Offering a Hand Up

Mentors come in a lot of shapes and sizes in my life. I can't point to a single person or one single piece of insightful advice. When I look back, I see the long line of people who dropped tidbits of encouragement, advice, and tutoring. I look back across the vast sea of books I'd read that taught me how stories come together. I had RWA teaching me everything I needed to know about writing an about the business. I also had Jeffe trying to mentor me in networking - I was not her brightest pupil. Eventually, it was the people willing to critique my work and talk me through what was right, what was wrong, and how to fix it. I needed someone to take me by the hand and say this is wrong, do you see it? Here's how you fix it. I learned so much that way and I was so grateful for that education.

As for reaching back to help those coming up, I critique for others. Usually it's within my own critique groups, but the real fun is critiquing for contests. I want to help newer, younger writers learn what I learned from critique. 

I needed direct 'this is wrong, see? Do this. Or this.' I have come to understand, however, that I'm in the minority and most people do not want me approaching their fiction in that fashion. So I've had to adapt. I've learned to say things like, what's the goal of the scene? What does this character want right here and why? I guess I've had to learn to lead people to see their own issues themselves rather than have me come right out and say hey this doesn't work here's why and here's how to fix it. It's a running joke with my critique groups that you'll always here me say 'I feel like you have an opportunity here to do xy or z' which is my way of saying hey you missed a potentially potent story thread. I hope it helps.

As for me, I still need a mentor. I need someone who can mentor me in cloning myself so that one of me can do the day job and care for the elderly parents and the other one of me can write and take care of cats and the rest of the household. I'm not sure that kind of mad science is in anyone else's best interests, though. 

We're Thankful

Today is a reminder to be thankful—for those who have reached out to lend a helpful hand, for those who lift us up, and for those who inspire us. 

Here at the SFF Seven, we’re thankful for all of you readers and we hope that our words help you on your writing journey! 

Mentored by a Community

This Week's Topic: Paying It Forward:
Did anyone give me sound advice? Did I have a mentor?
How do I pay it (mentorship) forward without getting buried by requests?

Once upon a time, in the days of snail-mailing hardcopies of queries and manuscripts, I had the good sense to join a writing guild that was both local, virtual, and national. I could attend a monthly in-person meeting and make social connections as well as learn from experts in writing and specific trades that heroes and heroines often occupied. The person in charge of our local special programs was brilliant and well-connected and we had an absolute blast. The virtual guild gave me access to free classes taught by agents and editors. It also kept us up-to-date with the latest scuttlebutt in our niche market.  Alas, the local guild was forced to disband by the national organization, the virtual guild crumbled to infighting, then the national guild imploded. 

I'll be forever grateful to the organization in its many aspects because it was one of the few that accepted total n00bs and taught us everything from story structure, to how to query, to what the hell a synopsis is (long and short), and it gave us access to the gatekeepers of publishing--who were 97% inaccessible to anyone outside NYC back then. 

So, to answer this week's question: Did I have a mentor? No, not as a specific individual. I had a community. It was through that community that I met the founder and original bloggers of this very blog. Back then, we were known as the Word Whores. 11 years later, we're still sharing our experiences with readers.

How do I pay it forward without getting buried by requests? I'm not connected to any particular community anymore, so requests aren't often made of me. I'm akin to a crow sitting in the branches watching the goings on. When a cry for help catches my attention--if I'm suited to fulfill the ask--then I offer. 

Paying It Forward Without Breaking the Bandwidth

 

THE LONG NIGHT OF THE RADIANT STAR - Jak and Stella's midwinter holiday wedding - is out now!

      

This week of U.S. Thanksgiving, at the SFF Seven, we're talking about Paying it forward. We're asking:

Did anyone give you truly sound advice?

Did you have a mentor and if so how do you pay it forward without getting buried by requests?

I've been truly blessed in having numerous mentors and lovely, gracious people willing to give me advice. The one I'll single out today is SFWA Past-President, Nebula-Award winner, and wonderful author of science fiction, sf mysteries, fantasy, and near future thrillers, Catherine Asaro. When I was shopping my first fantasy romance novel, sometime around 2008/2009, Catherine did me the huge favor of reading the book for me. I kept getting enthusiasm from agents and editors, and full manuscript requests, but they all came back with "no," saying they didn't know what to with the book or how to market it. I'd run out of ideas for how to revise the book so it would sell.

Catherine read it and said - the first person to say this to me - that the only "problem" was that I was writing cross-genre. She told me the story was good and that I was a good writer (things I desperately needed to hear), but that if I kept writing this fantasy + romance cross-genre, it would be like wading through hip-deep snow to succeed with it. She also told me she thought it was worth doing. 

She was right on both counts.

As for paying it forward... I do that as much as I can. I volunteer to mentor through SFWA and other fundraisers. I offer advice in various arenas where I think people genuinely want to hear it. (Few things are more frustrating to me than putting energy into offering advice to people who don't listen.) I have my podcast, First Cup of Coffee with Jeffe Kennedy, where I talk about writing and publishing (and other random thoughts). All of these venues allow me to control how much bandwidth I devote to mentoring others. In truth, I started my Author Coaching side business entirely so I'd have a way to charge money for my time and energy, when the bandwidth wasn't enough. 

That said, if you catch me in person at a con, I'm always happy to chat over an adult beverage. Offerings of chocolate are also acceptable!

Telling vs. showing – when is narrative exposition necessary?

 

Ah, the old “telling versus showing” debate. My pet peeve in terms of feedback because it's often lazy feedback. You can point to any book and identify “telling”, because, well, if we were to show EVERYTHING, we'd be here for decades. We’d have to invent unnecessary situations so our characters can experience things (or add endless dream, vision, or flashback scenes) rather than just saying, "King Tella and Queen Showa's feud had lasted over a decade, ever since the Queen had stolen the King's favorite courtesan." Do you really want me to show this? Because that's a story in its own right … a juicy one at that.

Granted, pages of exposition are often tedious and confusing. Some fantasies start with a whole section of weighty exposition setting out the lore and history of the world, and on more than one occasion, it’s put me off to such a great degree, I’ve given up on the book altogether. Some people love it, but it’s not my jam. I’m more of a throw-me-in-at-the-deep-end-and-explain-stuff-along-the-way kinda gal.

And as part of that, I love a bit of timely exposition, which in fantasy worlds especially, is essential. Readers may need to know that gravity doesn't work the same way in the Sky Kingdom – even if the characters aren’t there right now – or that there are seven gods, or that the magic fled the kingdoms along with the dragons.

I often find this makes the first half of the first book in many fantasy stories feel slow, because of the necessity of creating depth in the world. There’s a lot the reader NEEDS to understand, and showing everything is neither practical nor entertaining. Exposition is the solution – so long as it doesn’t drag and become boring – although hey, we've all done it. No one's perfect. 

A single line of exposition can pack a big punch. For example, “Marcus couldn’t tell if the damnable Alexander had used magic, because he hadn’t paid attention during his five years at the Sparkle Academy for the Magically Talented.” This single line tells us magic exists, the world has at least one magical school, that Marcus thinks Alexander is damnable (ooh, tell me why?), that Alexander and Marcus both have some level of magical abilities, and that Marcus can’t use his effectively, because he didn’t pay attention in school. Is he a bad-boy rebel? Was he saving the world on the side? Distracted by a love interest? Or did the backwards education system simply leave him behind?

The point being, exposition isn’t only there for understanding and worldbuilding, it can drive intrigue as well as helping to build emotional connections between readers and characters. 

Character introspection (when we hear a character’s private thoughts) is also a form of exposition, yet seems to have largely escaped the "telling versus showing" criticism. Characters’ thoughts are often my favorite things to read, because a single line can color my entire outlook on a character and all their actions, not to mention, cast the actions of others in an entirely new light. Perspective is everything, after all.

Again, most things are good in moderation. Telling isn't necessarily bad, but the criticism “telling versus showing” has become something of a cliche. I wish people would instead say why this was annoying to them. Was the exposition too long? Confusing? Unnecessary? Did it take them out of the moment?

There is no right or wrong way to write a book, there is only what is conventional and what is popular, which you may or may not enjoy. No one's word is law, our tastes differ, and thus, there is no perfect amount of exposition. Some readers like to have everything laid out on a platter up front, others enjoy not understanding everything right away, viewing finding out as part of the fun. And neither of these preferences is better than the other, it is just that, a preference. But if I were making the rules, I would ban the criticism "telling versus showing" because, well yes, sometimes exposition is not only practical, but desirable. Surely it’s about balance, as in all things.

HR Moore writes escapist fantasy with dangerous politics and swoon-worthy romance. She’s known for pacy writing, plot twists, and heroines who take no prisoners … and she loves a cliffhanger. HR also started FaRoFeb (Fantasy Romance February), a community for readers and authors to elevate and celebrate the fantasy romance genre. 

You can connect with HR Moore here: https://linktr.ee/hrmoore

Show and Tell Short Hand

Totally off topic, I'm going to brag for a minute. This handsome man with the nearly opposable thumbs is Hemingway, the neighborhood feral. He found me shortly after I moved in. I established a feeding station for him and all was well until  he showed up limping. After a lot of blood (mine), tears, and hoping, and wishing, I got him healed up. I also managed to convince him that he might be a great big marshmallow underneath that tough feral exterior. Last weekend, I delivered him to his HEA - his forever family. Hell of a delivery trip. They're in Erie, PA. You'll note I am not. As I was completing the trip home, his new family texted to say they were sitting with him and petting his belly. I think he's turned in his feral card. 

I'm grateful for the gift of his trust and for his new family. I'm also going to miss him.
 

 

 Show versus Tell. 

It confused me for years. Which one should I use when? Sure, I heard the advice about showing deepening character POV. It didn't click for me until someone suggested I draft everything in first person. That did the trick. It became obvious that immersing myself into the story and the character with a simple "I" brought the world, the other people in that world, and the reactions into much better focus. It became easier to understand that my characters needed to describe what they saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and felt. It helped, but didn't entirely eliminate, major POV violations where my characters assign meaning or motive to someone that they couldn't possibly know without being psychic.

Tell Example: He saw a tree.

Show Example: Cool shadow punctuated by glints of sunlight painted the ground beneath the limbs of the oak into a patchwork quilt of fallen leaves, acorns, and sticks. This passage tells you a little about the character who's taking in all of that detail. Could be someone looking for a shady spot to rest. Could be a squirrel hunting nuts for a winter food stash. Regardless, you probably see that scene. You may feel something from it. 

Lovely, Marcella, but this doesn't address when to use one and when to use the other. Not to worry. I got you. I think.

Showing is for deepening reader connection with your characters and your story. It's for pointing up what's important to the character and to the plot. The detail inherent in showing offers your readers hints about what they should pay attention to - this is where red herrings go if you're writing mystery. It's also where the actual clues go. Showing conveys emotion and sinks deep hooks into readers. Showing lends weight to whatever it is you are showing through your character's senses and experiences. Showing takes a reader by the shoulders and shouts PAY ATTENTION.

Telling is for passing action and transitions. The more detail you offer me in a tell, the more I, as a reader, think the detail matters to the plot. Unless you've poisoned it, I do not need you to show me someone reaching for the dull, aged bronze doorknob that's oddly warm in their grasp as if someone else's hand had just left it. Telling passages are for conveying the most necessary stage directions. He opened the door is perfectly adequate if he truly just opened a door without running into fire, zombies, or a hell mouth on the other side. If the important bit is to get the character through the door to the actual scene on the other side, tell me and move on.

Show what matters. Tell stage directions that do not impact plot or character. How do you keep them straight??

Narrative Expo—what?

I will show you a picture 

and tell you how soft and dark the pine forest looked from above

When I pick up a book, or listen to a book, I want to be sucked into the story. I want to experience what the characters are experiencing—see what they’re seeing and feel what they’re feeling. So, what does that have to do with narrative exposition?

This week we’re talking about telling versus showing and when is narrative exposition necessary. If you’re not one of those technical writers, like me, this kind of jargon may float over your head as superfluous. Anyway, here’s the definition:

Narrative Exposition: is when background information is dropped into the story to catch the reader up on necessary details

Every story needs to give the reader background information. If you’re reading a mystery/thriller you usually learn it as the character is searching for the truth. If you’re cracking open a sci-fi you’ll likely get a few paragraphs describing some aspect of the advanced world you find yourself in, just enough to ground you. And if you’re digging into a fantasy you might learn about the background from a helpful healer or a guard who likes to talk. 

As Charissa mentioned in her Sunday post, every story needs what it needs. Show enough detail to settle your reader into the story. And, as Jeffe’s agent says, sometimes you need to tell your reader in a line or two to get the info out so you can move on and wax poetic. 

If you’re not sure if you’re writing is too heavy on the telling, find a bookish friend to give it a read! I highly suggest finding someone that reads in the genre you write in, otherwise what is common and expected could be flagged as confusing. But after all is said and done, don’t be afraid. Just write. Don’t get hung up on writing-rules because it’s always easier to fix a bunch of showing or telling than it is to fix a blank page. 

Happy writing! 

When to Ditch Showing and Just Tell

Coming Soon! THE LONG NIGHT OF THE RADIANT STAR. 

This is a novella in the Heirs of Magic series and occurs after THE STORM PRINCESS AND THE RAVEN KING. It's Jak and Stella's wedding on the longest night, the Feast of Moranu. I think I'll release it on Monday, November 21, 2022. No preorder this time. I'll post when it goes live!!

***

 At long last, Jakral Konyngrr—lowly sailor, gambler, and sometime rogue—has won the heart and hand of Princess Stella of Avonlidgh. Never mind that Stella’s mother is determined to make their wedding the event of the century, he’s happy to endure any trial to marry the love of his life and his guiding star. Very soon they can sail away together into the rest of their lives. Unfortunately the wedding becomes delayed for several months, until midwinter.

Stella—sorceress, empath, and bearer of the mark of the Tala—has been through great trials. But nothing has tested her as sorely as her passionate and flamboyant mother planning their wedding. Even Jak’s steady love and companionship isn’t enough as Stella finds herself crumbling under the pressure of being snowbound in a castle with the press of so many minds and emotions. When she lashes out, she hits the worst possible target, jeopardizing her chances for happiness.

With several kingdoms and a former enemy empire bearing down on them, Jak and Stella’s wedding on the longest night of year might not happen at all… Unless they can create their own happy ever after. 

***

This week at the SFF Seven, we're talking about Telling vs. Showing, particularly we're examining when some narrative exposition is needed.

It's an interesting question, and one very much focused on genre fiction. Many of you know I began my writing career in creative nonfiction. For many years I wrote and sold essays. My first book was an essay collection. At no point in that time - in classes, in critique groups, in discussions with editors - did anyone bring up Telling vs. Showing. It was only after I began writing fantasy romance (etc.) that the concept was introduced to me. I had to learn not to use the narrative exposition that had worked so well for my creative nonfiction voice, but to "show" instead.

Why is this a thing?

The oft-cited example is attributed to Anton Chekhov: "Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." It turns out this exact quote is probably apocryphal. A passage from the article I linked to says:

In May, 1886, Chekhov wrote to his brother Alexander, who had literary ambitions: “In descriptions of Nature one must seize on small details, grouping them so that when the reader closes his eyes he gets a picture. For instance, you’ll have a moonlit night if you write that on the mill dam a piece of glass from a broken bottle glittered like a bright little star, and that the black shadow of a dog or a wolf rolled past like a ball.”

It's salient to note that he's talking about description here. When my genre-fiction editors and critique partners introduced the concept to me, they framed it as a way to deepen the point of view (POV). In genre fiction, in particular, readers love to be immersed in the characters and world, thus the incentive to deepen POV.

I worked diligently to learn to show, not tell.

Fast-forward to my current agent, the insightful and incisive Sarah Younger at Nancy Yost Literary Agency. One day, after reading one of my manuscripts we planned to take on submission to traditional publishing, she said, "Jeffe, I know you work really hard to show, not tell, but sometimes we just need a line or two telling us what the heck is going on."

And she was right. I was so busy describing the glint of light on broken glass that I was failing to explain that this world had three moons.

In the end, as with all things, it comes down to balance. We need both in order to tell effective stories: immersive description and deep POV, along with some clear narrative exposition to ground the reader in the world. 

I'm getting better at it!