a time, I played a massive multiplayer online roleplaying game. Obsessively. I managed to create a character with what I thought was a silly, throw away backstory. But from that silly backstory, she took on a life and a legend of her own. In the midst of it all, the game company claimed that the race to which my toon belonged had never been intended to be serious characters in the game - they'd been designed to be nothing more than comedic relief.

I was offended. Then I came to believe the attitude from the game company was a grave disservice to the race. I mean, look around our world. Are the funniest people not the ones hiding the deepest, most intractable pain? Maybe not always. Sometimes silly is just silly. But in this case, I really felt like the game writers were stuck in an idea rut that short-changed them, the game story, and the character potential I saw in this character and her race.

Then the game company just HAD to piss me off by taking pains to inform players that the game company, not the players, owned the rights to any and all characters within the game. No matter how much time and effort players had put into actually creating characters to flesh out what had amounted to a collection of graphics files. It was, 'Hey! We drew pretty pictures for you, so now we own all the hard work you put into actually breathing life into those pictures! Thanks! Suckers.' No, it's not your imagination. My eyelid really is twitching over this. My reaction eventually amounted to a far less polite version of, 'Oh yeah?? Guess what, you jerks.'

I based a book on the character they told me I didn't own. Won't get into details because a forlorn vestige of the company and the game are still out there in the world, but yeah, while so much has changed between game character and book character that I doubt I could be successfully sued, I have zero interest in finding that out. The annoying thing is that the character and voice that grew so organically out of a game, became really, really difficult to write in a novel. The backstory couldn't be silly because the story arc wouldn't support it. Nor would the emotional arc of a romance. This novel is still stewing while I work on other stuff because while I think I have a story that's true to the spirit of my beloved toon, no one (me or the hero or the heroine) can figure out the climax of this book.

I think the biggest issue is that in a game, nothing has to make sense. You kill bad guys. You take their stuff. There doesn't need to be a why. In a novel, I need a why. I never thought I'd be the one saying this because I am usually ALL ABOUT the why - but the damned whys of this novel and this character I so love are making me want to slam my head repeatedly in a door somewhere.

Maybe I'll go slip into game for a little while. Just for old times' sake. Depending on where I adventure in the game world, it will be just like slamming my head in a door. So there's that, I guess.

That One Character Who...Gah!

Which of my characters has been the most difficult to write? I could give a Top Ten list from books that haven't been published...primarily because I haven't nailed certain pivotal characters, but that might be cheating.

So, I'll give you the character whose reactions to situations I most often have to rewrite.

Feng, the Phoenix from my Immortal Spy series. Feng is introduced as the antagonist to the protag. Feng is painfully righteous, morally pure, and utterly inflexible. As events unfold, things don't go well for Feng. Things go so poorly that even the most gruesome death would definitely be preferable. Alas, to his great misfortune, he survives thanks to the protag. While his body eventually recovers and he finds common ground with the protag, he suffers from horrific PTSD.

What makes Feng difficult to write is that his PTSD doesn't (and shouldn't) define who he is, but it is a factor in his reactions to situations. It is a question of his reliability in a crisis. What will trigger an episode? How will he respond? How do I responsibly write his management of his mental health without pandering or being dismissive?  Yes, I know, I'm writing fantasy...about a dude who is an all-powerful firebird. Yes, the story is told from the POV of protag with her own mental disadvantages. Still. It is some bad shit when your mind is simultaneously your greatest asset and your worst enemy. Now, I'm not saying I get it right. No, no. I am saying what makes Feng so difficult for me to write is my desire to at least be in the neighborhood of respectful.

Jeffe's Most Difficult Character - Not Who You Think?

So, if you missed it on Friday, we finally had the cover reveal for THE ORCHID THRONE! 

This is the first book in a new trilogy I'm doing with St. Martin's Press. Totally new world, totally new series. My editor there, Jennie Conway, called it:

the magical feminist fantasy romance I've always wanted

Which is now my new favorite tag line ever. You can read more (and preorder!) here. It comes out September 24, 2019. 

Our topic at the SFF Seven this week is: Your most difficult character to have written and why. 

This question stumped me. I even asked Assistant Carien what she thought, since she often listens to me whine about these things. She offered a few suggestions, that just didn't "sound" right to me. So, then I went and looked at my publication list.

Yes, I totally use my website to remind myself of my own books, what of it?

Looking over that list, a couple of books stood out. Ones that just didn't come out the way I envisioned when I started. Ones that I'd rewrite, if I could. 

And one heroine, in particular, that I just never felt I really got into her head. 

Ava, from SHOOTING STAR.

The book is a contemporary romance, so I haven't talked about it much here at the SFF Seven. But, people, I rewrote this book SO MANY TIMES. And though the heroine, Ava, was clear to me from the start - in fact, she was one of those characters who plagued me to write her story - I never felt I really got a handle on her. I don't know if I could say why. It could be because she was inspired by a real life person (or, rather, a blend of several) and therefore I couldn't find my way into her head in the same way.

It could be because Ava is simply a very complex person, with many layers and secrets, and she's become adept over time at keeping everyone out. Even me.

I could be I'd have to write more of her to really crack that nut. 

Hmm.