I was most successful when I was most productive. But, as we all know, 'things' change. I overestimated the load I could actually carry.
Once upon a time, I had a lifestyle that allowed me to prioritize writing. As with many things, repetitive function made it better and easier. Then things changed and my creative 'me' time shrank exponentially.
As a creative spirit, losing that time to access the creativity meant the task grew harder. Think of it like an internal pipeline through which creativity flows because your brain is actively pumping the creative juices. But then the mind has to do other non-creative things for a large majority of time. Instead of creativity flowing unhindered, theres this OTHER INFORMATION showing up in the mental real estate, and it JUST KEEPS SHOWING UP. It has to go somewhere, so it gets stuck in this conduit or that pipeline in an attempt to keep something still flowing...and before you know it, the creative juices are dammed up because other things are taking priority.
That's the creative person's Hell.
Now, I feel like the mental real estate is clearing and the creativity is starting to flow again. It feels natural, not forced.
Goddamn, I've missed this.