Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Before The Cushion Molds to My Butt...

Apparently, sitting too much is horrible for your health. According to the Mayo Clinic,

"...those who sat for more than eight hours a day with no physical activity had a risk of dying similar to the risks of dying posed by obesity and smoking."

Well, that's craptastic. To battle the numerous bad things that will happen from molding your seat cushion to your butt, health professionals recommend:

  1. Getting up and moving every 30 mins.
  2. Standing instead of sitting. 
  3. Using a Treadmill desk. (Be like Jeffe!)
I, uh, no. If I have to stop what I'm doing every 30mins, then I'm not existing in my fictitious alternate world and writing the damn book. I'm eyeballing a timer that's keeping me grounded in reality. The health sages say too much sitting leads to back pain. For me, it's too much standing. Also, I'm one of those who can't stand still. Seems like a treadmill desk would be the perfect solution! Alas, no. I cannot walk and chew gum. I'm not that graceful.

Am I doomed to die at a ripe old middle age from a brain aneurism? I...I hope not. I do have a secret weapon in the fight against total sloth. 

My Dog Pi in the Snow
My dog Pi. 

Trained to fetch me every two hours from the time we awaken, Pi ensures I get up and take her outside for 10-15mins per pesting. Every day. Every kind of weather. Healthy or sickly, we go. While I won't win any fitness awards, and yes, the crepuscular creatures are less than amused by our appearances, I haven't completely become one with my couch. There are still two more cushions that need molding.