Exploiting Emotion

Jeffe told the perfect Dustin Hoffman and Laurence Olivier story earlier this week. I'm happy to report the incident DID happen, according to Dustin Hoffman. 

Riffing off of what Jeffe talked about, I've come to say the story gives us a glimpse into the two distinct acting traditions these two men came from. Hoffman is a Method actor. It's a very American (by way of Russia) way to approach veracity in acting. The short theory behind it is that only honesty reaches through the divide between actor and audience. The actor must feel whatever the character feels or else the character won't read as true to the audience. Olivier came from the British acting tradition which, based as it is, so firmly in Shakespeare, focuses on technique. Another infamous Olivier quote goes something like "It isn't my job to feel anything. It's my job to make you feel what I want you to feel.' This one likely is apocryphal, but I can't prove that as a search for it took me straight to one of those 'hi-jack your box attempt' websites. It was just a story that got told at acting school. Since it shores up the technique (I don't feel) versus Method (I feel everything) acting arguments, we'll accept it. The theory to technique is that by mastering text, subtext, vocal range, and physicality, a technical actor can evoke emotional reaction in an audience.

The different schools are about establishing honesty. Modern audiences don't want to see actors acting, very much like readers don't generally want author intrusion in stories. In both cases, viewers and readers long to be swept up in the story as if they were standing in the protagonist's shoes themselves. To bring viewers and readers  as close to the work as humanly possible, actors and writers must play on some deep-seated psychological truths about humans.

Humans are deeply empathetic creatures. Whether we want to be or not, we are social animals. Our survival as a species relies on our ability to unconsciously and universally identify emotion from the faintest shifting of an expression or body language. This skill is available to us as infants. It's that important. More interestingly, for a brief moment, when we identify an emotion in someone else, we mirror it as if by trying on the expression we see in someone else confirms for us what feeling is associated with it.  Performers of all kinds learn to leverage it.

Can you see where Method and technique come at exploiting human emotional hot buttons from different directions? Method makes you mirror the feeling you see the actor experiencing. A technical actor has the physical, vocal, and body language skills so well rehearsed that they can choreograph the exact sequence of techniques to hit so as to elicit the emotions they want from an audience.

This is a lot of words to come at how I approach emotion in a novel. My only goal is to make emotion clear, clean, and cutting. If my character is laughing, I want you smiling along with her. If she's terrified, I want you looking over your shoulder. Method - me feeling the feelings  and then jotting them down is fast and easy. However, it's also easier to muddy the emotions and it's easy to get lost in the emo. Also, it's  a tough lesson, but just because I feel the fear, it doesn't mean I'm going to do a good job of communicating it to readers. Actors have faces and bodies for audiences to read. Writers have to build those things before readers can be impacted by them. Technique - word choices, paring complex emotion stacks down to bare bones, describing clear physical cues, sentence length, and white space - offers a tool kit that helps me manipulate readers into feeling what I need them to feel.

It will be no surprise to you that I feel like both are necessary. The trick with Method work is to use it to call up a reminder of a feeling. Technique then catalogues the details. Where do I feel that in the body. What does it feel like? What's my breath doing? What's the sensation? Where? What happens if it heightens? What does it feel like as it drains away? It's interesting to me that every human on earth may experience fear in personal and specific ways, but the experience is so recognizable, that even our 6 month old infants can identify and mirror it. That means I can give you my personal experience of emotion in a story and you will experience your version of that emotion - not mine. And I don't care. My job is not to make you feel what I feel. My job is to trigger you to experience your own emotions with the story I'm telling. My emotions will ring hollow to anyone but me. A story only comes to life if the emotion I write accesses your emotions. That's the only way a book can read as true to a broad audience.

So the answer is both. Both is good. I do need to feel. Some. I need to not feel enough that I can remain critical and objective enough to leverage solid technique.

The Biggest Problem is Between the Keyboard and the Chair

 

My greatest writing challenge. Hmm. How much time do you have? I've been through a list in my head. I thought about saying 'drafting' which is true, but it's a symptom. Not the root cause. Okay. So then I thought about claiming that carving time out to write was my greatest challenge but that leads to the fact that I'm stupidly slow to write. Which again, is a symptom, not the root cause. All of these lead back to one single factor and that's me. I'm the problem.

My brain is addicted to getting it right. No. I don't know what 'it' is. But my brain is wired to believe that there's  a Right and a Wrong way to put a story together. Can we all agree there are a million ways to tell the same story and none of them is wrong or right? Can we tell my brain? My head believes I'm a terrible person and will be haunted for the rest of my life if I get my story wrong. I wrote all that and I know it's not a rational way to live life. But there it is. My single greatest writing challenge: spending an hour over a single paragraph trying to get the words  and the feeling of it just right.

To top this nonsense off, I add in a day job, a house perpetually full of too many people, and a deeply introverted nature that gets zero true alone time. It's a recipe for a great big mess. Which is an apt description of the situation.

It did take some time for me to realize that writing requires me to unmask. I can't give over brain space to characters and conflict and still maintain a pleasant expression. Can't do it. I need to be able to be completely unmask the autism while I write and the utter lack of expression (or what gets taken as a mean expression) makes the fam SUPER uncomfortable.

I almost highlighted and deleted this whole blog post because my brain is telling me that this isn't what anyone wanted to know or read. I should just write a light, surface piece about how I find drafting to be difficult and what steps I take to work through it. I'm resisting that voice. Maybe what I'm posting is wrong. Or dull. Or too random or whiny or whatever else these synapses and electrical currents are trying to get me to buy. Fine. I'll be all those things.

To address the situation, I'm building fences around writing time - time when I can close and lock a door and everyone else can adult while I write. The next step is to close out distractions - for one hour of writing time, I have the work computer on, too, and that is not at all an ideal situation. That needs to be handled. I've made a bargain with myself to free write scenes a couple of different ways so I can pick the bits that hit just right from all of them. It's still slow - but it's faster than agonizing word by word and sentence by sentence. I'm slowly working for speed again. It'll take a bit before I actually talk about speed but at least there's a plan and a framework. I'm also working on allowing myself to feel my way through a scene rather than worrying about how it sounds. I have a long term goal of kicking the day job to the curb. It's barely a shine of a rising star on the horizon, but it is there. Step by step. Word by word. I'm following that star.

Pinch Points - Force of Change

 

Two nights ago, one of my cats alerted me to an interloper in our backyard. I caught a glimpse of this youngster at left. I grabbed my trap and had him within the hour. He's cute and terrified. He went into foster care today with someone who has no other pets and who doesn't have a day job, a book to write, and ill parents to tend. (The past two weeks have been a lot.) This guy - oh, yes. He's male. No doubt about that or the fact that he's intact - made up for some of the stress. He's a teenaged cat at that point where he looks like he's made from mismatched spare parts. His head is too big for his body. His legs are too long and skinny for the rest of him. It makes him adorable and a little comical at the same time. He will be looking for home the southeast region once I have him neutered and vaxxed.

 

On to the business of the blog! This week, you'll be able to divide us into two camps - the plotters and the pantsers - just based on our response to the Pinch Point question. As if you didn't already know.

Pinch Points are a structural device that gives an author an opportunity to bring an antagonist into direct opposition to the protagonist with the sole intent of showing up the protagonist's short comings. If we think about story and character arc forcing a protagonist to change, the pinch point is the place where the protagonist finds out *why* change is necessary: Throughout most of our novels, the protagonist doesn't have the skills to overcome the antagonist. If they did, we'd write mighty short stories. Our heroes need to grow into their roles. They need to become something more in order to best whatever obstacles are arrayed against them. Yet our heroes will fight stepping up at every turn.

Humans are weird animals. You'd think we'd be all about change given that adaptation and flexibility confers evolutionary advantage. If we can't adapt, we die. Yet we have to be dragged kicking and screaming to change. Our characters are no different. They must be forced to change. Pinch Points are one of the ways an author can force a character to transform in some way. 

All of this to say that no. I don't consciously use them, much less plan them. It depends entirely on what a story needs. Some stories are about the inevitable march of a character's choices and actions leading them, step by inexorable step into the climax of the story. There's a Sarah McLachlan song with a line that says "Where every step I took in faith betrayed me." I used that as my plotting device for a couple of books because it interested me - could I have characters who made the absolute right choices in the moment only to have those choices rip them to shreds?

Right now, in the current WIP, Pinch Points fell by accident into my lap. The antagonists have POVs, and in those cases, they do act as catalysts to my protagonists. So I guess those are a kind of Pinch Point? I suspect they are Pinch Points by the letter of the law rather than in the spirit of it. Long way of saying if I have Pinch Points in this book, it's a freaking accident, but after the fact if you ask me, I'll totally claim I meant to do that.

Word Count, Chapters, and Structure

 The very last thing I worry about when drafting is structure. I suppose I've learned that a story starts out with a character thinking that their goal is one thing only to have a twist or decision point at the 1/4 mark that uncovers the true goal. Because they pursue that goal and believe they're making progress, at about the half way point, everything is going to go to hell in a hand basket because the character runs up against the main challenge of the book and yet the character hasn't yet changed enough overcome that challenge. So they run face first into it. WHAM. Fail. Fall. And have to wander off to lick their wounds. And they have to make another decision. Either give up or double down. So on and so forth. 

The problem for me is that I have to throw all of that to the wind when I draft. This is because drafting is slow and difficult for me and I want nothing analytical to pull me out of whatever tenuous drafting space I can achieve. Numbers and divisions and did this decision point happen in the right spot are all worries for a much later date. So I start a draft. No chapters. Just words. Get to The End.

NOW I put on the analytical hat. Now I start looking at over all structure. I go through and arbitrarily assign chapters roughly every ten pages. I'm looking for a natural scene break or place to end on a hook. Some chapters are ten pages, some eight, some twelve. Until rewrites.

As I go through my own dev edits and work through punching up emotion and language and scenes, my arbitrary chapters begin to tell me what they need to look like. Some book keep the ten page chapter convention without issue - most of the SFRs do that (it's easier with only one or two POV characters.) The current WIP, however, has some super short chapters, and one or two long ones. The chapters follow POV shifts because there's an extended cast with several points of view. The book is supposed to be fast, but full of sensory detail and the turned out that the best way to put a reader into a scene was to invite them into each character's world.

Long way of saying that I don't maintain a word count list for scenes or for chapters or for turning points. Structure is a wire frame in my head, yes, but as the Pirates of the Caribbean would say that's, ". . .more guidelines than actual rules." Do I check out that my first decision point happens within the first 25k of a 100k novel? Absolutely. Usually, the earlier the better for me and for my reader. I can get right to the action. Spreadsheets can be great things. Word counts can be great things. But depending on who you are and what your process looks like, they can completely shut you down. The only way to find out is to try them and judge the results. If you are someone who wants to keep things vague and open and full of possibility, consider this your permission slip to learn what structure works for you, store that structure in your muscle memory, and then just draft. Impose logical structure in your editing phase.

We'll be the Ghost Busters of writing: Don't cross the creative/drafting and analytical/editing streams. It would be bad.

Figuring Out What Readers Expect When They Don't Know They Expect Anything

HAPPY PRIDE!!

I must learn to stop suggesting topics I want the answer to. I should keep in mind that at some point, I'm going to have to pretend to know some version of an answer.

So yes. Analyzing genre reader expectations is something I'm interested in understanding. I have a friend who speaks in terms of hitting reader buttons. One of her examples is that somewhere in the first third of a romance, the heroine sees through the hero's BS. She sees who he could have been (and could still be) if only he hadn't been forced to develop callouses and scars on his heart and seeing that dichotomy makes her MAD. Now, I would never have ID'ed that particular point, but thinking it through, I see it. So it got me thinking about what other hot buttons I'm reading right over the top of unseeing.

I know what *I* want to see in a story. I'm not entirely certain I'm the best benchmark, however.  Then I got involved in a fandom for a show (a rom com). The fandom skews younger than my typical audience and I do a lot of listening. The fan analysis of the show has been DEEP and I'm soaking it up because I'm getting glimpses into what lights these young people up. One of them made a great observation that they aren't like the generations before them who all want to be comforted and made to feel content and happy. She said, "We don't want any of that. We *want* you to rip out our hearts and squeeze them dry." There were many pile-on comments affirming this, though I won't take it as The Truth for an entire generation - but for this rabid and insanely loyal fan base, I will take it as gospel.

I'm still trying to process it and see if somewhere in my own work I can pull some angst into the mix. My take away: Read. Yes, absolutely. But don't stop there. Seek out stories in every format and look at the beats. What happens where? When? Why? What sticks with you? In my case, having this totally over the top fandom picking apart every scene, every nuance, and every breath the characters take has been an amazing master class in understanding what touched the most people in the biggest way. Spoiler: It was tiny detail in the developing relationship - not the big gestures. The smallest touch at the point of greatest danger ruined the Twitter feed for that fandom for months. Months. That's the kind of genre reader expectation I'm looking for - an expectation readers might not be able to name, yet crave all the same without knowing. Then, if I'm clever, I turn that expectation on its head a bit and leave my readers in puddles on the floor. But no pressure.

Consuming stories is a good start if you're analyzing expectations but I feel like it's possible to consume passively - to just take in and experience. The real power comes from a sense of curiosity around what makes something affect you, how it affects you, and why it affects you. Only then can you parse out the pieces and rearrange them to your own purpose. Finding a group of people who are impacted by the same story you are and who are willing to obsess about it at length with you helps enormously. But it's 100% optional.

Who Reads Me

I've gone and done it again - forgotten what day it is, what my name is, all the things. New day job started on Monday and the transition has been -- transitiony. Apparently, I don't handle that as well as I'd like to. So once again, my apology. Technically, in my time zone is still Friday. Barely. So let's go. 

What's my demographic.

SFR has a small but dedicated audience. It's a rare reader who wants me to get scifi in their romance and romance in their scifi, but like Reese's Peanut butter Cups, the two things are better together. When I contemplate where to find readers, I start with the obvious: I market to readers of other SFR writers and SF writers who write with romantic elements. Cant I say that the great bulk of my readers identify as female? Yes. But in no way do I want to say that's who my books are for - that's not for me to decide. I will claim gamers as potential audience but only RPG gamers and probably only RPG gamers who identify as female who are between 20 and dead. When I'm buying ads, I'll probably split my audience by age and do A/B testing to see what kind of click through I get from each so I can then laser in my targeting.

The great thing about science fiction and fantasy readers is that most of us will cross the streams. We usually read both. So while I might focus most of my advertising efforts on self-identified scifi readers, I won't hesitate to enter fantasy spaces in a limited way to do a little cross pollenization. I'm not spending money on ads at the moment. As I finish up a WIP, I begin working my author FB page and Instagram page and Tik Tok (if I'm going to commit to doing that) to develop engagement. No selling. Just engagement. Generate page views. Generate interaction. Start conversation if I can. That way, when I finish a book and begin promoting, my ad buys will be served to people who have already seen, heard, chatted with me. If I want to tap a PNR or fantasy audience, I tap the author coop I belong to. Newsletter swaps, blog swaps - there are plenty of options that aren't going to chew up a lot of money. 

It's not a great marketing plan yet. In part because I don't have production nailed down yet. I need something flexible but scalable over the long haul. I do still firmly believe that the best advertisement for your current book is your next book. But a plan for helping people find your books is a good and necessary thing.

Now Serving Number . . . Writing What's Next

Most of us who've been writing for awhile operate under this sneaking suspicion that there's some deep, insider secret to publishing. If only we could suss it out, we'd finally, FINALLY, be set. We'd know what to write and when to write it. We'd write best sellers and we'd finally get to sit with the cool kids.

I don't want to alarm anyone but I think I found that secret. One of them anyway. It's this: There are no right answers. Not to any question about writing.

There are answers that might be better than others but even that word 'better' is up for debate. Better for whom? And why? Who gets to decide that? Maybe now you have some insight into how and why I overthink everything ever. It's a gift and a real pain in the ass. It turns the whole question of what to write next into a whirlwind of second guessing and analysis paralysis. There's very little fun involved. Given all of that, I had to come up with a system. Two systems actually.

1. Orders of precedence - write first anything constrained by contract or owed to another entity you do not wish to disappoint. If no contract, write first anything that is already underway and write it to completion. If nothing is currently in the works or contracted, write whatever will feed the fire of whichever audience burns brightest. If there's no obvious audience salivating for a book from you, write what you please.

2. Bright, shiny new ideas that popcorn up while I'm in the middle of a WIP must take a number and stand in line.

In practice, this means I have a way to direct myself toward completing a project. I have a few checks to weigh story ideas against. Most of the time, there's a clear answer to what I should write. The second system - the one about new ideas is a defense mechanism. There's nothing like hitting the sagging middle of a WIP to generate bright, shiny, compelling, BETTER story ideas. The big secret about that, though, is that those stories, too, have saggy, boring middles to be muddled through. Ask my pile of half finished projects how I know this. I had to come up with a redirect that worked for me. When a new idea comes courting, I stop what I'm doing and jot down notes about the idea - bare bones. I want just enough to scratch the itch of capturing this flash of seeming brilliance </sarcasm> so I can follow the thought later when I come back to the idea to flesh it out. If I can. By dignifying the idea with a page of summary and a named file folder in Dropbox, my brain lets me get back to what I had been writing without the tugs and pulls of needing to chase the new thing.

However. I'm finding I need a new system to handle what I should write next and that's because there comes a time in most every life where writing fails. Or we fail. Or imagination fails. Or physical or mental illness claims all the space and the spoons we had to write. Sometimes the 'should' part of 'what should I write next' is the worst and most self-sabotaging question we can pose to ourselves. Some days you can't answer that 'should' question. Then it might help to default to asking 'what can I write?'

Just because we sit or stand at computers all day and make stuff up doesn't mean we aren't working our hearts out. We're spinning some of these stories out of the essence of ourselves and yes, it's likely that we get energy back from what we do, or else why do it? But the rest of our lives might not be quite so generous about returning dividends on spent energy and we overspend ourselves. Writing can be a refuge, it's just a good practice to treat a refuge gently, with respect. It can be freeing to throw off expectation for a little while and plunge into a story that doesn't have a logical place in your catalogue and nothing to recommend it other than it might be fun to try to write.

Writer's Business

Most of the time, we writers labor in isolation whether writing or working the business side of publishing. Taxes, contracts, negotiations (if you don't have an agent doing that for you), covers, marketing copy, and hiring subcontractors - it can be a lot. But there are times where one lonely writer's business is every writers' business. The WGA strike is the perfect example. An entire class of writers aren't being compensated fairly for their work and that matters to all of us. If it doesn't, it should. What impacts one part of the publishing world eventually escapes containment to infect the entire industry. Writers who stick together to fight for fair wages and workers rights continue writing into the future without having to sell a kidney to keep food on the table.

Another way one writer's business becomes every writers business is via tell-all blogs and databases that call out the so called 'professionals' who take advantage of writers. Witness the SFWA Writers Beware website. This is a resource that exists solely to call out bad actors in the industry - those who prey upon writers with less than ethical practices. Other authors offer in-depth blogs, classes, communities, or mentorships around the best business practices for writers. Some focus on traditional publishing, others on indie publishing. There's information out there for just about every writer and, in some cases, the Writer Beware website can help route out those of dubious value.

While you don't want to be glued incessantly to the dramas engulfing the publishing business, you do want to remain aware. Supporting a writers' strike in one sector of the business has a net positive ripple effect on your own business. If nothing else, it teaches us to never work without a contract or complete control of our intellectual property. Writing and the business of writing can be isolating pursuits. Keeping a finger on the pulse of the industry, however, pulls you out of isolation a little bit. It gives us the opportunity to engage in the larger body of writers, leaning on each others' business experience and expertise.

Embrace the Boredom

I am visiting the PNW this week. We're in Port Townsend for a day or two before moving on to our next spot so you get a glimpse of the Victorian history that makes the town famous before we talk about staving off boredom while writing long books.

Some people naturally write short books - this can be anywhere from 55k words up to 75k. These people are good at getting to the point and at diving right into conflict. Then there are those of us who revel in complication. Our books are long, usually 100k. Possibly more. Possibly much, much more. We wouldn't know simple if it started chewing on our faces. I feel it's important to acknowledge that neither is superior to the other. Stories are still the result and there is no perfect length for a book. So before we dive into how not to bore yourself to tears whilst writing a longer book, let's acknowledge that not everyone is cut out to write long books. Just like I am not cut out to write short. No. That's wrong. I can write short. I have done. What I cannot do is write simple. I'm allergic to straightforward plots without dozens of other threads woven through. The one time I forced myself to do so the plot was - well - weak. So don't feel badly if you start a long book and it just doesn't work. It may not be your strength. Don't volunteer to be the fish who tries to climb a tree. With that painful metaphor etched in your brain, let's talk long books.

Long books need a lot of plot. They need extra conflict. They need bigger stakes and bigger problems to be solved. You probably won't find many stories about saving the world or all life on earth that run about 55k words long. It just usually takes a little longer to get to there. Longer books are where you bring in secondary story lines involving secondary and tertiary characters - so long as it all contrasts or reinforces the main story. In longer books, complications breed complications, raising tensions and obstacles for characters to overcome. This also means that your characters have a lot to conquer in themselves. Whatever their flaws or weaknesses that keep them from solving all the problems right now, they need to be either deep seated enough or the character obstinate enough to need extra time (and extra pain) to bring about real change in the character. It's a lot to juggle and it's what you'll need to keep yourself tuned into the rise and fall of conflict across the long expanse of words you have to write. So how do you keep from getting bored? You don't. Sorry to break it to you but when you write longer books, you get bored. It's just part of the process. You've been in the story for so long, mucking around in the workings, solving problems, working out the bumps and stops, there's simply no human way to not get sick to death of it. You will. So your only hope is to plan for it and to push through it. Unless. Unless you can take a pause and look for a twist even you didn't see coming until you go to this 'wow, I hate this story' spot. Sometimes it works and you'll plow on with renewed energy and a mental note to rewrite your synopsis. The rest of the time, you just have to embrace the pain of 'story doesn't care how you feel, hush up and put the words in'. The good news is that your boredom will rarely last past the ramp to the 3/4 crisis. The other good news is that just because you're bored, it doesn't necessarily follow that readers will be. You're bored because familiarity breeds contempt. You're too close. Knowing that won't dispel boredom, but it might be enough assurance to get a few thousand more words out of you. The only other advice I can offer is to remember to turn into conflict. Your characters might not like pain, but you need to love it for them. Think of a long book as your villain origin story - learn to enjoy torturing your characters (and thereby your readers) for fun and profit. That makes the long slog a bit more entertaining.

For the Aspiring Author

 

Remember why you do what you do. Hang on to it and don't let go. You started writing for a reason - because it was fun, because you wanted the story you couldn't find elsewhere, because it kept you sane, because insert your reason here. Writing and publishing comprise a long, challenging journey. You'll climb to amazing vistas. You'll descend into fetid swamps that you think will never end. In between you'll trudge through impenetrable jungles and endless plains where the scenery never changes and you'll wonder if that's all there is. And the fact is that yes. That is all there is. The journey. Footstep after footstep. Story after story.

Your why will be your map through the wilderness. It will lead you through the droughts, the storms, and the darkest nights. Create the scenery you wish you could see in the books your write. Become the people you wish you could be in the characters you create.

Remember why you do what you do. Remember who and what you are. You're a writer. You create what hadn't existed in the world until you dreamed and toiled it into being. The power to create is the greatest power on earth. The history of humanity is told in stories. Humans make sense of the world and of existence through stories. Your stories are necessary. So remember why you do what you do. It matters.

Throwback Promo

I'm presenting a throwback to a little UF number called Nightmare Ink.
 

With the needle of a tattoo gun, Isa Romanchzyk has the power to create and destroy. In her shop Nightmare Ink, Isa helps those in need by binding the powers embedded in their Live Ink—the magical tattoos that can enhance the life of the wearer, or end it. But binding tattoos has earned Isa the contempt of her fellow artists—including her former lover Daniel.

When a friend comes to the shop with a tattoo on the verge of killing him, Isa can’t turn him away. For the first time in years, rather than binding and destroying the tattoo, she fixes it, working Live Ink into her friend’s skin, something she'd sworn she’d never do again. Breaking her vow soon becomes the least of her problems.

Isa is horrified to discover her friend’s body in the shop, but the real nightmare begins when she’s abducted and inked with a Living Tattoo against her will. Now, as she seeks retribution from the man who betrayed her, Isa must figure out how to bind her Living Tattoo before it consumes her completely...

Excerpt:

Isa tripped, landing on the big, sharp-edged stones of a railroad grade, her foot still hooked on one rusty metal rail of the track. The pushes of strength from the alien other inside her skin had evaporated. So Isa crawled, her hair and sheet dragging through foul-smelling puddles. The raven leading her away from her prison hopped in front of her as if afraid to leave her sight. When she paused in a vain attempt to catch her breath, the bird took up a strand of her filthy hair and pulled. 

Freedom, the male voice sighed into her head. The Ink.

Isa shuddered. Her strength failed, and she folded to the ground. At least it was dry. Was she lying on sand? Or concrete? How far had she gotten? 

Far. 

Why couldn’t she remember? The raven shrieked. 

Why? the male voice in her head whispered. Why debilitate you? 

“To break my spirit,” Isa murmured. “To break my will.” 

So I could break you. 

“And break free of me, yes.” 

He intends for me to kill you. 

“Yes.” 

Release me. 

“No.” 

He didn’t break you. He couldn’t. 

“Not like that.”

Luck Fuel

 How do we know that Marcella is back at the day job full time and that all the projects are on fire? 

She forgets everything. Everything. 

My humble apologies. But. To answer the question: Luck or Hard work

Luck is lovely and you definitely need all of it you can get in this business, but hard work is what makes luck in the first place. Working hard is luck fuel. Stockpile that stuff.

What I Do for Health Insurance Rant

Funny that health insurance should be our topic today. I'm in the process of navigating the travesty that passes for healthcare in these United States. I'm up for a hip replacement. I'm going to physical therapy first because I'm a firm believer that strengthening muscles around a bad joint might delay the necessity of surgery and if it can't, it will only speed the recovery from said surgery. But. Today, someone who works in a teaching hospital associated with a local university sat me down, looked me in the eye and said, "Get a second opinion." I must have looked blank. She shook her head at me and said, "Listen. Everyone in a medical specialty is making a Porsche payment. Don't be someone's Porsche payment."

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. You'd like to believe that healthcare is there to care about you, but all too often, I find that isn't the whole story. Or even most of it. I think long and hard about the story of getting a hip replacement in Portugal. Surely you know this one. It goes:

For what it would cost to get a hip replaced in the USA, I could move to Portugal for a year, rent an apartment for that time, see all the sights, learn to speak Portuguese, even. Then I could have my hip replaced in a state of the art medical facility, pay cash, stay for two more months to recover, and STILL have paid less that what a hip replacement in the USA would cost.

We're all being taken advantage of in this country. Health insurance feels like a scam that could finally put a Nigerian prince to shame. Still. The alternative is ruin. So. We carry health insurance. I'm lucky. My partner is employed by a company involved in the healthcare industry so our insurance is -- reasonable. They don't like me much because I'm kinda complicated. They like to come at me from time to time with tsking letters about what providers I choose to see because I'm not impressed by their doc-in-a-box preferences. But for the most part, we get along while eyeing one another with distaste and distrust. Their current 'it's a benefit' shill is trying to assign me a nurse to 'help' me manage my healthcare. The sales person who called to get me to accept the 'benefit' made the mistake of mentioning that the nurse could give me all kinds of information about where I could go to get care. Heh heh. Yeah, no, nameless health insurance company. I'm not playing your game of asking permission to manage my own well being, thanks. 

There are a few reasons that I might one day leave the USA to live elsewhere but let me assure you this Machiavellian structure we call 'health care' is right at the tippy top of the list

What I'm Learning

 I was referred to a biofeedback specialist who is training me to state shift. Shifting from fight or flight states to relaxed but alert states. NSDR / Yoga Nidra are the method by which that shift happens. The video is a 10 minute NSDR session designed to shift you out of your head and into your body for a little while. You reset your nervous system, restore energy, and heighten focus. If you suffer chronic pain, this is also a balm that might not cure all the discomfort, but which will certainly lower the volume a little.

 

 

 

 Yoga Nidra is another version of NSDR (so is self hypnosis). If you need a longer break or a longer session to help draw down pain or high stress, you can find sessions as long or as short as you like. I like Ally Boothroyd's ad-free channel.She offers an array of yoga nidra sessions.

 

Biofeedback is teaching me that all this time, I've been doing life wrong. Turns out you're supposed to rest. The modern worship of business and SO MUCH WORK TO DO is actively bad for our health and in my case, is likely a major contributor to chronic pain conditions. The hardest homework I have from biofeedback is learning that I need to structure my day around rest and that my productivity increases when I do. I hope this is useful to someone besides me - because honestly - establishing this new routine is at that all-consuming stage. I think I'll go listen to one right now.

It's a Rocky Road to Redemption

I wanted to see if there was a villain who couldn't be redeemed. My mind turned immediately to Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights (even if, looking back, I wonder just how much racism there was embedded there). AI came up with a perfectly rational, logical list (that I have edited for brevity as much as possible):

Heathcliff is seen as a cruel, manipulative, and vengeful character who causes great harm to those around him. However, here's one possible redemption arc:

1. Acknowledge the harm he has caused: For Heathcliff to begin his redemption arc, he must acknowledge the harm he has caused to others. He must confront the fact that his actions have hurt the people he claims to love. He must take responsibility for his actions.

2. Seek forgiveness: Heathcliff must seek forgiveness from those he has hurt. This could be a difficult process for Heathcliff, as he has always been a proud and stubborn character. (Author insert - any concern about some of those people being *dead*?)

3. Make amends: After seeking forgiveness, Heathcliff must make amends for his actions. This could involve doing something to help those he has hurt, such as restoring Wuthering Heights to its former glory. Making amends will show Heathcliff is committed to change and that he is willing to take action to make things right. (Uhm. I feel like we're brushing off a dead heroine here.Are we seriously talking about buying off her life with an estate restoration? Cool. I feel like's a whole new Kate Bush song.)

4. Find inner peace: Throughout Wuthering Heights, Heathcliff is portrayed as a tormented and unhappy character. To complete his redemption arc, he must find inner peace and come to terms with his past. He must find a way to move past his pain and find happiness in his own life.

5. Act selflessly: Finally, Heathcliff must act selflessly and put the needs of others before his own. He must stop seeking revenge and focus on helping those around him. By doing so, he will demonstrate that he has changed and he is committed to living a better life.

My problem with this enumerated list is that it's so tidy. The road to redemption rarely has a map as facile as AI would like us to believe. It would be up to us as writers to put Heathcliff in such dire, horrifying straits that he'd have no choice but to face up to the monster he'd become. And given that Catherine is a freaking GHOST (speaking of causing harm to loved ones) how's he supposed to seek forgiveness from her? In my head, this redemption arc is skewing straight into horror territory and the only possible ending for my theoretical 'redemption' arc is for him to accept that there's only one way to atone for causing someone's death - he has to join Catherine. They'll haunt the moors together, forever. (Yes, I get she died post-child birth, mad with fever and in her longing for Heathcliff went out wandering the moors and died. Still his fault and unless he owns that in the "Face the Music" portion of his redemption arc, then redemption never happens.

Someone as self-absorbed as Heathcliff doesn't simply wake up one day deciding to a saint. They're forced - shoved, squashed, extruded through horrifying-to-them circumstances into restitching the fabric of themselves. And for a monster, the fastest way I know is to do to them what they've done to others. That's some major psychological horror, right there. 

Completely different story and a sharp contrast, I know, but think of the movie, Pitch Black. Riddick is presented as a villain. The tagline of the movie is "Fight Evil with Evil." The survivors figure out pretty quickly that their boogeyman, Riddick, is their only hope of survival as something much older and much hungrier wakes. As the story unfolds, if there's one thing those of us watching learn, it's that each survivor must atone for things they've done before they can escape - if they're going to escape. One of the surviving pilots jettisoned pods before the crash, trying desperately to save herself. In doing so, she was killing passengers. In the course of the story, she's driven to change to the point that she's willing to sacrifice her life to save others. That's redemption, even if it doesn't save her life. The best line in the film is when she does sacrifice her life for Riddick's only to have him yell, "Not for me! Not for me." Yeah, look. The movie has been out for so long that if you haven't already seen it, you probably weren't going to anyway.

The moral of my very long story: Redemption doesn't mean HEA. Not necessarily. It just means putting the villain in so much extremity that they have no choice but to change stripes. Then and only then can the story decide what price is required of them. If asking forgiveness is one of the steps on the road to redemption and everyone you'd ask forgiveness is dead because of you - well. Live or die, the future is probably a little dimmed by the weight of those people haunting your villain.

AI Writes Like a Drunk Middleschooler

Artificial Intelligence. AI. It sounds so innocuous unless you grew up in the 60s and early 70s watching cheesy scifi matinee movies about rogue robots going on rampages. Maybe if you read Asimov and realized that the entirety of his writing career was spent coming up with the laws of robotics and then BREAKING them.

Sure. At the moment, we're talking about using AI to generate words or art for us (though I guarantee that AI is already in use a ton of other places that impact you already - you just don't know it.) It's a big gap between cribbing someone else's work and dodging Skynet. 

I am already using AI (specifically Chat GPT in this case)  to write with. It's for the day job where I'm part of a research group working on using the power of AI to transform our business model. I'm taking classes from those smarter and more experienced in the arena that I am so I can learn how to wrest forth the best of what AI has to offer. Benefit: I'm producing technical writing content for clients that is roughly 1/3 AI written based on prompts I give the AI. Problem: AI writes like a drunk sixth grader. Maybe a seventh grader. There isn't much that AI writes that can remain untouched. I cannot simply copy and paste wholesale and move on. Second problem: I MUST know my subject matter because AI is pulling information from the web. Some of that information is outdated. Some is dead wrong. Result: AI has shifted me to being a knowledge worker rather than someone who sits around and thinks up words to write for clients.  It's not all bad. Drafting is my weak spot. Editing is my strong suite.

AI favors writer/editors who have a grasp of their subject matter and who know how to match a brand's tone and voice. The moral of the story is that no matter how much or how little AI content I include in a piece of work, I will always have to tweak it or rewrite it. Always.

Chat GPT is good at distilling information from the dark, dusty corners of the WWW and bringing back something reasonably cogent. Mostly. To generate the best content, you'll need to understand what Chat GPT needs as a prompt. It's powerful for nonfiction. It's a little less useful for fiction. Like too many of us, it seems to want to avoid conflict.

I'm experimenting with AI (Sudowrite, in this case) in novel generation. I'm finding it is a much better fit for fiction. I do not like it at all for nonfiction. At least not the kind I'm working on where I need to bring hard data to a paper.  Sudowrite also requires super robust prompts that are loaded with details around your story. There are classes available for this. Some are free. If the tech interests you, the classes are worth the time. Benefit: Collaboration with that drunk middle schooler I mentioned earlier. Sudowrite takes a prompt and generates 2-3 text options. Problem: The writing is pretty terrible. Unless you declare a POV character in your prompt, Sudowrite defaults to omniscient POV. It's all tell and no show. It's pretty bare bones. The power of Sudowrite is that you can change all of that with different options in the interface. Maybe you want more action. Sudowrite can rewrite for more action. Or more description. Or more intensity. Sudowrite isn't afraid of conflict or blood. And as you write or paste in your own writing, Sudowrite learns to match your style a little better.

Sudowrite isn't capable of generating a novel without a writer to knit everything together and direct the story. Like one of the instructors said in class - think of AI as a junior writer. You're still senior. You know the craft. You know the story and the characters. You will always have to supervise and direct the junior writer's efforts. Just like with Chat GPT, I cannot take big chunks of text from Sudowrite and import it to my WIP. Just can't. I can pull a cool turn of phrase or a sentence or two. But mostly, Sudowrite's power is in making me question how I'm thinking about my story and the direction it needs to go. I have not successfully completed a book with it. I do know people who have and who continue to use it to spur their writing.

So. AI. Evil? Benign? Beneficent? Eh. Yes. To all of it. There will be good. There will be bad. Most of it will be neutral. But AI is a genie that escaped the bottle. There's no getting it back in there, now. We're going to have to learn to cope with it. The way that generations before us had to learn to cope with the evil televisions rotting our brains and making us all go blind because we sat too close. Or computer games. Or cell phones. Or whatever other technology destroyed hearts and minds and the modern family and civilization as we know it.

I do believe that AI will change the shape of work. It already is and has. You can figure out how to work with it, or you can ignore it like most of us ignored crypto. I expect that publishing will break up into camps. One will expound the evils, the other will tout the benefits, and somewhere in the middle, the rest of us will just try to finish our stories and get them out into the world.

Back Cover Copy is Hard

 

What's so hard about back cover copy? I'm just summarizing the plot, right? Giving you a short snippet of insight into the story?

It's what I thought when I was first published. Except my editor kept making me rewrite it. And rewrite it. I'd like to tell you I learned better by book two. I hadn't. In fact, back cover copy didn't get any easier for years. Because I was coming at it all wrong.

I don’t recall who finally clued me in, but I had to learn that back cover copy has nothing to do with the story. It has everything to do with the conflict and with the story question. At one point, I'd have shrugged and said, 'those are the same thing.'

I've learned better. Some.

Try summarizing the breadth and depth of your story in three paragraphs. I bet you tear out your hair. Your story spans hundreds of pages and sprawls across tens of thousands of words. It's people and places and events and backstory and oo! I forgot to tell you the main character grew up apprenticed to a dragon! I mean, it may be an amazing story, but it won’t sell a book because it doesn't lodge a question or a compulsion in a reader's mind.

That question should be, “OMG, HOW?”

Your conflict is the bait on the story question hook. Conflict, obstacles, and stakes. It doesn't matter what genre you write. Tell me what your characters need, tell me why they need it, tell me what's in the way (and why the answer is on some level 'themselves') and make sure to tell me what happens if they don't overcome their obstacles. What do they have to learn or overcome in themselves to earn the right to cross the final threshold successfully - assuming you aren't writing tragedy?

Recall our main character who was apprenticed to a dragon. All she wants is to learn to fly, because she's in love with the dragon's son and dragons court on the wing, but she can't fly because she's human. Internally, that sets our heroine up to believe she's a failure. She's not good enough. Maybe this echoes an old wound about not being good enough because her family gave her away to the dragons. All we know is that she longs to fly so she can tell the love of her life how she feels.

The young dragon prince, on the other hand, wants to eradicate humans because they hunted and killed his father. He can't start burning down human cities, though. The humans would rally and endanger the dragon prince's remaining family. Internally, he wants to avenge his dad and protect his remaining family. While he’s been kind to the human working with his mother and maybe even admires her, he’s convinced that all other humans are mean and nasty and destructive.

We create a sentence or two about how these different conflicts collide and interfere with one another. Finally, we cap it with what the two of them must learn if they're going to get together. If they aren't getting together, they still must learn something before they can win whatever challenge awaits at the climax of the story.

And there’s the trick. Your job with back cover copy is to snag the reader’s imagination by presenting all the desires, all the stumbling blocks (look! She’s in love with a dragon who hates humans! Uh oh!) and set up the horrible, dreadful consequences of the characters failing to learn their lessons before the climax. Aaaand you have to do that without giving the climax away AND while making it seem like these two will never rise above their obstacles.

Maybe our heroine argues with the dragon prince because she’s dead set on convincing him not all humans are bad. He’s not buying it, so he challenges her to prove it by hunting down his father’s killers and bringing them to him. Since she’s secretly convinced she’s a failure and not good enough, she refuses. He throws her out and banishes her. Cool. We all know that to prove her love, she’s going to go hunt down the killers (and learn to believe in herself at the same time.) We all know he’s going to start harrying innocent humans and endangering the rest of his family (and come face to face with the terrible consequences of his actions and realize he’s become what he hates.)

Finally here’s what the stakes sentence might look like:

If they cannot learn to trust one another and work as a team, all dragon-kind will die.

(Yeah, yeah. It’s a romance. She catches the killers and bargains with the dragon prince for a ride on his neck while he flies so she can confess her feelings, okay?)

Ethical Dilemmas in Writing

Ethical situations in writing. Hmm. I've had a situation where I felt I was being dealt with in an unethical fashion by my agent. When an editor offered information that confirmed my suspicions, the relationship with the agent was severed. I would like to tell you that was the end of the ethical dilemmas I've faced in writing but it isn't. That particular situation cast a long shadow and to this day, I shy away from looking for representation because the agent I fired is still out there and most of the agents in publishing know one another. I'm probably being unreasonable about this. I admit the situation has probably played an outsized role in how slow I've become at getting books together. What's the point if it feels like there's no where to go with them? Anyway. Whose idea was this topic?? I didn't intend to write my own psychoanalysis in blog post form today.

Most of my minor ethical dilemmas have to do with the business end of writing. The squick about finding a new agent is one. The other my confusion over requesting reversion of rights on books that technically never go out of print because they were never in print to begin with. I suppose I could resolve that with a letter requesting reversion of rights of digital works and see whether the lawyers laugh me off. Yet is seems to be one of those things I never get around to doing because I seem to define conflict avoidant. Ye gods. Again with the psychoanalysis. Honestly. The other issue I have is promoting books that have been out long enough to be learning to drive. That may not strictly be an ethics issue to anyone but me. I feel pretty strongly that back list should be promoted, yes, but with the expectation that the back list being promoted isn't still a series in progress that hasn't seen a new book in several years. This is me remembering how much I hated finding a series I loved only to find out I couldn't binge the entire series because the final few books weren't finished yet. You'd think that would hurry me up on finishing a series, wouldn't you? No one's more annoyed with me than I am about it.

Ethics, fairness, and honesty matter. It's possible I read too many superhero comics growing up. I want people to feel better for having worked with me. I don't want readers hurt because I'm being racist or because I'm culturally appropriating what I have no business in. At the same time, I recognize that the difference between appropriation and appreciation is caring (and actual research and sensitivity advisors from within the culture). I'm not going to avoid writing an experience or culture that isn't mine *if the experience or culture is intrinsic to the plot*. If it's window dressing, ethically, I'm out. I'll find some other way to evoke a feeling - some way that doesn't objectify another person's way of life or race or gender/lack thereof or orientation. And maybe all of this last paragraph isn't really about ethics - it's about respect. But in the end, I feel like ethics and respect are entwined. We have ethics because we respect ourselves and we respect the other people who share the world with us. Or maybe I'm just naive. Still.