Don't Get Stuck in the Weeds

Don't get stuck in the weeds like Ullr.

Signs you may be overthinking your writing:

• You write, then delete. You write, then delete.
• You can’t stop researching details.
• You’re still staring at a blank page determined to find the perfect start.
• You make no progress.

You may think overthinking isn’t an issue for you. But be honest with yourself, how many times have you written a sentence only to delete and rewrite it over and over? Hello first sentences! 

The trick is being able to acknowledge what your brain is doing. If you’re not aware of how it’s operating how can you change it? And also…how do you change your brain?

For me, overthinking is the drive for perfection. It’s the inability to leave a sentence alone because it’s not conveying the exact emotion or action I’m looking for. Have you ever heard of there’s more than one way to skin a cat? Same applies here, there’s more than one way to describe a specific emotion/action/what-have-you and there is never one perfect way.

Once I realize I’m stuck, because yes, overthinking can be a type of writer’s block, I like to reset my brain. A short breathing session or yoga session, because yoga literally means to unite the body and mind. This helps me get back to alpha brain waves which is where creative thinking happens.

Think of brain waves this way, beta is when you’re actively speaking or exercising. Beta is worked up. Take a step down to alpha and you’re relaxed. You’re walking in a garden without having to concentrate or your sitting in meditation. Another step down is theta. Autopilot. That’s why you can have those ah-ha moments while you’re taking a shower or driving your car. You’re in autopilot which frees your mind up to wander and find solutions. 

Next time you find yourself overthinking, maybe give resetting your brainwaves a try! 

The Secret of Hobbies in Keeping Us Sane

 This week at the SFF Seven we're talking about those hobbies that take the pressure off writing.

This is relevant for more than curiosity because hobbies are key for creatives to fend off burnout. It's interesting, because it seems like when we talk about "hobbies," we're already assigning whatever project it is a lesser status. A hobby is something you do on the side, for pleasure and no other reason. I'm going to add that a hobby usually doesn't generate income (until it does). You might not even be that good at it, because if you were good at it, people would pay you, right?

We talk about hobbies in a slightly indulgent, somewhat disparaging way:

"Oh, my spouse's hobby is woodworking, but mostly they just putter in the garage."

or

"My spouse reads countless books. It's a cute hobby, but an expensive one!"

See what I mean?

The thing about hobbies, though, is that they are critical to our wellbeing. They keep us sane. For creatives, hobbies refill the well, which is what we need to avoid burnout.

What happens for a lot of us making a living from our creative work - I'll stick with writing as my example - is that what started as a hobby becomes a job. The thing we did for fun, for pressure release, simply out of love, becomes the thing we must do to pay the mortgage and keep the lights on. We lost our hobby and frequently don't replace it. Because we're doing what we love for work! That should be enough, right?

Spoiler: it's not enough.

One of the most important things any creative can do is have a non-monetized creative outlet or two. AKA, hobbies. The non-monetized aspect is important, because it allows us to be creative without that feeling of needing to pay the bills or track sales or make business decisions. I met a US Poet Laureate who also painted - and very well - but had a solid rule never to sell his work. He only gave his paintings as gifts. I've remembered that lesson ever since.

What do I do? I confess that, in the eight years since I became a full-time, career author - as in supporting my family with my writing - I have not been super great at keeping up hobbies. I've burned out once, too, and come close to it a couple of other times. I'm trying to do better. What do I do?

1. Gardening
2. Reading
3. Interior Decorating
4. Hiking
5. Yoga

It was instructive to make this list coming at it from the lens of a "hobby" rather than "non-monetized creativity." I've been trying to implement creative things I can do, but I'm just now realizing that these other activities - even something as prosaic painting my living room (I decided to include an in-process photo), as I'm doing this weekend - also count as leisure-time, restorative activities. Theoretically, everything on my list could be monetized.

(Maybe not. Can you be paid to hike? And I will never, ever be that good at yoga! Trust me: a yoga teacher I will never be.)

Anyway, celebrate those hobbies! They aren't silly or pointless. They're what feeds us as human beings.

 

Joy Bringers

I make a conscious effort to find joy every day. Big or small, and especially when I’m feeling down. So it was difficult to narrow it down to three for our week’s theme of Three Things That Bring You Joy!

Exploring brings me boundless joy, especially when I talk my whole family into it. Hiking trails, or making our own, is something we do in all weather. And it never fails to trigger images of characters traveling on quests or spy pieces that could be on another planet. 

Like chocolate and peanut butter, it’s wonderful when two good things combine into something even greater! My husky pup, Ullr, accompanies me when I slip out to my greenhouse to play with plants. Even on days where it’s negative fourteen Fahrenheit, playing with my plants makes me happy.

Last is one thing that helps spread smiles across my face. Yoga and meditation. Being able to clear my mind and stop the thoughts from bombarding me constantly helps my dopamine and helps my writing. And yoga gets me some zen and keep me limber after long writing sessions. 

There are a few of my favorite things. How about you? What are some of your favorites that bring you joy?

Reading Yoga

 

Reading Yoga

Destress: What’s one thing you do to keep (or reestablish) your equanimity when life is too much?

If there were one thing we could do to destress…well, we’d all be doing it and thriving! So that’s the thing, it takes more than one trick to keep the stress at bay.

Jeffe gave a great run down on how our bodies are hard wired to respond to threatening situations: alligators. The Mayo Clinic has a nice little post if you’re interested. 

For me, I ignored the alligators for far too long and ended up with a chronic disease. Now I have an arsenal of tools to handle stress. No, they’re not perfect because when you throw some bugs into the system I flare up and then the mental struggle gets real. But here’s my top three bring-it-down-a-level tricks:

Yoga

I’ve mentioned before that I had to relearn how to breathe, here, and doing yoga is my daily reminder to reset. I known I’ll get knocked off my pillow again and again, but I’ll keep getting back on.

Reading

According to my Goodreads I’ve read 127 books so far this year, and I know I’ve got two finished ones sitting on my desk that are awaiting reviewing. Why so high this year? Because I read to escape and when I’m lost in another world or the lives of characters I leave my own stress behind. 

Get Outside

I’m incredibly thankful for my husky pup, Ullr. He makes me get outside—especially when I don’t want to. Inevitably, being out in nature is what I needed. It clears my head.  

I haven’t invented anything new, though I did manage to combine all three for my image for the week. And really, what's better than slow, concentrated movements that improve your health while being swept away into a fantastical world?! Well...regular yoga is great too. 

If you are feeling the pressure I hope you give some of our week’s suggestions a try. Trust me, don’t ignore the alligators. 

Is one of my top three a go-to for you? 

my reading yoga book stack—each one is highly recommended!

3 Tricks to Destress (and Non-Coincidental Release Date Changes)

 

This week at the SFF Seven we're talking destressing. We're asking, "What's one thing you do to keep (or reestablish) your equanimity when life is too much?"

That's always the question, isn't it?

It's especially pertinent for me today because I've been stressing about whether I can get GREY MAGIC, book #3 in Bonds of Magic, written in time for release. See, I've known for a while that I wouldn't make my original release date of December 20. Yes, the December 20 that's nineteen days from this post. I made a deliberate choice there when Agent Sarah asked me to write more on a book she really wanted to take on submission this fall. "I'll just postpone the release date," I thought to myself. Then, yesterday, I was deciding what I should push the date to, as Amazon requires that we change the date at least five days ahead. Yes, that still gives me two weeks, but I wanted to get a feel for that - and if it means I also have to push the release of THE STORM PRINCESS AND THE RAVEN KING. (Reader: I do. Apologies! These things have a cascade effect...) 

So, I was picking my ideal, least-amount-of-stress date when I realized: Amazon only allows us to push the date by 30 days. For those not wanting to do the math, that made the new release date January 19. At first I tried manipulating my schedule and wordcount goals, considering writing on weekends, which I normally take off to relax and refill the well, and then I realized that I would be incredibly stressed trying to do that. I ended up soliciting advice. My plan is to call Amazon and see if they'll grant me dispensation to push both release dates out to a comfortable distance. Apparently they sometimes will, and I stand a good chance as I haven't done this before. Wish me luck! And I'll report back. 

Fair warning: those dates I'll be requesting are mid-February and mid-April, just to give myself plenty of room since I don't want to have to try to change them again. 

Onward to the actual topic!

Stress isn't easy to combat, especially since it can be so insidious. Our neurological systems are built to constantly re-establish baselines, so we can be alerted to new dangers. This means we become inured to the presence of chronic stressors, in order to be aware of acute ones. In essence, we forget about the alligators in the watering hole that are always there, so we can be alert to the arrival of the tiger.

But only our conscious awareness "forgets" about the alligators. Our adrenal system is revved about those stinking alligators, punching up our nervous system every time we take a drink. For modern humans, our alligators are those constant concerns of our lives: money, health, family, deadlines, politics, etc. We think we're not stressed about these things all the time because we're used to it. Often it's only when the stress relents that we become aware of its absence - with sheer, blessed relief.

For me this means being proactive. I make an effort to combat stress even when I don't feel particularly stressed. What do I do?

1) Take deep breaths. I know this may feel like hackneyed advice, but really is the best. Studies have shown we hold our breath when reading emails or when social media notifications arrive. By reminding myself to consciously and conscientiously breathe deeply, I release and fend off stress.

2) Speaking of email and social media notifications, I silence as much as possible. All those pop-ups, pings, and badges? Turn them off! Very little needs our immediate attention. For email, I try to confine my engagement with it to once a day. Much like the paper mail. I treat it like it arrives once and I read and respond then. 

3) I try to be kind to myself, doing those things that others have mentioned here. Yoga is great, not only for the energy realignment and breathing (!), but also because it makes me step away from the phone and computer for an hour and be only in my body. Being outside works for this. Long walks. Reading in the sun. Unplugging and focusing on non-monetized creative tasks.

What do you all do to destress?

A Writing Habit That Works for YOU

Amazingly enough, it's already May - which means THE PROMISED QUEEN, the third and final book in the Forgotten Empires trilogy, is out in just two weeks. That comes as a shock to me, I can tell you! 

It also makes this particular graphic quite apt and goes well with our topic this week: "When Life Gets In The Way: dealing with a schedule for writing when the world wants to go off the rails."

Nothing like a global pandemic and the attendant chaos to shake up the world a bit, huh?

I've been fortunate compared to many of the creatives I know - so many people have struggled to create art during this extraordinary time of upheaval - in that I've maintained a consistent output of words. In fact, I wrote nearly 120K more words in 2020 than in 2019 (recall that I am dubbed The Spreadsheet Queen for a reason), which I largely attribute to the fact that I didn't travel in 2020.

So, why was I able to stay on schedule when others couldn't?

There are a lot of reasons for that - including that I am blessed with happy brain chemistry and I'm not prone to anxiety - but I think the number one reason is that I've built a consistent writing habit. That's the foundation that keeps me stable and productive.

Martial artists like to poke at practitioners of yoga and meditation by saying, "But what happens when someone knocks you off your pillow?" The jibe is meant to shame those not into the fighting arts by implying that meditation is fine and all, but if you're attacked, it's fundamentally useless.

Believe me - I know this is exactly what they mean, as I used to train with martial artists fond of saying that very thing.

Whenever someone asks me about this topic, about work/life balance or maintaining creativity through upheaval, I think of that quip. 

What happens when someone knocks you off your pillow?

The answer is pretty obvious: You get back on.

See, the whole point of meditation (or prayer or self-care or whatever works for you) is to discover a solid, peaceful foundation within yourself. That's why it's called a "practice." It's something that you develop over time by doing it repeatedly. Nobody ever said it was in order to spend your entire life on a pillow in a meditative state. Once you discover that foundation, that silent core of peacefulness, then you know how to find it again. 

No one ever promised us lives where everything is perfect all the time. Things are going to happen to derail us - and the best we can do is find our way back to that foundation again, rather than being tossed about endlessly from one crisis to another.

A writing habit provides that foundation. The great thing about habits is we default to them. Bad and good, habits drive our unconscious decisions. Why not build a writing habit that works for you instead of against you?

Then, when the world knocks you off schedule, it's easy to get right back on again.

Exercise Envy

 

Sitting. Not ideal. You've seen the data earlier this week. But you know, when all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail. All I have are sitting desks. So far. I lust after a treadmill desk like Jeffe has. With four adults and too many cats in the house, that ain't happenin' any time soon. Space concerns and all.

Still. In the middle of the raging hellhole that was 2020 (and that 2021 is still flirting with, the hussy) doing something - anything - to look after our health made my family feel a little more in control. Working out at home became THE thing.

Yes. Yoga. Weightlifting - we have free weights and a bench and training in the Weider method. We take 2-3 mile walks (with masks - this is Florida and well - the FL man memes, they do not lie). The dh and I bike. 

These are lovely. They boost mental and physical health. But they're time delimited. There are only so many hours in a day and only an hour a day I can devote to motion for motion's sake. Yet our brains evolved in very different circumstances - when motion WAS the day. Our brains were designed to operate at peak efficiency while we walk. Stroll, really. Take a look at the book The Brain Rules. 

Read this and see if you don't join me in lusting after a treadmill desk like Jeffe's. 

The spoiler is this: Our brains were designed for us to walk up to twelve miles per day. It keeps our brains oxygenated, boosts connections, etc, etc, it's really good for you, so there. 

All I know is that if I stop moving, I start hurting. Maybe I'll start saving for that treadmill desk.

Finding the Good in a Changing World

Our topic this week at the SFF Seven is whatever is on our minds. With pretty much the entire world in sparkling isolation, there's really only one thing on our minds: COVID-19.

We're also exhausted of thinking and talking and reading about it!

So, I'm asking everyone - what good things have come out of this massive change? I want to hear about how your lives have altered in positive ways.

For us, the biggest change has been that David has been at home with me. My daily routine is very much the same, since I work from home anyway.

Yesterday, though, David and I took a very long walk. We enjoyed the spring sunshine, waved to neighbors from a safe distance, and we marveled at how it felt like we had more time in the day. "It's like the whole world is on vacation," David commented, and I agreed that it does feel that way. Of course there are people working hard to keep us all healthy, fed, and safe - but for most of us, we're hanging at home with family. I've been baking bread - which I haven't done in years - and even made pizza crust from scratch, which I don't think I've ever done. We're getting creative with meals, and being thankful for our home and the garden.

What I've missed most is that I can't attend the wonderful yoga classes at my fave place Yoga Source. Then today, I was able to attend my first online class with them! I figured out how to connect my laptop to our large-screen TV, and we streamed the Zoom meeting. David even did the class with me, which he's never done IRL. Tomorrow my mom is going to "attend" the Yin Yoga class with me, from her home in Tucson. I figure that, doing this from home, I can attend classes five days a week, which is tons more than I seem to fit in when I have to drive back and forth.

What about all of you? What's something positive you've been doing that wasn't part of your life "before"?