There Was An Actual Well

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Our topic this week: "Refilling the well – what do you do to nourish your creative self, long term and in an emergency?"

The best part of my childhood was when we lived in an old house way out in upstate New York, in what was then dairy country. We had an actual well at the side of house. I remember my father telling me once it was 32’ deep, which seemed very impressive, and it was fed by a spring. Now our well never went dry but in the hot, dry summers we did have to exercise caution not to do too many loads of laundry in one day or wash the car or anything else too major that required water because it was a very real possibility the well would run dry. In fact, one of our neighbors had that happen and it was a near catastrophe, requiring a new well to be dug on their farm as I recall.

They even had a water dowser come out to tell them where to dig, which of course was my favorite part of the whole sequence of events.

At any rate, I learned at an early age to tend the well and avoid drawing on it so much that the resource becomes exhausted. Our spring faithfully refilled the well if we waited long enough but there was always the dreaded possibility of the whole thing drying up. There was also the possibility of falling in and drowning of course, which utterly terrified me as a child, although there’s no way I ever could have shifted the enormous stone cap covering the shaft.  Nor was I ever tempted!

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My ‘well’ of creativity and energy and whatever else pretty much refills itself overnight, much as the spring used to replenish our water supply every day. I wake up in the mornings ready to go and if I was feeling too tired or at a standstill on my writing or anything else the night before, matters are always better looking to me in the morning. Yes, I’m a morning person through and through. Lark here, who runs out of all kinds of energy as the day goes on.

I will say I’m fortunate enough to be a fulltime author now, with an empty nest aside from Jake the Cat, so many of the pressures I used to deal with as a single mother with a high pressure job at NASA/JPL have gone away.

If there is a reason during the day for me to need to disengage, stop thinking, de-stress, whatever, I:

Work on what I call a ‘mindless task’ away from the computer, by which I mean something well defined, fairly rote in nature like washing the dishes or doing the laundry, which allows my mind to disengage from whatever had it running like a hamster on a wheel and relax…

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Meditate for ten or fifteen minutes. I visualize the cabin my grandparents owned at the local lake where we lived during that golden age of my childhood (as I remember it to be LOL). I can still recall with great clarity my favorite paths through the woods, as well as the lake itself, where I used to be allowed to take the rowboat my grandfather built and go roam, to read or fish or whatever I wanted to do. So if I meditate, I place myself back in that scene and ‘walk’ one of the paths, or ‘take the boat out’…the effort at detailed visualization and the happiness I associate with that time spent at the lake do wonders to reduce my tension, lower my heart rate and clear the air for me to move forward. I probably ought to do it every day as a regular thing but I don’t. I save it for when I really need it!

Go for a drive on the freeway and blast my music. Golden oldies work best for me…I like to sing along…when I did have the day job, I had quite a commute from home to work and that was my time for working out plot ideas and issues with stories and characters…

Go outside and garden a bit…

Take a walk…

Pet the cat (but this requires Jake the Cat to be in the mood to function as a furry tranquilizer and to not be asleep at the top of his cat treehouse).

Go play with my toddler grandson…

Later, after I’ve relaxed or de-stressed, I might read a favorite book or watch a movie or binge on a TV show but I have to have that peaceful activity first, that enables me to break my connection to whatever was bothering me or getting me wrapped around the axle. I don’t go back to whatever activity triggered me in the first place, but wait confidently for the next day, after the overnight cleaning and refilling process my mind faithfully executes.

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I’m not sure we’re really addressing longer term creativity here this week but as for me, I read voraciously, all the time, on a huge variety of topics, as well as fiction of all kinds (but primarily the romance genres). I was that kid who would read the cereal box at breakfast if there wasn’t anything else at hand. I have to have things to read. I think my subconscious (or my Muse, which is the way I like to think of it) sifts through all the  input, takes a snip there and a fragment here and stitches together intriguing story or plot ideas and lets them float up into my consciousness. I always have many more plot ideas than I could ever write. Like many authors, I gravitate to the newer, shinier ones!

I watch a lot of movies and documentaries, as well as binge watching certain shows and series…

I try to sit with my eyes closed and listen to music on my iPod for the last hour of the day because I find that frees my mind up to work on plot tangles or story ideas in a natural flow, without my consciously focusing on the issues and stressing. I have this huge playlist with a mix of golden oldies, show tunes, country music, bagpipes, etc.

I do a lot of research into ancient Egypt particularly, just for the sheer pleasure of it – I’m so fascinated by the Ancient World – and come across any number of interesting facts that give rise to plots or plot twists…

If we’re not tired of the well analogy yet, all of the above activity is like the winter snow or the Spring rain, which would replenish the spring and contribute to filling that 32’ foot well in the side yard when I was a kid…

Author's own photo - the house in the country with the well

Healing Burnout

Burn out is a special kind of exhaustion. It surpasses physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual exhaustion. It encompasses all of them at once and then adds in some special extra dimension that's a little like a million tiny kitten claws climbing your nerves all the time. You're so tired you could cry, except you can't cry. Nor can you sleep.

What to do?

Anything. Anything that's not in front of a screen. Get out and get your hands in the dirt - plenty of scientific articles talk about the benefits of microbes in the soil, especially for the treatment of depressive issues.

Get bored. Go on a screen fast just to sit in the sunshine and watch the clouds go by. Does anything sound like fun? Do that thing. If nothing does, do nothing.

For me, the issue is that burn out is a progressive state that creeps up on you. It isn't something most of us notice until we're so deep in the choke hold that it feels like it's going to take moving to a new country under a new name to solve. I suggest you can untangle the skein if you're willing to rest long enough to reset your central nervous system. When I managed to trip and give myself a concussion, the doctor said, "Aim for zero sensory input. It allows your brain tissues to heal." Burn out is very much the same. Turn down the input. Hibernate if you have to. Anything to remember how to relax, to sink into the grass or the floor or a chair. Anything to let the noise of your mind drain, quiet, and finally drift to silence. Is it easy? No. Especially not with the demands of families and work. But very much like airplanes. You do have to put on your mask before you can help anyone else with theirs.

It takes more than a thimble to refill the well.

Everyone’s hit it, 

though some deny it, 

and once you’ve been bit, 

you won’t care a wit.

I saw it in corporate healthcare and I see it in my fellow creatives: BURNOUT. 

Burnout became the it word a few years ago and then quickly following came self-care. I saw it in corporate healthcare and I see it in creatives. No matter who’s experiencing it, it’s a hard thing to climb out of. Even for those of us who know what we have to do.

That thimble thing I put in the title? That’s real life right there. I’ve been through burnout that was compounded by my chronic illness. And I climbed out. It took a lot longer than I wanted it to, though now I know a few things NOT to do. 

I’ve done the relaxing. Check. But as Jeffe pointed out on Sunday, you can’t relax when you’re multitasking. Uncheck. 

Google burnout and you’ll find suggestions to read. Reading! Yay, my favorite pastime! Check. But, what do you do when your body is out of whack and you’re depressed? Depression robs the joy from the even the simplest things. Uncheck. 

Then, how about unplugging? Check. 

I’m not going to uncheck that one because I’ve learned that what I need when I’m at the bottom is to seriously unplug. When my well is bone-dry, I need to walk away from all the voices and opinions floating around the social. If I’m going to have a chance at a bucket, or even a cup, rather than a thimble…I need to get out where I can breathe and the only voice I hear is in the wind. 

To my fellow chronic disease sufferers, I know there are days where getting outside in the fresh air is insurmountable. I’m blessed to have a furry companion that pushes me, but there are still days it doesn’t happen. And that’s okay. If I beat myself up over it I’m going the wrong way. But, if I let it happen and just breathe, then I’ll get out the next day.

That’s how I start, by filling a thimble. I find some snow, or sunshine, or raindrops splashing into a puddle to stare at. And before I know it I’m listening to the birds and imagining what they’d be saying if there were fae walking beneath the branches.

Maybe this is why writing fantasy, in which there are always powerful trees, seems to come from my soul whereas writing science fiction is all brain-power entertainment. 

That’s how I keep going and how my thimble amount grows into a cup and then a bucket. Nothing fancy and it’s often frustrating and humbling, but that’s how life is. So, dear reader, how do you bounce back when your emotional/mental/physical well is empty? 

When the well is too deep to fill

As writers, we talk a lot about refilling the well, and I bet some folks are going to give lots of excellent suggestions here on SFF Seven for doing just that. (Hint: Some already have. Go back and read their posts, which are excellent. Go on. I'll wait. ... Done? Good.) Other creatives also share this need to cycle, to lean into the work for a time and then take a step back, breathe, and refocus. Zone out. Soak in.

But... what if when you look down at that deep, empty well, you see that it has no bottom? And no matter what you toss into it, it has never and will never fill up enough for you to even notice. That might be the moment when the panic sets in, because right then, looking over the lip of the well, you can feel pressure behind you, a monster named deadline and goals and sales and dreams and expectations, and nothing would bring that monster more joy than to push you in.

This is what writing was like before I realized I was depressed.

I'd do all those things that were supposed to clear my mind, and boy would they clear my mind. I'd go full zombie, walking around like I wasn't even conscious, wasn't even living, so zoned out I no longer cared about anything and mostly just wanted to sleep.

For a depressed person, reading and watching TV and taking long walks are too much. Too much effort, too much self-indulgence. My well had no bottom, and it just kept eating whatever I tossed into it.

Medication and therapy have helped me get a handle on my bleak brain, but I'm still coming to terms with that metaphorical well. I find I don't enjoy reading as much as I used to, so even sitting in a bubble bath with a book isn't exactly relaxing. Reading fiction becomes work--deconstructing the story, trying to suss out why readers adored this book as much as they did, feeling hopeless that I could ever do what that author did. Walks and music help a little. Reading nonfiction sometimes sparks an idea or a desire to turn fact into speculative froth.

But you know what works more than anything, what makes me want to write all the words ever worded?

Writing the first one.

Like, literally sitting down and writing one word, and then another. One baby step at a time. The first one is the hardest, and then they start spilling in faster and faster, filling up a page, a story, a void.

A well.

When You've Got Plenty O' [Creative] Nuttin'

Happy 2020, Dear Readers!

Did you write down your Determinations for the year? Do any of them involve creative pursuits? Are you staring at the beginning, wondering if your abundant creativity went the way of 2019?

It happens to all of us! As professional authors, we often find ourselves feeling like we've drained the creative well. Each of us has our own way of refilling it. Jeffe's great suggestions kicked off the week, and each of your friendly SFF Seven bloggers will offer their ways of gettin' their giggity back.

Me? I binge watch TV and read/whittle down my TBR pile, particularly genres from which I drift away while I'm writing. When I'm writing, I exist in the bubble of my fictional world, so when that bubble bursts...it's a blessing.

Bonus that I discovered over the winter holiday: my eldest nibling has reached the tweenage years (that's no kindness, my sister assures me) and said nibling has developed a keen interest in animae. I hate to admit, it's been decades a few years since I let my animae addiction run wild, but now that I have a young whippersnapper to make recommendations, I'm fluffing the pillows, grabbing the snuggy, and settling in for a winter binge-fest.

Bring on the weird! I need a creativity refill!

Emergency Refilling of the Well

For a lot of us - especially Romance writers - the stress of the last few weeks has been at best distracting and at worst devastating. That kind of emotional stress, on top of the holiday season, which can be emotionally draining for many people, can leave us with empty wells. So what do you do when you need to be creative, but the well is dry?

In other words, how do you even when you can't even?

Our quite timely topic at the SFF Seven this week (thanks to KA Krantz for creating the new topic calendar!) is "Refilling the well – what do you do to nourish your creative self, long term and in an emergency?"

Just Don't.

When you can't even, not trying to is a great option.

I'm always amused when self-care articles include taking a hot bath. Doesn't it seem like EVERY SINGLE ONE DOES??? And yet, the theory behind this is what counts. In the bathtub we are typically alone - usually you can even lock the door and there's the whole bathroom = privacy thing - and so we get expectation-free time. We can nap, read, count the tiles - I have one friend who has a TV over her tub where she watches Downton Abbey - or simply stare into space.

The point is taking time to do "nothing" is great for refilling the well. We're geared that way. So whether it's yoga (which allows thinking to bleed away), meditating (like yoga that way), tile-counting (a kind of meditation), taking a long walk (same), or whatever allows your mind to go blank, do that thing.

Read, Watch Movies, Listen to Music, Look at Art - One at a Time

When was the last time you listened to music and did *nothing* else? What's the longest time recently that you've read without stopping to do something else, like check your phone or the time? When you watch movies or binge a show, do you also check Twitter or do some sort of other task simultaneously? Try doing just the one thing and nothing else. If you are happier doing something with your hands, mindless tasks like knitting or needlework don't count as distractions. Just try practicing doing only one thing. I remember being a teenager and lying there just listening to an entire album. The closest I've come since is when I'm driving.

Studies have shown that when we multitask, we're actually rapidly switching our attention from one thing to the next, which is draining. It's not good for our mental health. So consume that favorite media - and do ONLY that. Going to a movie in a movie theater can be great for that, as you *can't* do anything else but watch the movie. (Seriously, you shouldn't be looking at your phone - it lights up and annoys everyone else.)

I'm lucky enough to live in a place with a vibrant art scene. Walking around galleries and looking at art is something that makes it difficult for me to multitask - especially if I keep my phone in my bag! - and it fills my personal creative well. Museums are great for this, too, or even art books with wonderful paintings and photographs.

Unplug

It's okay to walk away from the Internet. The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can be strong, but time away can really help to cool the fires of urgency. In many ways, social media has become like the 24/7 news shows - after about thirty minutes, everything has been said and goes on repeat. It's almost impossible these days to really miss out on anything because someone is always out there ready to rehash and analyze. Go unplug. This comes back to the Just Don't. Go to a lake with no cell service, or take a walk and leave your phone behind. Set aside one day a week where you don't turn on the computer and you turn off your data plan.

These are all great for long-term maintenance, and all things that I do. But what about in an emergency, when things hit a crisis point?

I do these things too, just more consciously. I make myself turn things off and I walk away. Looking at pretty pictures or nature goes a long way toward grounding myself again.

But if you all have suggestions for emergency well-refilling/stress chilling, I'd love to hear suggestions!

Top 3 Things on My Mind This Week

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The topic this week is open, which usually means we should discuss what’s been on our minds lately.

I have a variety of things on my mind, not all of them related to writing.

The current situation in the Middle East…

The terrible fires in Australia…as a Southern Californian with my own experiences regarding wildfires, including once being trapped on the freeway with fire all around, I feel so much sympathy and empathy. The sheer scale of what’s going on there is terrifying and nearly impossible to comprehend. One scientist called it an “ecological Armageddon” in the NY Times. I hope the world starts to really understand what global warming means for civilization and for the animals sharing the planet with us and takes more action than lip service. 

New York Times Best Selling Author author Kylie Scott, who is Australian, provided a list of resources for those who want to help in her tweet stream. Follow her in twitter and/or here’s the link to the tweet thread: https://twitter.com/KylieScottbooks/status/1213252322874126336 OR here are two of her recommendations:  To help with the relief and recovery efforts made possible by the  @redcrossau

https://redcross.org.au To help wildlife victims from the fires, donate to WIRES: https://wires.org.au/donate/now⠀

My heart goes out to all my friends, fellow authors, readers and everyone else in Australia in this terrible time. And to the helpless wildlife (and domestic animals lost) in the path of these fires.⠀

As a general remark, I firmly believe we have to stop denying climate change and start taking drastic measures now if we don’t want to be part of the next mass extinction event.

And third, this tragic and infuriating situation going on with the Romance Writers of America is very much on my mind, though obviously it’s on a smaller scale than either of the first two. But in some ways, romance is my world. As a CIS-het presenting white woman, I’m trying to be an ally to the AOC and LGBTQIA communities.

I withdrew my two books from the RITA’s. I wasn’t signed up to judge this year but if I had been, I would have withdrawn. Until the larger issues facing the organization are faced up to and resolved, I see no point or purpose in supporting a contest. Set the contest aside. There are HUGE, fundamental organizational problems to be addressed and dealt with. I think the way the current Board and especially the President are conducting themselves and treating the entire membership is appalling, insulting and reprehensible. The Staff has to come in for scrutiny here as well, given some of the reports I’ve read from other members.

I can’t believe the self-inflicted damage the current RWA leadership has levied on the organization.

(For an excellent and pretty exhaustive timeline of the RWA events, go here. Author Claire Ryan is doing her best to pull all the events together in a readable format, with links to tweets and letters and etc. I applaud and appreciate her efforts.)

I’ve been heartened to see the statements from authors such as Nora Roberts, Jill Shalvis and J. R. Ward. I’ve been happy to see the growing national news coverage of this has in general been what I consider to be fair. I appreciate the efforts being made by many individuals to get RWA through this catastrophe and survive. I want to be supportive in whatever ways I can be.

If RWA can be saved at all. The situation has become so toxic I think the outcome is in serious doubt.

I appreciate the leadership of my local Chapter and my online Chapter speaking out and calling for change, audits and self-examination, and reaffirming their commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion. Leaving my Chapters would be the hardest thing about letting my RWA membership lapse.

I honor the commitment and passion of members leading the efforts to cope with this latest travesty and to salvage the organization for the future…but it honestly may be too late. The reputation of the RWA is deep in the muck and mud and deservedly so.

I’m only retaining my membership at this point so I can be an ally and cast my vote in support of those trying to drag the RWA back from the cliff it seems determined to die on.

So somewhere in all these turbulent times I’m still trying to write LANDON, my next science fiction romance novel and tell a positive tale of the interstellar future and a Happy For Now ending (because this book is part of a series and there’s a lot still to happen in later books). It’s been a challenge this week to detach from the real world problems large and small.

Hang on to your hats – clearly 2020 is going to be a wild ride!

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RWA and the Diversity (Maybe) Apocalypse

Like Jeffe, my brain has been largely consumed by the conflict, hurt, and brokenness that appears to be the much-loved national organization of romance writers - and org I *thought* was actually committed to diversity and inclusion.

The past weeks have disabused a lot of people of that notion. Stay away from the Facebook page. I'm told it's a cesspool of people celebrating the fact that a huge number of marginalized authors no longer feel safe and have left RWA. It's bad. The moniker being tossed around online is no longer 'Romance Writers of America'. It's 'Racist Writers of America'. That's hard to swallow. Really hard. And I hate it. I hate that people who've felt ignored and hurt for so long have suffered, for them, what amounts to a mortal blow. All that work. All that trust. Shattered. Jeffe offers up good timeline tweets that sum up the issues, though as you pick a hashtag to dig into, you'll find the pool of gross goes much deeper.

So now what?

What's a neuro-atypical, CIS het-presenting white woman like me gonna do with that? Whelp. I figure it this way. White women made this mess. I'm here to be on the clean up crew. I can stare my privilege straight in the eye and use it as a crow bar. If boards need voting in or out to muck the most egregious offenses and offenders out of the organization, I'm good with it. Author Keri Stevens is doing a group read of White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo on Twitter (it's her pinned post on her profile - find it here.) I'm joining in on that so I can dig into the dark places in my own psyche where unexamined attitudes and behaviors may need eviction.

It's a new year. We most of us contemplate how to become better humans at this time of year. This is my first step. Get after cleaning up this mess, if it's possible. We've seen it happen. SFWA's been through this before us. As John Scalzi (I was gonna link you to the tweet, but you know, this dude is a riot so if you aren't already following him, for shame. Fix that.) so rightly pointed out, the way forward was to kick out the racists. Which is the exact opposite of what RWA has done. So. We'll see. The work will be hard. It may fail. I only know I have to be here to try.

What’s on my mind? Resisting the dark side.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. 

Anger leads to hate. 

Hate leads to suffering.” 

~Yoda

There’s always a certain level of fear present when you live with a chronic disease. There will always be days when pain, fatigue, or any number of other symptoms become debilitating. And there will always be some bad days that make you angry, make you want to lash out, make you hate. 

But, as Yoda said, the fear, anger, and hate are all a path to the dark side and they can steal your joy and ability to create. If I can’t concentrate and my energy is zapped, writing doesn’t happen. It’s frustrating, but it’s incredibly frustrating when the lack of writing is because I let myself get stuck on negativity.

Which means I face a daily choice; choose to find happiness and offer kindness or choose to wallow in pain and anger. A daily choice, walk on the light side…or the dark side. 

Like in Star Wars, it’s a fine line, and one that’s not restricted to people with illnesses. It’s easy to get wrapped up in anger, the RWA crisis is an example of that. While there are valid reasons for anger, I believe that many have forgotten that words are weapons and that we as authors are word Jedi.

I know I can’t make people act a certain way or do certain things. But, as I look ahead at 2020, I know that I can choose kindness and happiness. I can choose the light side. And maybe by adding a few more rays to the universe, I’ll help make the world brighter. 

Oh hello, shiny 2020

Hoh boy. Right now, the decade is winding down and we don’t even know what to call it. The 2010s? But “twenty-tens” sounds silly, and “twenty-teens” sounds mouthy. I’ve personally been calling it the “yeah that happened” decade, but that’s not the greatest name. Poor little unnamed decade. Maybe that’s why you’ve sucked so very, very much.

In true form, the Romance Writers of America — the only professional organization that allows someone of my meager earnings to join — is imploding. Google it. It’s a mess. I have no idea how they’ll crawl out of this, but one thing they managed to do is make the last few breaths of the 2010s (twenty-teens?) all about them. 

Which is maybe what writers do? We make our worlds all about us? Is that what we do? I feel like, if that is the case, I really need to apologize to my small cadre of loyal readers, because I sincerely did not mean to mess up your brain like this. It’s not you, it’s me. 

Which brings me, in a very round-about way, to resolutions. In 2020, what would I like to see or do more of? Well, I hereby resolve the following:

—I will live in the possible. The future is iffy, the past sucks, and the present is problematic at best. But the possible? That still does and always will hold magic. The blank page, the star-eyed baby, the first step on the path, the first note of a symphony: potentiality is promise is magic. I believe.

—I will go to church. Not, um, a building with some dude in a dress talking at me. I mean my church. The church of words. See, my therapist recently decoded something crucial in my brain and explained that writing, to me, is church. It is the thing that gives shape to my spirit. I suspect this is the case with a lot of writers. So hey, if that’s you also—or if your church is art of performance or knitting or gardening or horses — get your booty to church. Do the thing that makes you real. You don’t have to share any of it for the magic to happen. Just do the thing.

—I will but less. So, a lot of times in 2019 (and 2018, if we’re honest), I found myself saying some variation of, “Yes, that’s wonderful, but…” But, I’m old. But, I’m fat. But, I have no skills. But, my writing career has devolved into something heartbreaking. But I’m tired. But. But but. But stop. I mean, what would the world look like if I never used the word “but”? “Yes that’s wonderful.” “Yes, I wrote some books I’m proud of.” “Yes, some folks even liked them, they were reviewed well, they won awards.” “Yes, I can still see.” “Yes, I can still think.” “Yes, I can still write stories.” So, hey, self: no buts.   

—I will cut me some slack. If my kids do stuff that negatively impacts their future? I will not take the blame. If readers don’t want to partake of my latest fictional offering? I will not consider it judgment of my talent or potential. I will instead think of it as just, hey, that’s the world eh. If my jeans look fluffy or my face looks wrinkly or I don’t do whatever the thing is on time and to everyone else’s satisfaction.. well. I will say sorry. I will endeavor to do better. And then I will pick my big-girl self up and just keep living. People make mistakes. I will make mistakes. Mistakes are not the end of the world.

— I will love more. I mean, right now, it feels like I could not possibly love more — my kids, my partner, my family, my home town, my pets, my friends, my mom, my writing tribe, the people in RWA whose whole social and professional universe is fracturing, the people in Australia who are suffering through wildfires (again: google it). But the fact is that there is no limit on love. I can always love more. And what would that feel like? My God, it would be awesome.

So, okay, writers, I see a bright, shiny 2020 heading straight for us, and it doesn't deserve all our baggage. It is bright and beautiful. So hit me with all your resolutions. I will not say but. I will believe. Promise.

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Determinations Not Resolutions

On My Mind this, the final day of 2019, is this tweet and subsequent post from Saeed Jones, author of HOW WE FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES:

When I was growing up, my mom liked to say "We don’t make New Year's resolutions in this house; we make determinations. We are a determined household." Here is what I learned from watching my mother summon the strength necessary to keep going: https://t.co/zWI1En2on7

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) December 23, 2019

I not only love the simplicity of this statement by Saeed's mother, I respect and admire the strength of character communicated in the sentiment. It's stayed with me, picking at my mind in the quieter moments of the hectic holidays. Yes, determination not resolution. I don't resolve to do something as if I'm being forced by external influences to achieve their goals or what they perceive I should desire.  No, I am determined by the fires of purpose and planning within me to become who and what I wish on a path that will not break me.

So, thank you, Saeed. Thank you for honoring us with this glimpse of your mother and for letting us hold a tiny spark of her fire.

May the new year stoke the fires of your passions, Dear Readers, 

and may your path have enough twists to ensure 

you recognize and value all you achieve.

Why I'm Sticking with RWA

I'm getting back into the groove following a lovely Christmas holiday in Tucson with my family. I didn't take my laptop, and even read a paper book, staying pretty much offline except for the occasional Instagram post.

It was relaxing and restorative.

When I returned online Friday morning, 12/26, I fell face-first into the the RWA crisis. Since our topic at the SFF Seven this week is whatever is on our minds... well, I don't have much on my mind besides this.

There's a great deal online about it. If you don't know anything, this is a good run-down of the timeline. It's the best I've seen, though I hesitated to link to it because I don't like how Claire frames the situation with words like "implosion," "collapse," and "dinosaurs."

I don't think RWA is coming to an end, despite the almost gleeful predictions of it.

I do think this situation has exposed a number of massive problems. Not to be glib or pollyanna, I see this as a crisis/opportunity.

Yes, systemic racism is, has been, and continues to be a major issue within RWA. Despite concerted strides to correct the problems - with recent significant progress being made - it seems that policies and embedded practices in the organization have allowed a racist, exclusionary mindset to persist. In this particular situation, we've also run afoul of a cult of personality and a personal feud that led to Policies & Procedures being altered and bypassed to pursue a particular vendetta.

Former president (and all-around amazing person) Helen Kay Dimon laid out recommended steps in this tweet thread. I fully support those steps. I think that, if we are brutally thorough, we can get the ship cleaned up and back on course.

RWA has been very good to me. I know it hasn't been for everyone, but I owe a great deal to the organization When I joined as a newbie fiction author in 2007, RWA gave me all the tools to help me in my new career. I want RWA to be that for everyone. That's why I'm not abandoning ship. I'm offering my help to do whatever needs to be done - and I think the next few weeks will be key - so I really hope we can succeed. I don't believe RWA is a dinosaur. I think the organization can be better and do better.

I'm staying as long as there's hope.

My List of Top 10 Impactful #SciFi Romance Covers of 2019

There are two parts to this post – first, when I started thinking about doing a post on the most memorable-to-me science fiction romance covers I’d seen in 2019, I took my pen in hand and wrote down the ten which came immediately to mind. I see something like 3000+ covers a year (in 3 genres) while doing my weekly new releases column so if a cover stays on my mind that’s really impactful!

Please read on below the Top 10 for Part Two and my Honorable Mention covers!

(Drum roll please.....) 

THE TOP 10 IMPACTFUL COVERS!

Moving on to Part Two, I see well in excess of 600 science fiction romance covers a year while doing the report. This weekend I scrolled through every single SFR cover which made it to the blog in 2019 and ended up with 40 which caught my attention above and beyond the others. So about 8% (all numbers approximate). Obviously the ten I listed in Part One of this discussion are added to the 40 for a total of 50 (or about 8%) for 2019.

Before anyone rushes to apply my purely informal and highly personal results to their next book marketing campaign, I’m not any kind of an art or graphic composition expert! And there are giant trends in SFR such as the sexy manchest and abs, which I myself happily use on my Badari Warriors novels, and very much appreciate. I found that while looking at the 600+ covers for this exercise, most of those didn’t stand out to me as much as some others did when seen in a vast grouping of similiar images. They surely do catch my eye from week to week.  

I obviously am drawn to certain color palettes too…but who knows if I’m a typical reader?

On the weekly new releases posts, I include all the covers in the post itself (unless I really find a cover objectionable or too disturbing, or it's not remotely PG-13+, with total nudity for example) but I feature 8 covers each time in the social media promo for the post, including one that’s my highlighted image. I strive for variety there. In the spotlight of 8 images weekly, I try to mix professional-looking covers featuring individuals/couples/aliens/pleasing compositions/differing color palettes…I lean toward the covers which I feel will catch the eye of a potential reader as they browse through their streaming social media. My selection criteria on featured covers for the weekly promo are slightly different than the criteria I used for this massive end-of-the-year exercise.

So when I assessed my results on memorable covers of 2019, what did I find attracted me? What made me linger as I slowly scrolled my way through the list alphabetically by title? Sometimes it was the stock photo model’s face, or their eyes (I’m a sucker for piercing/soulful/gorgeous eyes) or the color palette or the ”scifi-ness” of the cover, or the couple together or just the power of the image overall. (I have to say for Tasha Black’s Tolstoy cover up above in the Top 10 it’s the sheer, infectious happiness of the man and the baby. For Lula Monk’s Dredge in the Honorable Mentions, it’s the unsettling power of the image. I find it hard to forget that one, very effective in its own way!)

Without further ado, here are the rest of the approximately top 8% of the hundreds of SFR covers I saw in 2019 which made me pause this weekend and take a longer look. Covers provided in no certain order!

And my thanks to all the wonderfully talented cover artists - if I knew all the names I would certainly share them here! Kudos to the authors who can do their own and make them outstanding. Feel free to add the artists' names in the comments if you so desire. 

Fiona Jayde does all of my covers, by the way and I loooove them.

Looking forward to savoring more beautiful, awe inspiring, sexy scifi romance covers in 2020!

Marcella's Top Three of 2019

In the liminal space between Christmas past and the New Year, we're posting our best three of 2019. Here are mine. Three new book covers in one year. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Alexia's Best Writing Tips of 2019 ~

A lot happens in a year. There’s undoubtedly been goodbyes and hellos, failures and successes, as well as some laughs and some tears. I’m grateful for it all because the highs wouldn’t be quite as high without the lows. 

But…how do you pick the best out of so much? Thankfully this is a book and writing themed blog, so that helps narrow it down. And without further ado…

The best writing advice I’ve utilized in 2019!

2: There’s always going to be resistance to our writing, as an author it’s your job to learn how to work around it. 

“There’s a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don’t, and the secret is this: It’s not the writing part that’s hard. What’s hard is sitting down to write. What keeps us from sitting down is Resistance.” ~ Steven Pressfield’s THE WAR OF ART

3: (Paraphrasing) In revisions, you just need to go with the story…and sometimes that means destroying things you really don't want to destroy. Revisions will take a lot out of you, and I’m learning how to roll with it and embrace it. Advice gleaned from: Jeffe Kennedy’s May 30th First Cup of Coffee.

There you have it, some gems I’ve picked up over the past year. I still don’t have it all figured out, but I’m still writing and maybe someday I’ll have some gems of my own to share! 

If you have any writing tips you've picked up, please share!

3 Favorite Fantasy Webcomics

In the throes of the holidays? Us too! You may have noticed we've been quiet this week. Me? I'm all about goofing off and relaxing in the hours before the holiday crazies kick into high gear. That includes catching up on my favorite Webcomics. With great illustrations and compelling storylines, here are my 3 Favorite Fantasy Webcomics:

1: Wilde Life by Pascalle Lepas
In 2014 a journalist from Chicago rented a haunted house in rural Oklahoma and befriended the ghost of a 1940s mathematician and a sullen teenage werewolf. For the last five years, Pascalle Lepas's OCs have all kinds of horrific and hilarious adventures with creatures and legends from mythology. A must-read for fans of SPN, Patricia Briggs (Mercy Thompson), and Faith Hunter (Jane Yellowrock).

2: Fox &Willow by Irma 'Aimo' Ahmed (Ills) and Allison Pang (Auth)
Twisted fairy tales retold from the perspectives of Gideon a fox demon and Willow an exiled princess and harpist. Happy endings aren't guaranteed, particularly for our leading characters. Great for fans of Bros. Grimm, H.C. Anderson, etc.

3:  Banquet by A. Szabla
A toddler falls into hell. Hell, for the record, isn't a nice place, but the Beast King of the Bottomless Pits of Hell adopts the toddler and raises him among the...hellish politics of the Six Holy Houses of Hell. It's filled with vicious, ruthless, and charming characters/creatures/monsters/demons/etc. This is NSFW replete with all the fun things that make the faint of heart clasp their pearls.

For those who celebrate it,

Merry Christmas Eve!

No Secret Recipes Here - Sorry!

DepostPhoto

Our topic this week was a recipe for a dish we’d take to a holiday party. Okay, my warning to you is that if you invite me I’ll be bringing pizza or Kentucky Fried Chicken, or yummy cheesecake or cupcakes from the local bakery….there will be no original cooking or baking done. I’m not much interested in cooking aside from the serviceable things one feeds a growing family and once or twice a year cranking up to do the big turkey dinner with all the fixings. I learned to bake a few specific desserts that I loved because my mother hated to cook or bake and refused to do so beyond the meat & potatoes type menu my father preferred, and one birthday cake each per year and a lemon meringue pie for my Dad.

I have no sekrit yummy recipes to share in this post, alas...

Wishing you a very Happy Holiday season!

Author's own photo, from her collection

Holiday Recipes for a Crowd

I like to experiment in the kitchen. Just like I like making stuff up on paper, I make stuff up with food. I especially love trying new, complicated recipes. They have to be complex. I get a charge out of that complexity, like I might be in the kitchen building my own culinary nuclear bomb, but only if I get Every Last Step exactly right. There should probably be a drug for that.

Sometimes the results aren't so great. Most times, we end up with something passably edible - you know - no one complaining, but no one raving, either. Then, every once in a while, we'll try something and everyone's eyes roll back in their heads (in a good way!) and we have a massive hit on our hands. From the ranks of those winner recipes, a few exalted get requested year after year, thereby attaining legendary status.

This is one of those recipes. It's our Solstice tradition. It takes three days to make (to achieve the greatest flavor.) Added bonuses: It requires power tools, and it's messy.

Doesn't this look appetizing??

This is Cherry Ring. The recipe comes from the December 1998 Vegetarian Times

3 Cups unbleached white flour
1/2 Cup sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
4 TBSP unsalted butter, cold, cut into small pieces
2 Eggs
1/4 Cup milk
1/4 Cup oil
1/4 tsp Almond extract

Filling
1/2 Cup blanched almonds toasted
2 Cups dried cherries
1/3 Cup honey
1/4 Cup orange juice
1 tsp orange zest
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves

Put all of your try ingredients into the bowl of a mixer. Add the butter and start the mixer on low to cut the butter into the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk your eggs, milk, oil and extract together. Add to your dry ingredients. Mix until the dough forms. Turn out on lightly floured waxed paper and knead a few turns until everything holds together. Wrap your dough well in plastic and refrigerate overnight.

Filling
Put all ingredients into the bowl of a food processor and process until coursely chopped. Cover and let sit overnight.

To assemble: Preheat oven to 375. Roll dough out between two sheets of waxed paper. Roll into an 18x9 inch rectangle. Remove top sheet of paper. Trim a one inch bit of dough from either end and set aside. Spoon filling in a 2-inch wide strip lengthwise down the center of the dough. Lift your bottom sheet of paper along one long edge and fold the dough over the filling. Repeat for other side. Press the edges together to seal. Invert seam side down on a cookie sheet. Coax into ring shape on the cookie sheet. You'll have to do some dough repair, but a few cracks won't hurt anything. If you're really ambitious, roll out your scraps and cut out holly leaves and roll berries to use for decoration on the ring. Paint with food coloring for extra effect. Brush with egg white and bake 30-40 minutes.

You want this baked the day before you need it. The shortbread layer softens and turns melt-in your mouth lovely for sitting the extra time.

Holiday treat? Always bake a favorite...pie.

My all time favorite dessert is pie. Pie you say? Which is what most people say when I tell them my go-to dessert or dish to pass. And my answer is always; you’ve never had homemade pie. 

I’ve tried countless slices at diners, restaurants, and even pie shops, hoping for heaven and instead getting tough crusts with tasteless filling. No wonder people aren’t clamoring for pie! 

But, I aim to change that and introduce you to a flakey, melt-in-your-mouth crust that holds bold fruit flavors with a hint of sweet inside. It’s fairly basic and after a couple of attempts, because doing anything well takes a few trial and errors, you’ll be pulling your own piping hot pastry from the oven.

Click to read on for the recipe...

Confession of a kitchen incompetent

I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess you’ve either been to a party, hosted a party, or planned a party recently. This does seem to be a time of year to get folks together indoors and share germs. Or holiday cheer, whatever. At any rate, those parties inevitably come with what I like to call YikesMustFood. This is a state of panic characterized by the shoving of things that were formerly in the refrigerator into a pan or pot or appliance, adding ingredients that might have once been tasty in a dish, and hoping for the best. In my version of reality, this process almost never works out well.

To be fair, me entire life as a mother is all about YikesMustFood, so adding that extra level of holiday anxiety is just frosting, sprinkles, and nerves. Pot lucks, as you can imagine, are my very favorite things.

Kidding. I hate them. Avoid them when possible. 

When it’s not possible? I can’t share the disaster of YikesMustFood with a dozen or more potential critics! Cooking for others is like publishing a story: it’s a gift that is almost certainly gross and will make someone sick, and they are guaranteed to either leave it on the tray and save themselves (smart!) or grab a serving, choke it down, and complain about it afterward. So... I don’t. Cook, that is.

Instead I buy cheese and wine. I know a little bit about both and can select decent combos, and its less vulnerable and crazy-making than cooking. If you are a fellow sufferer of YikesMustFood, this party-and-potluck season, be kind to you and just make a pretty plate full off purchased goodies. No one will even know the difference.

Panic Party Sangria

Have to attend a Holiday Party Potluck? Run out of time to whip up Gram's Golden Souffle? Dying to make a positive impression yet standing in the grocery store trying to choose between tortilla chips or potato chips? Is the cold sweat of panic slithering down your spine?

Back away from the junk food and head for the boozy aisle, with a stop through the kitchen supplies for a cheap pitcher--glass, plastic, whatever. Oh, also, take a left into the freezer section for a 10oz bag of frozen blueberries, raspberries, or berry blend--yes, frozen not fresh (you're using them as flavored ice cubes).


Panic Party Sangria Recipe:

• 1 Bottle (750ml) Cheap Red Blend (twist top, unless you're buying a bottle opener)
• 1 can or 1 20oz single-serve Ginger Beer (from the soda cooler would be great, but no worries if that ain't happening)
• 1 10oz/single-serving bottle of tart Fruit Juice (Cranberry, Cherry, Pomegranate) 
• 3/4 cup fruit-flavored liquor (Triple Sec, Blackberry, Cherry, Cranberry)
• 1 10oz bag of frozen berries 

While sitting in your car in the driveway of the host's house, dump the ingredients into the pitcher (yes, washing the pitcher first would've been ideal, but hey, alcohol kills, right? Sure.). To measure the fruity booze, fill the juice bottle halfway (or all the way if you need to). Gently swirl the pitcher on your stroll up the front walk.

Voilà! Enter the party with a drink that elevates you from the "Frank the Forgetful" to "Sam the Swanky."

*Note: Sangria is a blended drink in which all ingredients can be swapped out for something similar. Don't like reds? Try a bubbly prosecco. Ginger not your fav? Grab a Sprite or tonic water. Fruity liquor just too...too? Go for spiced rum or the classic brandy. The only thing you don't want to do is make it too sweet, which is easiest to achieve by keeping the wine medium-dry. Everything else is already sugary.

Happy Holidays! 

Raise a glass to making it through another party!

Jeffe's Sparkly Sugar Cookies

Our topic at the SFF Seven this week is "Holiday Potluck Dish: If you had to bring a dish to a winter holiday potluck, what would it be & what's the recipe?"

My holiday must-have are my Sparkly Sugar Cookies. I make a big batch of them and they serve as my standby to take to parties, give as impromptu gifts, and simply nom for pure holiday joy.


Instructions:

1 ½ cups unsalted butter, room temperature

2 cups white sugar

2 eggs, room temperature

2 egg yolks, room temperature

4 teaspoons vanilla extract (use the real stuff, not the imitation flavoring)

2 teaspoons almond extract

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt (if you used salted butter, skip this)

1 teaspoon baking powder


Beat together butter and sugar until fluffy. On this step, it’s hard to go too long. Let that sugar really melt in. Add in the eggs and egg yolks, one by one, mixing until smooth. Add vanilla and almond extracts gradually, mixing until smooth.

In another bowl, combine the flour, salt (if you’re using it) and baking powder. Gradually sift this mixture into the creamed butter mixture, beating constantly.

Cover the bowl with an airtight seal or wrap the ball of dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Working with a fist-sized ball of dough at a time, on a flour-sprinkled surface, roll out the dough with a floured rolling pin to about ¼” thick. (Keep the rest of the dough in the fridge while you work, so it stays nice and cold.) Use cookie cutters to cut out fun shapes or, if you don’t have them, a drinking water glass will work to make simple circular cookies. There's nothing wrong with a classic!

Bake each batch for 6-8 minutes and let cool on a wire rack. When I get a good rhythm going, I can roll out and cut one batch while the other batch bakes.

Let the cookies cool completely before frosting. To make the (very basic) icing:

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon milk (I use skim or 2% and it’s fine. Not that it matters with all that butter, but it’s what I usually have on hand.)

1 tablespoon light corn syrup

Mix together in a bowl. You want it to be very thick, so if it turns out runny, just add a little more powdered sugar.

I love the white and gold look for Christmas, because it adds a nice touch of glamour. So I leave the frosting white and use gold, silver and pearl decorative sugars.

Just smear the icing on the cookie—you can see I do spots on some and whole cookies on others, since everyone likes different amounts of frosting—and immediately sprinkle with your sugars.

There are lots of fun color schemes to play with, if you’re feeling frisky, too.

Enjoy!