Showing posts with label how far is too far. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how far is too far. Show all posts

Saturday, October 8, 2022

How Far is Too Far?

 


One of the biggest questions many authors face when writing is how far is too far. Should I put a taboo topic in my book? Should I limit myself and stick to something that is considered safer? My answer is, write what you want. It’s okay to push boundaries. One of my all-time favorite quotes is “Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little.”- Holley Gerth.

To me, there is something freeing in writing our dark truths. In my stories, you will find characters that deal with what many consider taboo topics, such as mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-harm, and addiction; along with other taboo topics, such as miscarriage and premature birth. 

Why do I put these topics into my writing? Because I have mental illnesses. I have depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD. I have also struggled with self-harm. I know many who have struggled with addiction and other mental illnesses. I’ve experienced the heartbreak of miscarriages and the fear of delivering my twins at twenty-nine weeks, wondering if they would survive. Thankfully, they did, and they are thriving almost four-year-olds. I have close friends who struggled and still struggle with infertility. 

My point is that the chances that one of your readers has experienced the topic that would be considered too far is highly likely. I’m a survivor of abuse, sexual assault, and attempted rape. Many would say that’s too far, but I still put it in my stories because I know the chances that someone in my readership has also experienced it. 
It adds reality to our characters when we give them complex and real issues that many of us deal with. Many of us are forced to suffer alone and in the dark with such taboo topics because it’s considered too far to put in fantasy and paranormal, or really any romance. The reality is those things happen. There is nothing wrong with adding a realistic situation for your character to overcome. Having something that’s considered bad happen to your character doesn’t make them less worthy of love. In fact, it’s empowering to see a character overcome tragedy and still find happiness. 
As a reader, I love reading when a character has experienced something I personally have. It adds a depth to the character that helps me feel a little less alone in my struggles. This is exactly why I put these so-called taboo and too-far topics into my books. Breaking the stigma and helping someone feel a little less alone is worth whatever backlash I might get. 

For me as a reader and author, I don’t find anything taboo or too far in writing. Can there be misrepresentations? Absolutely, but that goes for TV and movies as well. It happens, and my best advice is that if you want to write a taboo topic that you have not experienced, do your research. Educate yourself to the best of your ability. You don’t have to have experienced something taboo to write about it. 

Writing is my therapy, so being able to express my past, my experiences, and my feelings helps me. I know many authors write for therapeutic purposes. It’s a wonderful and healthy outlet—just like how many read to escape their reality. They want that temporary break from their day-to-day, so they escape in the pages of a book. 

Not everyone is going to love your book or what you write, so put the topics you want into your story. At the end of the day, it’s your book, your story, and you can make it whatever you want. There will be someone who will be touched by your story, and that is what makes it worth it. Even if I touch one person with my stories, that’s enough for me. If I can make someone feel a little less alone in their struggles, then it’s worth it. 

Don’t limit yourself. The beauty of being an author is the world is what we create it to be. We can create complex characters with real issues that people struggle with and put them in an epic fantasy world. We can write a paranormal romance and have a werewolf who deals with self-conscious issues. We can have a female in a contemporary romance struggle with her body image. Just because it’s romance doesn't mean everything about the story has to be rainbows and butterflies. Characters can go through struggles and still have happy endings. I’m all for writing happily ever afters. 

Don’t censor yourself because even if it’s considered too far, the chances are someone won’t think of it that way. Write what makes you happy. Write the story you want the world to see because it’s your story, your world, your characters, and it’s up to write a story you love. 


Birdy Rivers is an award-winning author. She was born in NJ and now resides in GA with her family. She has been writing since her teens and professionally writing since her mid-twenties. When she isn't writing she is raising her twin girls and spending time with family and friends. Before Birdy became a full time Author and an Editor she worked as a Medical Assistant. She enjoys reading, the outdoors, gaming with hubby, and music. Music and writing have served as therapeutic measures for her depression and anxiety. Birdy is a huge mental health advocate and often features the struggles of mental health in her stories.
 

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

A Bridge Too Far: Taboos in Fiction

 

 

Thanks to all the wonderful readers for their enthusiastic reception of SHADOW WIZARD! Just because it's so squee-worthy, here's a fabulous Reddit Gush about the book. Made me very happy!

This week at the SFF Seven, we're asking about limits. How far is too far in your writing? Is there anything you find taboo?

I think these are two different questions. I mean, they're literally two different questions, but I think the consideration of what is "too far" for me vs. what I find taboo are not the same at all. 

George R.R. Martin once told me about one of his favorite writing exercises to assign when he teaches workshops. He'd ask the students to write about the worst thing they ever did. Some, he said, were clearly fictionalizing. And others couldn't seem to come up with anything that terrible - which he figured for another sort of denial. But the point of the exercise was to demonstrate that all people - and thus all characters - can do really awful things. I mulled this over, and the conversation has clearly stuck with me, and I'm pretty clear that I do have places I won't go in my writing.

Some of the reactions to SHADOW WIZARD that I've seen remark on how awful some of the high houses in the Convocation are. In fact, some readers tap out on the world altogether, because it is so dark. I want to show in my work what absolute power does to people - it's a recurring theme for me - so perhaps I'm not so different from GRRM in that perspective. I have shown sexual abuse to the point of rape on the page, so that's clearly not too far for me. I won't show the death of a child or an animal-friend, however. That's just because it's too much sorrow for me. 

As far as taboos, however... I have a workshop I sometimes teach on writing sexual tension, and I delve heavily into taboos, especially as they apply to sex. In short, taboos exist in society for good reasons - they are instilled in us as children to protect our health (no dessert before dinner) and safety (don't touch the hot stove) and later they come from our larger communities to protect us all (murder is wrong). Because taboos are so deeply ingrained in us, breaking them releases a huge amount of emotional and spiritual energy. It's freeing to break taboos - which is why breaking sexual taboos (which often don't exist for very good reasons) can be so healthy.

The great thing about fiction is you can break all the taboos you want to! It's exhilarating for the writer and the reader. There's a reason we love kick-ass characters who kill with glee and ease. That releases the same energy in us as breaking the murder taboo, but without social or personal consequences. So... is there anything taboo for me in fiction? 

Probably not.